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  1. #1
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    Default I'm so over autism

    Most days I'm ok that my eldest child has autism, but recently I'm so over it. So mad about it. Autism holds all of the family hostage and we all do what we can to appease it , to stop the melt downs to keep my son on an even keel so his autism stays happy.

    I hate to say that my son is an autistic. He is so much more and yet his autism can play havoc with that beautiful boy and this family.

    We have all been doing well with RDI therapy but its not a cure and it is long term, my son is doing so well but it's so exhausting . All day I'm at the mercy of his demands and I'm beginning to get annoyed. As he grows older the pure lack of respect for me is wearing me down.

    My question is how much of this behavior can I excuse and how much is the personality of my child.?

    I'm sick of being yelled at if I sing. I'm sick of not being able to listen to music of he doesn't want me too. I'm sick of being woken in the night to a nearly 4 year old screaming his demands and at the same time not understanding what is wrong . I love him but I'm sick of his autism and how it runs my life. Puts my two other kids prioritys second. Teaches my other two kids that screaming gets you mummy and not asking nicely.

    I'm Sick of changing nappies with 4 year old poo in,sick of him refusing to brush teeth , cut or wash hair, cut nails ... Sick of the muderous screams he lets out if we try.

    I am proud of how I have handled my son since birth, I've always been calm and loving and seen this as a challenge where I need I be patient . But I'm sleep deprived and have a newborn also and I wish I could just extract the autism and flush it away.

    I have had enough and I'm feeling guilty for my son. I love him I don't want to be mad but I can't help it right now.... I'm sick of being bossed around 24/7 by a 4 year old who is rude to me . I don't even know if he understands love . But I love him so so much it breaks my heart to think he suffers so , I feel bad as I know he could be a lot worse and I do feel like he has a good future if i stay calm , stick with the RDI , show him love and not expect him to show it back much..... But how do I do it year in year out ? I'm feeling guilty and at the same time I have to install some discipline ,for his future and for my other kids..... Sometimes it's just a bit tough .

    I know I'm lucky .


    Uurrggh rant over .

  2. #2
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    Oh my I couldn't imagine dealing with what you have to deal with. and more

    I'm sure you are doing an amazing job and I commend you on your work so far. I'm positive your son is extremely lucky to have you.

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    babynomad  (01-11-2012)

  4. #3
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    sorry, i wish i could help, but all I have is hugs, and praying for you to have the strength to continue. The road is long and wearying, but each little victory along the way, makes it so worth while. hugs, Marie.

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    aww hun. i couldnt read and not reply. i personally dont have a child with autism but a close friend of mine has 3 kids on the spectrum (her eldest being the worst) so have seen how tough it was on her and her husband. (i lived with them at one stage) i admire you for what you are doing, you are trying your hardest everyday to make sure your ds has a happy and safe place to come home. you should be so proud of yourself!! your doing a wonderfull job, its tough but your getting through it.
    they feel and understand love just as much as anyone. i believe anyway.( actually think that they have more love to give than a peraon without autism because they are so pure and so innocent and honest iykwm)

    hang in there xxx

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    babynomad  (01-11-2012)

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    Default I'm so over autism

    I couldn't read this and not say anything. I have no advice

    Do you go to counseling?

    I have no experience with autism and I think family's with children who have autism are insanely strong and amazing!
    I have no idea how I would handle it, my kids don't have autism and I still want to pull my hair out.

    So my hat off to you for getting this off your chest. And handling something that can be so tough.

    Xx

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    babynomad  (01-11-2012)

  10. #6
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    Thanks everyone! Just needed to get it out!
    Been feeling so guilty and like I had 'fail' written across my forehead .

    I guess we all have off days / weeks. Thanks for making me feel better xxx

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    Default I'm so over autism

    I have 2 autistic children and I am over it to!
    Normally I deal with it fine but yesterday they both had bad days and I've been left with the bruises to prove it.
    Have you got a good support system?
    I meet up with other autism mums twice a week and that has been the best thing to keep me sane.
    Hugs! You are doing a great job! xx

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    babynomad  (01-11-2012)

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    My DD2 is on the spectrum (Specific Language Impairment with ADHD and Autistic traits) and will be 4 end of Feb and is pretty much non-verbal (maybe has 40 or so words and no real sentences)

    I never know what her wants or needs truly are and when she's having a meltdown we never know why.

    I hear you.I hate what this is doing to her and our family.We have no family support here (ADF family) and our friends can't be relied upon because she is just too full on for most people,so I deal on my own.We're moving in 6 weeks closer to family though,they've never been around her much so Im not sure how they will go with helping either.I don't think they conceive how much hard work she can be.They seem to think she's just going to 'grow out of it'.

    I just want her to speak.I don't know if Im any good at this whole special Needs parent thing and often wonder if people could do it better than me.

    Anyways to you and some

    Because it's a damn hard job we do.
    Last edited by pennylane; 01-11-2012 at 13:01.

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    babynomad  (01-11-2012)

  15. #9
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    Gosh, sometimes I wonder if my newborn will be autistic like her brother , my middle child isn't . I have been wondering since being pregnant if she will be , not that it would be the end of the world or anything as my son is wonderful just his bad days are bad days( bad family days) , I just wonder how I would keep my energy.

    Thanks for your support guys, I know I have it a lot easier than some xx

  16. #10
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    Default Re: I'm so over autism

    Chin up, you're doing the best you can :-)

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    babynomad  (02-11-2012)


 

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