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  1. #21
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    My ex sees my dd maybe 3 - 4x a year. Sometimes he rings every week, sometimes not for months. At first it hurt us both, but I have worked on making our lives happy and fulfilled so that she doesn't feel like she is missing out by not hearing from him. I always took the viewpoint that he is missing out, not my child and my dd views it that way as well (if she ever thinks about it). She is becoming a confident,happy and secure young woman. A childhood where the father is not very involved does not have be a childhood where something is missing.

  2. #22
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    Default Re: How often does FOB contact?

    Quote Originally Posted by beancounter View Post
    . A childhood where the father is not very involved does not have be a childhood where something is missing.
    ^ this ^
    Once I realised my father wasn't around I got everything I needed and more from my mum. Sometimes I felt even more blessed than friends who had both parents because we had such an amazing special bond with our mum and only our mum.


    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub

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    Ellewood  (03-11-2012)

  4. #23
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    Default How often does FOB contact?

    My ex sees DS about 2 times a year. Has only seen him 6 times in almost 3 years. He has phone calls twice a week but very regularly misses calls. It can be weeks between contact

  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by LRA View Post
    ^ this ^
    Once I realised my father wasn't around I got everything I needed and more from my mum. Sometimes I felt even more blessed than friends who had both parents because we had such an amazing special bond with our mum and only our mum.


    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub
    Thats beautiful

  6. #25
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    Default How often does FOB contact?

    FOB sees DS twice a week, and he doesn't contact unless he knows that DS is sick, or to ask how he went with things such as appointments/special events. And that's the way I prefer it really!

  7. #26
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    Default How often does FOB contact?

    Thanks everyone. I guess this is pretty normal and so far he is even being better than some of your FOB. I feel for the kiddies involved.

    I just need to push my own emotions aside and accept that he doesn't have to text every other day to check in with him. Perhaps because this is still so new for me and he keeps saying he 'just needs time to think' rather than 'I'm not coming back', makes me upset when he goes days without contact.

    But the more I think about it, the more I'm upset for me probably, not as much DS who is too young to get it yet anyway. Thanks for putting it in to perspective for me everyone.

  8. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    Thanks everyone. I guess this is pretty normal and so far he is even being better than some of your FOB. I feel for the kiddies involved.

    I just need to push my own emotions aside and accept that he doesn't have to text every other day to check in with him. Perhaps because this is still so new for me and he keeps saying he 'just needs time to think' rather than 'I'm not coming back', makes me upset when he goes days without contact.

    But the more I think about it, the more I'm upset for me probably, not as much DS who is too young to get it yet anyway. Thanks for putting it in to perspective for me everyone.
    It is tough. It will get easier for you with time, and just remember that just because he doesn't make much contact, doesn't mean he isn't thinking about and missing your DS.

  9. #28
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    In my situation FOB is in contact too much. He has ds (aged 5) 1 night per week and then every 2nd weekend. It's very hard on ds as FOB walked out of here and straight into living with the woman he was having his affair with. She has 5 children and ds would like to see his dad sometimes without the other kids but FOB refuses.The youngest child at FOB's calls my ex 'dad' which upsets ds as the child has his own dad and my ds can't understand. Then FOB sees dd (aged 6 months) for 3 hours, 4 times per week but always brings her back early and she is always crying on her return. She cries, ds cries cause he hates seeing his sister upset and then I cry later because i'm sad for the kids. It also upsets ds as he knows his dad is rude to me (either grunts at me, intimidates or ignores me) but FOB just continues on. I'm hopeful that FOB cuts back or disappears altogether. There are numerous layers to this story which I won't share here but I feel for the sake of the kids they would be better with no contact.


 

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