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  1. #11
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    Default How often does FOB contact?

    He rings on their birthdays, well not DDs actually. He has seen then ?3 times this year. He last had the boys overnight in August 2010.

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    Default How often does FOB contact?

    My xH never makes contact when he doesn't have the boys. He has them 4 nights a fortnight - when he has them though he texts photos etc. I used to text and call daily when he had them because I missed them do much - I don't tend to do that anymore - even though I miss them.

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    Default How often does FOB contact?

    Quote Originally Posted by MerryR View Post
    He rings on their birthdays, well not DDs actually. He has seen then ?3 times this year. He last had the boys overnight in August 2010.
    That's incredibly sad for your boys

    I don't *think* DH would ever do that, he states he wants to see him every weekend. I just don't get how Dads can just shut off completely when not around. Wired differently I guess.

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    Default Re: How often does FOB contact?

    My partner sees his daughter every second weekend. During the time his ex has her we hope and pray that she will let us know if something is wrong. When we have her, we inform her if DSD gets sick or hurt. We just had DSD for a week and the only real contact after her birthday was to confirm when we were dropping her off. For us, that is the best way as I don't always get along with DP's ex and sometimes get a bit jealous... He just personally can't stand her and puts up with her for the sake of his daughter, as do i. Just go with the flow and inform him when your LO is sick or hurt and to organise pick up/drop off. It will get easier with time

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  5. #15
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    Default How often does FOB contact?

    My XH never contacts the kids or asks how they are between his time with them. He is meant to have them every second weekend but we swapped a weekend so he's now not seen them for 3 weeks but will have them this weekend and next.

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    Default How often does FOB contact?

    Ex is supposed to see them every 3 weeks but it's been 4 since the last time he saw them and almost a week since he spoke to them and that was only coz I demanded that he explain himself to them. We won't hear from him again till the day before the next scheduled visit - honestly I prefer it that way because he's a selfish P.I.A. who only sees them to keep up his C'link payments

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    DS's dad (exH) generally only calls or texts if he has to, like to discuss arrangements or whatever. Never really calls to see how DS is.

    DD's dad (FOB) is a bit the same, only calls to arrange visits etc. Having said that, my relationship with FOB is much more friendly than what it is with exH. I visit FOB's parents a couple of times a month, and FOB usually joins us all for lunch. I'm also friendly with FOB's wife (he met her after DD was conceived), I probably actually have more contact with her, we text each other and PM via Facebook.

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    He doesn't...

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    I just don't get how Dads can just shut off completely when not around. Wired differently I guess.
    Men are good at compartmentalising their lives. That's how.

    ExDP sees DS every second Sunday. A few weeks ago he tells me he wants to see him every weekend on either a sat or Sunday. I said we can try it out, but of course he then turns around and cancels when he has something better to do. So then I end up annoyed. When DS is sick, he doesn't show much concern apart from worrying that his new DS might catch it.

    He did used to visit DS more often, drop in during work hours etc. but he's been quite rude to me lately and uncharacteristucally mean. I think his partner has been in his ear or something about me. She needn't worry. I am over him completely!

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    Ok, so I am not in the same boat as all of you, but experience from my own childhood, my parents split before I even remember. I used to see my father every second weekend, but he never called in between. When I was young I used to ask why dad didn't speak to us in the week (me and my brother who was two years older than me). Even as a child, I remember that I was only about 9 or 10 before I stopped bothering to ask why he didn't call and I never wanted to go and visit him when I was supped to because he didn't bother in the time in between.
    Now, as an adult, he drives me crazy calling multiple times a week, because he is lonely and wants someone to talk to. He started doing this even more frequently when my mum (who I was extremely close to) passed away when I was 20. Even now I hold some resentment towards him because he didn't make the effort when I was younger. He may be trying now, but it doesn't make up for his absence when I was a child.

    I can remember, mum was like you and wanted him to speak to us more, but I think that made it even harder for me because I didn't want to see her upset over it, I would rather her not waste her energy on worrying about him if he wasn't worrying about us.
    Focus your energy on yourself and bub, not worrying about him.
    Good luck with it all

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