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  1. #11
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    Default I hope my children never feel this way about me.

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Get another arrangement for helping out with your kids. Then don't let your mother do/say unacceptable things around you. Refuse to listen. Call her out. For example, if she dints a car door and wants to do a runner say "that's not nice, that's not very Christian of you.". If she says something racist say "that is racist and totally unacceptable in this day and age. Do not speak like that around me."

    If you be consistent, your mum will probably learn to curb her behaviors. But you need to put yourself in a position where you aren't relying on her for anything (childcare).
    100% this ^^

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    It sounds like she has narcissistic personality disorder. From what you have described, she sounds just like my mother. I haven't spoken to her in 12yrs because a relationship with her is just too much hard work. She would leave me emotionally screwed everytime I saw her. Which I could live with, but then she started the same stuff with my kids. Not on.

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    Have a look at http://daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/ and see if any of it rings true for you.

    Other wise if it's gotten worse in recent years there may be more like the early signs of something else.

    My mother has always been the above, it got worse as I got older due to her having less and less control over my life. Until after having our first two I realised for me to be the parent and wife I wanted to be I couldn't be the daughter she wanted me to be. I cut back which she didn't like and then cut her out of our lives, she had so many chances to prove she's changed but even with "help" she hasn't.

    Do what's right for you, despite what most people say you don't have to put up with being treated horribly because it's a parent or a family member. The problem is we're programmed and desensitised from a young age to see them as "normal" so it takes a while to realise normal is a measured a completely different way.

    I have a SIL who is also narcissistic still has everyone desensitised to her diva behaviour and doesn't understand how I see through her where as I've been through narcissistic boot camp and won't put up with her BS. If I won't put up with it from my mother I won't put up with it from anyone else. I'm polite I just don't engage the crazy behaviour


 

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