Closed Thread
Page 6 of 16 FirstFirst ... 45678 ... LastLast
Results 51 to 60 of 159
  1. #51
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Toowoomba
    Posts
    8,747
    Thanks
    2,851
    Thanked
    1,440
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Cheerilee View Post
    Of course she does not deserve it. But the consequences should be the same for BOTH if they are hitting. They should both be shown that neither behaviour is right.
    Yes but she's already been beaten (he wasn't beaten by her...just hit)...hence she's already had her consequence AND SOME. Do you understand?

  2. #52
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    41
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked
    17
    Reviews
    0

    Default Differences in 'abuse'.

    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I think what D is asking (and correct me I'm wrong? lol) is it ok for her older, bigger son to hit his sister back when she hits him?
    where does strength come into it then? morally no one should be hit, and no one should hit back, regardless of who is bigger or stronger.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Jinxed For This Useful Post:

    BlissedOut  (27-10-2012)

  4. #53
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,690
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week

    Default Differences in 'abuse'.

    Treating your daughter more softly when she hits your son is not doing her any favours In the long run. Perhaps your son senses you arent really disciplining your daughter and is hitting her harder as a result. He has a right to ensure his sister doesnt keep hitting him, especially if his parents arent really addressing it.

  5. #54
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,517
    Thanks
    432
    Thanked
    3,246
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Re: Differences in 'abuse'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Yes but she's already been beaten (he wasn't beaten by her...just hit)...hence she's already had her consequence AND SOME. Do you understand?
    Erm.... I strongly disagree with this unless you‘re using violence to teach your kids that violence is not okay.

    Sent from my HUAWEI-U8850 using BubHub

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Jennaisme For This Useful Post:

    BlissedOut  (27-10-2012),PomPoms  (27-10-2012)

  7. #55
    threechooks's Avatar
    threechooks is offline If my spelling annoys you that's your problem.... I have better things to do than proofread !
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    1,654
    Thanks
    402
    Thanked
    420
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Jinxed View Post
    i also am speaking generally here. im no stronger than your average woman (meaning i don't do any weight training or anything), dh is strong but on a more average level (again no weight or strength training), nothing exceptional.
    The average 14 year old boy is stronger than the average 25 year old woman. That is a fact.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to threechooks For This Useful Post:

    Deserama  (27-10-2012)

  9. #56
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    868
    Thanks
    345
    Thanked
    264
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Re: Differences in 'abuse'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Ok then how would you suggest I deal with my children? When my 9 year old hits my 13 year old and he hits her back...ok she deserves it? But when she hit him (yes it's wrong) She hit him...yeh it probably hurt too, but his response is to stand over her while cowers in the corner while he lays into her. I'm actually tearing up thinking about the fear my 9 year old little girl feels when he's doing this.

    Does she deserve this? Just because she hit him first?

    Do you see my dilema?

    ETA - I'm literally in fear too, while this is happening...because I can see a potential for him to REALLY hurt her...whereas her pititful punches did virtually nothing to him. I have to restain him from hitting her. And yes he is punished more severly than she is...would this be wrong?
    If your 13 year old turned around and smacked her ONCE back as a do not hit me response yes the other child deserved it, there is a major difference between hitting ONCE back as retaliation and 'laying into' someone, if i hit my.dp and he slapped me back i deserve it, if i hit.my.dp and he punched the **** out of me while.i was laying on the ground NO i did not deserve that

    Sent from my MB526 using BubHub

  10. #57
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    41
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked
    17
    Reviews
    0

    Default Differences in 'abuse'.

    Quote Originally Posted by threechooks View Post
    The average 14 year old boy is stronger than the average 25 year old woman. That is a fact.
    so?

  11. #58
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,848
    Thanks
    6,200
    Thanked
    16,892
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Kirby star View Post
    If your 13 year old turned around and smacked her ONCE back as a do not hit me response yes the other child deserved it, there is a major difference between hitting ONCE back as retaliation and 'laying into' someone, if i hit my.dp and he slapped me back i deserve it, if i hit.my.dp and he punched the **** out of me while.i was laying on the ground NO i did not deserve that

    Sent from my MB526 using BubHub
    I agree with this

  12. #59
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    5,687
    Thanks
    1,089
    Thanked
    4,057
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Yes but she's already been beaten (he wasn't beaten by her...just hit)...hence she's already had her consequence AND SOME. Do you understand?
    I don't agree with hitting as a consequence, or with siblings dishing out consequences.

    It's one of my exemptions from my natural consequences ideals, but she IS learning she shouldn't hit people or they might bash her. I don't think that should be a lesson learnt like this though.

  13. #60
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Toowoomba
    Posts
    8,747
    Thanks
    2,851
    Thanked
    1,440
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    Erm.... I strongly disagree with this unless you‘re using violence to teach your kids that violence is not okay.

    Sent from my HUAWEI-U8850 using BubHub
    Er noooooo That's not what I'm teaching but you need to understand the scenario here. He's called her a fat retard or something, so her initial reaction is to say "Shut up Rhys!" Then walk up and hit him in the arm!

    Then his automatic response, with all his strength and testosterone is to stand over her while she cowers in the corner and beat into her, swearing and calling her names. Once he pushed her so hard, that she was slammed into my bogan coffee table and hit her head...she was ok but she was also beside herself with FEAR. Do you understand. And yet I'm expected to punish her the same as my son? The balance is wrong. Therefore I think the punishment should be different. Like when you put kids on timeout a 3 year old would be on time out for 3 minutes and a 4 year old for 4 minutes etc...

    It was that moment that I realised that he could have KILLED HER! Do you understand. Yes she hit him, but that would not have actually dont much to him...but he pushed her into a coffee table and could have KILLED HER. The balance of power is that he is bigger and stronger and more capable than she is. And yes whoever said that a 14 year old is stronger than a 25 year old...I'm telling you now very soon I won't be able to restain him anymore! I simply won't be able to have the strength to stop my son from killing my daughter, because she hit him first!

    (Things are getting better around here BTW but I had to call the big guns...,his father and his step father...so I think he's starting to mature and to understand the enormity of what he was doing. At the same token my 9 year old seems to lash out less too...funnily enough)


 
Closed Thread
Page 6 of 16 FirstFirst ... 45678 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Cycle of abuse.. **trigger warning** child abuse
    By Ishtyban in forum General Chat
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 05-09-2012, 07:53
  2. Differences in babies 38-42 weeks
    By mummyJ in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 13-08-2012, 20:01
  3. Cycle Differences
    By Jaebyrd in forum IVF
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 05-04-2012, 11:29

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Fridge-To-Go Australasia
Xmas with a NEW Fridge-to-go Lunch Bag! Fridge-To-Go Australasia
Fridge-to-go 8 hour cooler bags are ideal under the Christmas tree! Now in modern lunch bag designs - fill them with toys and chocolate to make parents and kids happy! Stay super cool and eat healthy and fresh food all summer long!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
The Fix Program Sydney CBD and Broadway
Pregnancy and women's health physio, pregnancy and new mum Pilates classes taught by our physios for you and bub. Pregnancy back and pelvic pain. Also, we treat postnatal and women of all ages. Incontinence, prolapse, sexual and pelvic pain.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!