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    Mods could you delete this thread for privacy reasons. Thanks.
    Last edited by Little Miss Muffet; 03-11-2012 at 13:33.

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    Default need to have a vent...

    He does sound like he needs a good kick up the bum! Maybe if you have your money separate, you need to have a budget where you both know who pays for what...

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    Default need to have a vent...

    Can I ask why if you're married you have separate money? I'm not married so can't speak for myself, but I assumed married people merged their money?

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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Is there something going on for your Dh that he is keeping to himself? Sounds like the way men behave when there is something bugging them. And, if there is, he needs to talk to you about it and stop being moody because that is no way to treat your wife and child.

    I hope his mood improves and he starts respecting you and your contribution to your family.

    Wise Enough - my husband and I still have separate accounts. We are just too lazy to change things around.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    Can I ask why if you're married you have separate money? I'm not married so can't speak for myself, but I assumed married people merged their money?
    Not always, everyone is different.
    Sounds like he doesn't appreciate your role in the household. I think maintaining a house and raising a family if hard work. Obviously throughly invaluable but probably harder than a job at times!
    hope his anger is not common as you and your daughter do not deserve that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    Can I ask why if you're married you have separate money? I'm not married so can't speak for myself, but I assumed married people merged their money?
    I know heaps of married couples who have seperate finances.. whatever works for them i suppose.

    op - is your hubby stressed out at work or something and taking it out on you?

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    Of course each to their own, but I've never understood the 'my money and your money' thing. Dh and I have seperate accounts, but it's all pooled together. Most of the direct debits come out of my account and DH's wage is for food, pre school fees, spending money. I take his card, he takes mine. We are a team.

    I suspect something is bugging him that has nothing to do with bait for your roof. I would have a good chat with him when your child is in bed and get to the bottom of what's really going on.

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    Default need to have a vent...

    Quote Originally Posted by SpecialPatrolGroup View Post
    Is there something going on for your Dh that he is keeping to himself? Sounds like the way men behave when there is something bugging them. And, if there is, he needs to talk to you about it and stop being moody because that is no way to treat your wife and child.

    I hope his mood improves and he starts respecting you and your contribution to your family.

    Wise Enough - my husband and I still have separate accounts. We are just too lazy to change things around.
    This^^

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    I'd be ****ed if I was spending money on boring, sensible stuff, and DH made out that I was some crazy spender! It doesn't sound like you're going out spending up big on designer clothes and shoes

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    Default need to have a vent...

    Whatever you do... Don't nag hubby about the bread knife and crumbs when he gets home. Pick your battles. At the moment the underlying battle that needs addressing is your financial situation. Picking on little things at the moment will only serve to create a toxic environment where you can't solve anything.

    Sorry to be harsh but the negative situation, caused by underlying financial issues, is both your faults. You are keeping information about bills from him... And spending money on presents and miscellaneous items without checking with him... Be honest, were the presents really necessary? Could you (as in the family unit) really afford them? At the same time, it sounds like your hubby is keeping money concerns from you.

    You are both adults and I find it inconceivable that with a kid and a baby on the way there is virtually no financial communication/partnership.

    Sit down with hubby an draw up a budget. Write a fortnightly/monthly lot of your joint income and everyone's expenses. IMO any free money left over should be split 50-50, but that's your call. Discuss your financial concerns and goals and Include a savings amount in your budget.

    Solve this problem and all the other things (stress, distance, anger) should fall into place.

    Then, if you are still concerned about it, wait a few days and bring up the little stuff (bread knife etc).

    Good luck


 

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