Treating your daughter more softly when she hits your son is not doing her any favours In the long run. Perhaps your son senses you arent really disciplining your daughter and is hitting her harder as a result. He has a right to ensure his sister doesnt keep hitting him, especially if his parents arent really addressing it.
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It's one of my exemptions from my natural consequences ideals, but she IS learning she shouldn't hit people or they might bash her. I don't think that should be a lesson learnt like this though.
Then his automatic response, with all his strength and testosterone is to stand over her while she cowers in the corner and beat into her, swearing and calling her names. Once he pushed her so hard, that she was slammed into my bogan coffee table and hit her head...she was ok but she was also beside herself with FEAR. Do you understand. And yet I'm expected to punish her the same as my son? The balance is wrong. Therefore I think the punishment should be different. Like when you put kids on timeout a 3 year old would be on time out for 3 minutes and a 4 year old for 4 minutes etc...
It was that moment that I realised that he could have KILLED HER! Do you understand. Yes she hit him, but that would not have actually dont much to him...but he pushed her into a coffee table and could have KILLED HER. The balance of power is that he is bigger and stronger and more capable than she is. And yes whoever said that a 14 year old is stronger than a 25 year old...I'm telling you now very soon I won't be able to restain him anymore! I simply won't be able to have the strength to stop my son from killing my daughter, because she hit him first!
(Things are getting better around here BTW but I had to call the big guns...,his father and his step father...so I think he's starting to mature and to understand the enormity of what he was doing. At the same token my 9 year old seems to lash out less too...funnily enough)
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