I don't really have a problem per se, just the problems I am making in my own mind that I really need to put down in writing.
Firstly, I am 16 weeks pregnant (today!). I am very happy to be pregnant and my husband is too. We were trying for 7 months and had a miscarriage at 6 weeks in June but then was lucky enough to get pregnant again 6 weeks later. So this baby is very much planned and wanted by us.
The thing is (or one of the things that is!) is that we have never discussed having children with anyone we know. In fact, quite the opposite. I am 36 now, but had no desire whatsoever to have children until about 5 years ago. So for the past 5 years we have very quietly been preparing ourselves emotionally and financially to eventually have a baby. However, I am worried that everyone will think this baby is an accident because as far as everyone else is concerned, I don't like babies and don't want children.
Also, I was made redundant from my work a couple of months ago (I fell pregnant and lost my job in the same week - how is that for excellent timing!), so again I think that people will think this is an accidental pregnancy because the timing is so bad. And I do feel like a bit of a loser being knocked up and unemployed. So I guess that I am embarrassed by that - we were trying to be so organised and prepared but then we got knocked flat by my unexpected job loss. Plus there is the obvious stress of trying to look for work and knowing you are pregnant and going to be wanting time off in a few months time. Awkward position to be in.
I am worried about telling my family that I am pregnant, firstly because I am a very private person and I find it hard to make big announcements like that. Also, my family make such a big deal out of everything and I hate being the centre of attention. I would like to minimise the impact of my announcement in some way ("By the way I'm pregnant. Can you pass the salt please?") but at the same time, if I don't make a big deal out of it then people will think it was an accident and that we are not happy.
See, it sounds so stupid when I put it into words! I am just contrary by nature, I guess. If my family were the type to not make a big deal out of things, I probably would be complaining about that too!
Basically I would like to be able to announce my pregnancy with a minimum of fanfare but at the same time convey to people that I am very happy to be having a deliberately planned baby. And hope that they don't all laugh at me because I always said I didn't want children. And hope that I don't just start crying because I always cry anyway and everyone will just think I am being hormonal, which will make them laugh even more.
Also (even more!) my mother is incredibly domineering, yet obviously I love her and don't want to hurt her feelings, so I have to think of a nice way of telling her I don't want her coming to stay with us immediately after the baby is born. I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it, though. First I have to tell her I am pregnant, which may never happen. Do you think it is possible for us to hide this baby until...hmmm, let's see...it graduates from high school maybe? I wish I could!