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  1. #1
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    Default Just need someone to talk to :(

    DH's family is tearing us apart
    His family always criticises the way I parent, everything I do is wrong, because I believe in attachment parenting/co sleeping, you know the deal. I never say anything but one day stupid old me decided to go on a ranting rampage on Facebook, somewhere along the lines of "buying a gun and shooting people as I've had enough of people trying to criticise the way I want to parent MY child" .. I know, very immature, but felt good to let it out even it was Facebook as I literally have no one to talk to. This was sparked because DH mum commented on how it was inappropriate for me to travel alone to take DD for swimming lessons. Excuse me? Second I checked, what I do with my child is none of your business and two I'm the mother, I don't have to justify my actions to anyone other than DH when it comes to DD. Well, that status has caused so much problems with the whole family! DH mum called up DH dad, who called up DH brother who then called up DH, THEN EVERYONE CALLED UP DH. So he's copping the brunt for my actions, so I decided to confront them saying I was sick and tired of them criticising my parenting, it's a learning process, I may not know everything but I'm learning as I go and for them to judge and make snide hurtful comments really hurt my feelings. Well, they didn't take so lightly to that and it pretty much blew up on me so I decided to block both DHs mum and brother on Facebook. The only this is, the only way they get to see DD was through my Facebook, so by blocking them it pretty much means they don't get to see DD grow up because they live interstate. Again, they called up DH and he copped the blame because I blocked them. I want to unblock them, but I don't want to have anymore ginormous fights in the family over a silly status, and if I god forbid were to go on a rampage again, it will cause problems again and I don't want that :/ Me and DH are always fighting about his side if the family and what they say and I always get upset because, I don't have any family, my parents pretty much abandoned and sometimes I feel so alone, I'm trying my best for my daughter and feel like I would be a better parent if I were alone, doing it by myself sp I don't have to out up with his side of the family. It's been like this since I first got pregnant, and over the months has gotten worse as DD daughter grows up. I don't know what to do, I love DH with all my heart but all our fights are over his family to the point where I just wanna break down and not go on, it's never ending. Sorry for such a long post, just wanted to get it off my chest. Maybe some of your ladies have a solution to my problem or have gone through the same thing as me? Would give good to hear from you.

  2. #2
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    That's sad :-( we're having problems with my MIL but thankfully DH is supportive and at the moment we are happy with our decision to cut her out.
    You need to talk to your DH, explain your point without fighting, try to put yourself in their and his shoes and ask for them and him to do the same for you. Write a letter to MIL explaining what you do and why her critisism hurts you, how her comments come across and that her negativity only hurts your marriage and that it really doesn't change how you parent your child. Ultimately if they all want to be part of your baby's life they need to shut up and get along with you because guess what everybody she's YOUR child!

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    Rinahbee  (02-11-2012)

  4. #3
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    Default Re: Just need someone to talk to :(

    Dr Phil (and other psychologist opinion) is "His family, HIS problem!"

    Why not come to an agreement where your husband had his family on his Facebook, can't they then see pics of your DD that way?

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    onkybear  (02-11-2012),Rinahbee  (02-11-2012)

  6. #4
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    Default Re: Just need someone to talk to :(

    PS I think almost ALL of us will have been criticised by our MIL's at some point, so I know I certainly sympathise :-(

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    mrswhitehouse  (02-11-2012),Rinahbee  (02-11-2012)

  8. #5
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    Default Just need someone to talk to :(

    Just organise lists on your FB so his family can see photos but not your status updates!

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    Rinahbee  (02-11-2012)

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    Default Re: Just need someone to talk to :(

    I have a very overbearing MIL who drives me NUTS!!! DH is her eldest and she had him quite young then years and years later decided to continue her family so she has a 13 yo G, 11yo G and 9yo B to a moronic poor excuse of a male so she constantly treats DH like he is her husband and honest to god she is having massive issues with us starting our own family! Oh gosh I have a million gazillion things that are driving me nuts if I get started!!!! She's a serious issue and DH is the same if I try express things to him in a civil manner even "she's your mum, you know her best so how should I handle this" he flys off the handle and gets really defensive! It hurts like hell they were living with us until only recently what was meant to be 3 weeks turned into a year and these people have ZERO respect for their own home and less for mine after 6 years of living together DH told me maybe I should move out if they were getting to me and YES I AM PREGNANT!!!!! Uck! Whilst I've never mentioned a gun sometimes I'd like to lol! Don't get me wrong DH is an amazing man, an amazing partner but their mothers will always be their mothers :'( and you can either have great in law's or completely lousy ones :'( so whilst I have no advice I can honestly say I UNDERSTAND mine is soooo sarcastic, judgemental and snide it is just mind blowing but we're stuck with them lol!

    Sent from my ST25a using BubHub

  11. #7
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    Default Just need someone to talk to :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Babyduck77 View Post
    Just organise lists on your FB so his family can see photos but not your status updates!
    Oh didn't know you could do that! Thank you

    Miraclemaker, sounds like we're in the same boat! I say the exact same thing to DH about his mum, in the gentlest tone and he flips out! *sigh* gonna have a sitdown with him and really talk about it, like you said I'm stuck with them for life *megasigh*

  12. #8
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    Your husband needs to stand up for you. If he's not then you need to tell him to. You don't need to put up with their crap.

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    Rinahbee  (02-11-2012)

  14. #9
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    We have problems with both sides of our family, if its not mil or sil its my mum so I know the irritation! DH and I sat down when DD was a newborn and many of these problems started and had a very long talk. In the end it boiled down to this... DH, DD and I are OUR family. People can either be involved or not but OUR family comes first, always. Problems with DH side are dealt with by him and my side is dealt with by me.
    The Facebook lists sound great to.

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    Bulbasaur  (02-11-2012),Rinahbee  (02-11-2012)

  16. #10
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    Its your facebook profile, so if you don't want them there then you don't have to have them. Simple.

    Fb is not the only way to communicate. Tell your DH to open his own fb profile, upload pics of DD and share them with his family. Or just regularly email them photos, or even send them a photobook of DD each year, with that year's special moments.

    Bottom line - you are not the sole keeper of your DDs photos. Your DH should take responsibility for communicating with his family, and keep them in the loop about his daughter himself.

  17. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to MissMuppet For This Useful Post:

    Bulbasaur  (02-11-2012),OJandMe  (26-11-2012),Rinahbee  (02-11-2012),~ElectricPink~  (03-11-2012)


 

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