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  1. #1
    OJandMe's Avatar
    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    Default If you don't like your IL.... do you expect your OH to like your parents?

    Do you expect your OH to deal with your parents more than you deal with theirs?

    And if you don't like your IL's, how does that effect your OH's relationship with your parents?

    Do you respect their right to not like/want to associate with your parents if they don't like them?

    Or do you both just suck it up, deal with it and fume away silently at every interaction?

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    My il's are annoying, stubborn and are stuck in old fashioned ways, to the point that sometimes I can't be around them, or answer their phone calls and DD won't be left alone with them.

    Dh respects this, as I do try most of the time, but he thinks the same things about them and completely understands I need a break sometimes!

    He has no issue with my parents, honestly if he did I would think him a bit weird! My parents are friendly, laid back and extremely respectful of us.

    I do know he sometimes gets annoyed at my grandpa and prefers not to just pop in when its not a family function, and that's fine with me, he can be a frustrating, intolerable old man

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    My husband doesn't like his parents. He doesn't actively dislike his mother but they dont have a great relationship. So he understands why other people feel the same way about them. We are polite and friendly but thats it really.

    I wouldn't expect him to like my parents if it didn't come naturally. Fortunately though he really likes them and they get along great so its never been a problem.

    If I didn't like his parents hut he did then I could see why it would make life hard. Its not an issue though.

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    Default If you don't like your IL.... do you expect your OH to like your parents?

    I love my IL's, we have a fantastic relationship. As does DF with my Mum and sister.
    He will not however have anything to do with my Dad again and I completely respect that decision as I have also cut him out.

    I think it's up to both parties to be mature and polite for the sake of their partner but I think you definitely can't force a good relationship and need to respect the other persons views.

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    I don't dislike my in laws, its just that MIL is very old fashioned and from a previous generation to my parents. She thinks she knows everything about child raising in particular and often makes me feel inadequate which I hate. She is way behind the times and Dh is in agreeable with this. I tolerate her but can never treat her or respect her in the way I did my mother. I thankfully live far enough away that I can usually tolerate her on the few occasions every year that I see her otherwise it would be a lot worse, I would hate her probably.

    Just because I have that relationship with mil doesn't mean Dh has to have the same with my mum. When she was alive Dh got along with her just fine.

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    I would expect dh to show respect for my parents and he'd expect the same from me. I'd associate with them when it is necessary but no more, I would not expect my dh to associate with mine anymore than what's necessary (birthdays, x'mas, family get togethers).

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    Why would how one person feels about a couple effect how the other person feels about a different couple.

    Surely it should be about the people and how you interact as adults rather than what is owed/expected/deserved etc

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    I love my IL so much they are like parents to me, I see them way more than my own parents ( they live in country), I would be lost without them. But so true, my hubby loves my mum and dad like he would his own, and will even tell me off if I ever have a tiff with them. My mum and dad also love my IL and tell me all the time how lucky I am to have great IL. My mum loved her MIL more than her own mum. I know I am blessed. Funny when MIL rings and talks to me for 1 hour then asks if hubby ( her son ) is home.....proud to say I love my Mother in law and Father in Law, and My hubby loves his......If you ask my dad about his MIL well mentions of broomsticks will be heard, also same if you talk to my grandad....think me and hubby did well

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    Default Re: If you don't like your IL.... do you expect your OH to like your parents?

    I adore my in laws (despite dp trying hard to make me not like them, telling me lies about them calling me fat & lazy)

    He hates my entire family & refuses to have anything to do with them because mum told him off once for not helping me get ready for our inspection

    Sent from my MB526 using BubHub

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    I like FIL. MIL confuses me because sometimes she's nice, but then she'll spend too much time with b*tch SIL and turn into a b*tch herself. I dislike SIL. The other SIL lives overseas, so I don't really think much about her... she's okay when I've seen her.

    DP doesn't like my Dad. He seems to not mind my mother.

    We'd have issues if he hated my mother. She is so supportive and helpful and wonderful, that I couldn't handle someone not liking her.


 

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