I didn't take much notice of these things before...
I didn't take much notice of these things before...
Honestly, I would just wipe her. You have tried to make amends, given her the money. Tried to deal with it out in the open. I know she is your husband's sister, but you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.
She was out of line here. If she had arranged a date suitable to you both, after the move and you left the rubbish then ok. but even then if it was me I'd be a tad miffed but I get right over it. It's some rubbish ffs. nothing to lose a brother and his family over. personally i smell jealousy...
Does your DH want a relationship with his sister?
Sorry, had to run so post got cut short!
I have experienced something similar within family and ultimately I wanted (and so did he, for the sake of his parents and our children) DP to have some sort of relationship with his sibling.
So I took a step back and he made contact with his sibling, just asking if he could bring the kids around for a visit (I stayed away) and that helped to thaw the ice.
I wouldn't say it's happy families by any stretch of the imagination because some people just have a chip on their shoulder and always feel that they've been harshly done by in life.
You can't change that, you just have to accept that they're high maintenance and rise above it. It's maddening at times but we know, at the end of the day, we've done all we can to make peace. And well, it's family.
Last edited by misskittyfantastico; 06-11-2012 at 21:32. Reason: adding
I've had similar issues with my SIL in regards to jealousy. She has been extremely nasty to me over the years and I tried to distance myself from her as I didn't need that kind of stress in my life. DH was always a bit hesitant to wipe her out as she is his only sibling.
However, after the birth of DS at the beginning of the year, she got really nasty when DH told her she couldn't visit on the day DS was born (as I had a csection and ended up with a massive bled and needed several blood transfusions) as I wasn't really feeling up to many visitors and we decided that we would just have our parents come for a short time. SIL got really worked up about it and posted on FB that she was banned from seeing her nephew and that we were extremely selfish. Lovely of her to turn a happy day for us into a family feud. Anyway, DH decided that her behaviour was ridiculous and told her as much. She didn't like this and continued her tirade about how horrible we were...she really couldn't let us have our happy moment of our son being born.
Anyway, we cut contact from then as this was the last straw after over 9 years of her crap. The past 10 months have been the most peaceful that DH and I have ever spent together. We no longer have to put up with her jealousy or nastiness. DH doesn't have to deal with her demanding phone calls. And our DS doesn't have to have a nasty influence in his life. I know some people will think its awful, but honestly it was the best decision DH has ever made. But as it was his sister, he had to be the one to make the call. Talk to your husband. See if he is ready to take this step. You don't need someone like that in your lives. xx
she is consumed by jealously....its manifested in this petty quarrel..infertility can be really cruel so she probably struggles with it..sure she should get over it but maybe she cant? if u guys were just friends you would have ditched each other years ago....but u cant cos its family, there is no escape...personally i think she is getting kicks out of "punishing" you and she can control this ..i wouldnt give her the satifaction anymore and just act like u couldnt care less about anything she does..presents or no presents etc ...its become a game now but if u dont play she is just going to get bored...youve tried everything.
Honestly I can't be bothered with drama-llamas like that, I wouldn't be giving either of them the time of day.
As far as the presents are concerned I just wouldn't accept them. I'd send them back with a little note explaining that if they want so little to do with you and your family then they should save themselves the money and quit with the presents.
Basically they're trying to guilt you into apologising for something that shouldn't even need an apology. Everytime she gives a 'gift' she's saying "I could be a fantastic, loving aunty if only you'd do things MY way and let me manipulate you." Bugger that!
I have a half sister like this. She's been difficult all of our lives, but since my father (her father) died, she's cut us completely, and her reasoning was basically jealousy. Without coming out and specifically telling us "I'm Jealous" she wrote a huge letter to my mum, telling her all her issues with us. None of them our fault. All basically that my Dad and her mum split up and because of that "I" got everything she wanted and deserved. Like that's my fault!
I tried so hard to keep a relationship with her, but in the end it wasn't worth it, she wanted nothing to do with me or my kids or my mum or my brother and didn't want us to have anything to do with her or her family. I only kept getting hurt by trying so hard, so it's over now.
I have 2 other half sisters from that marriage, and they are both lovely, and I still get invited to all the family gatherings and childrens birthdays. Funnily enough the 3rd sister is never at any of these gatherings and never gets mentioned. So she either doesn't go because we've been invited, or they've all had a falling out with her as well. I don't ask.
for you, family can really suck sometimes!!
Oh by the way, she doesn't send my kids presents, because she doesn't care. If she was to send presents I would ring to thank her and assume we'd made up and see if she wanted to see the kids! If she then continued to ignore and hate on me I'd be sending the presents back. The kids don't need presents from people who aren't in their lives.
Last edited by CazHazKidz; 12-11-2012 at 14:59.
I couldn't be bothered . You have given them years to get over it . Time to move on .
Sounds like my sil and bil . I made my mother in law a scrap book with her dh and her parents and her five children in it . She adored it .
Well bil and sil stopped talking to me and dh as they wernt involved in the making of the scrap book ( its a one man job ) anyways they feel they are owed a apology for not been included in the making of it . It was my idea and I don't regret any of it . It's been six months and dh has lost his best mate his bro over it . Some people can be so stupid . We have moved on and it sounds like you have to xx
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