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  1. #11
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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    Default how to choose between 2 people to marry and have children with.

    To me marriage isn't something you would ever need to write up lists of pros and cons about. You're either in love with someone and can't imagine your life without them, or you're not.

    Sounds to me like your friend needs to keep looking.

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    To me marriage isn't something you would ever need to write up lists of pros and cons about. You're either in love with someone and can't imagine your life without them, or you're not.

    Sounds to me like your friend needs to keep looking.
    I agree.

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    I think before you consider marriage and children, you should be in a long-term commited relation to ONE of them and one alone. You don't just date 2 different people then make a choice. This isn't The Bachelor.

    If he can't choose between them, he really shouldn't be considering marriage and kids with either of them.
    Last edited by SassyMummy; 29-10-2012 at 10:04.

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    Get him to think about a scenario in his head, a picture of when he's 60 years old, it's Sunday or Christmas what does he see? I always see a big table with all my children their partners and little ones running around, I'm standing with a bowl of food in my hands and my husband lovingly behind me with a hand on my shoulder he gives me a peck on my cheek and pulls a chair for me.
    He should also ask the ladies this question, it might help make a decision, also after kids you never regrett anything, to regret would mean your kids might not be here...

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    Default Re: how to choose between 2 people to marry and have children with.

    When i date people i always have future in the back of my mind. I don't date them saying to myself i will may them one day, but if i know there is no possibility of it, than i just don't want to spend my time, and theirs working at it. So far it's resulted in three fantastic friendships with guys after the initial hurt cause it's considerate and honest.

    Perhaps the OP is liking at the same sort if thing... Which do i want to invest in emotionally cause they're both awesome.

    My big big big things are financial personality (relationship with spending/saving), sense of honour, honesty and parenting approach.

    Everyone has their own deal breakers and sealers though

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  8. #16
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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    Warning I am old fashioned and fully believe the following


    If you have too choose between 2 people neither one is the right one for you.

    When you find the right one to marry and have kids with, they will stand heads and shoulders above the rest.
    Totally agree with this.

    The person you marry should never be a choice, they should be the only one even within your line of sight and everyone outside the borders of them should just...not....exist.

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    Default Re: how to choose between 2 people to marry and have children with.

    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    Warning I am old fashioned and fully believe the following


    If you have too choose between 2 people neither one is the right one for you.

    When you find the right one to marry and have kids with, they will stand heads and shoulders above the rest.
    Amen!

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    Neither hopefully the women will be aware he can't make up his mind and run.
    Cheeky bugger he is "honey you are great I'm just not sure if I want to marry you or the other chick".

    Call me a romantic fool but last time I checked you should marry the person you love.

    Fancy writing down both their qualities.. Lol.. I would have slapped him.

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    Gosh I'd hate to be the women in this scenario...waiting to see if I'm worthy or not to be married...let alone even date!

    How about dating first?

    Has this guy even considered that perhaps HE'S not marriage material. Because even with all those great qualities I wouldn't marry him. He sounds like he sees women as property, like he's choosing the best car. Yuck!

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    Default how to choose between 2 people to marry and have children with.

    I reckon neither of them even know they are in his sights.

    Bet whoever he chooses runs away screaming!

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