+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    63
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked
    5
    Reviews
    0

    Default Why is it called pro-choice when I don't want to make either choice!

    So after a break in a condom and an ineffective MAP, I find myself pregnant with baby #4.

    Our first child was unplanned, but termination never came across my mind. I was an unplanned bub myself, and I had a stable job and whilst young, the capacity for a massive life change.

    Fast forward almost a decade later and our 3rd bub is 10 months old. Baby #3 had a rough start in NICU for a months and the entire pregnancy was stressful. I also feel at capacity. The night the breakage happened was the night before I went back to work. The worst timing ever.

    There are many reasons termination is right for me, for us as a family - not just our financial situation, but my mental health - just the thought of going through another pregnancy right now freaks me out completely.

    But I didn't want to put myself in this situation. If I win lotto, I know I'd be able to make mental and financial space for another cutie in our family.

    No-one must actually ever want to be put in a position where they need to even make this choice. Damn, that's why I was using contraception!!

    Anyway, I needed to vent. I've been avoiding the whole issue, and just needed to let it out.

    Thanks Ladies for listening xx

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    1,082
    Thanks
    254
    Thanked
    169
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Re: Why is it called pro-choice when I don't want to make either choice!

    Hugs.


    Sent from my HTC Wildfire S A510b using BubHub

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Bayside Brisbane
    Posts
    7,027
    Thanks
    1,230
    Thanked
    1,959
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    not good

    I hope you can make your decision soon and feel ok with it. What a difficult situation xoxo

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    3,487
    Thanks
    449
    Thanked
    1,571
    Reviews
    12
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Re: Why is it called pro-choice when I don't want to make either choice!

    deleted.
    Last edited by MummaOJ; 31-10-2012 at 19:18.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Woodford
    Posts
    749
    Thanks
    14
    Thanked
    240
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Why is it called pro-choice when I don't want to make either choice!

    Hugs OP, I'm facing the same decision myself. I also am considering termination for my mental health.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Qld
    Posts
    26,930
    Thanks
    2,736
    Thanked
    6,743
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    I wouldn't want to find myself in that position where I had to make a choice either.

    I mean, I was potentially in that place when I fell pregnant with DD, but was so opposed to the idea that it was never really a choice anyway... but now, if I fell pregnant right now... my head and heart would be pulling me all over the place and I have no idea which option I would choose. I think both would have the same level of positives and negatives... what a tough decision to make.

    I hope you manage to make a choice that you feel is best. xx

  7. #7
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
    Winner 2008 - The most optimistic poster
    Winner 2014 - Most Helpful Moderator
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Perth WA
    Posts
    22,404
    Thanks
    5,372
    Thanked
    5,811
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator
    200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a week


    Its such a hard position to be in.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    63
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked
    5
    Reviews
    0
    Thanks for your support xxx

    I've made two appointments, one with my own counsellor and one with a clinic. Let's see if I can make a choice

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,403
    Thanks
    93
    Thanked
    387
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I hope everything works out for you, it's good you are seeing two counselers, when I was trying to make such decisions the counseling I got was ridiculous, to the effect of " oh we'll you're here you must have made up your mind"....
    Just wanted to say that decisions made in fear and haste are always regretted, take your time and talk to as many counselers as you can, writing down things always clears my head.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Adelaide
    Posts
    791
    Thanks
    18
    Thanked
    182
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Why is it called pro-choice when I don't want to make either choice!

    Such a had decision because you know if you continue with the pregnancy you'll love that little baby to pieces but then at the same time if you terminate you'll most likely still love the bubs that could have been but know you have made the right choice.

    I would hate to have to make the decision now.
    I terminated a pregnancy when I had a 1 year old almost 7 years ago because I knew at that time I was not mentally ready for another and I knew I didn't want to be with the father for any longer than I had. And looking back I don't regret it.

    Like you said when you had your first unplanned baby termination didn't cross your mind, just as it didn't cross my mind either and I think that's because we knew what we were doing.

    Maybe your mind thinking of termination is your minds way of telling you the answer.


 

Similar Threads

  1. would you prefer your child obey you, or make their own choice?
    By trishalishous in forum Social Issues
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 03-08-2012, 19:32
  2. Buying a new television, how do you make a good choice?
    By headoverfeet in forum House & Gardens
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 10-01-2012, 18:37

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Mother and Baby Shop
Save $$$ during our Christmas Sale Mother and Baby Shop
Great prices on Schoenhut kids pianos, toys, baby clothing as well as big brands like Pigeon, NUK, Cherub Baby and many more. Sale starts on 1 November 2016 and ends on the 27 December 2016. Hurry! Place your order today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Baby Sensory
Baby Sensory is the only baby programme that offers a complete approach to learning & development. Our classes offer an exciting world full of fun sensory experiences for parents and babies to enjoy.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!