Closed Thread
Page 5 of 16 FirstFirst ... 3456715 ... LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 159
  1. #41
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Toowoomba
    Posts
    8,747
    Thanks
    2,851
    Thanked
    1,440
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by FiveInTheBed View Post
    IMO..

    ...abuse is abuse is abuse.
    Yes and I agree,...as I said in my disclaimer but if you read further in the case of the two children in my home that I'm having trouble with...there IS grey area and it's this grey area I'd like to discuss.

  2. #42
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    41
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked
    17
    Reviews
    0

    Default Differences in 'abuse'.

    i think its a mental thing in your example op, your daughter would be able to block him, she just doesnt believe she can. a lot of people are intimidated by size, it is human nature, human instinct, which generally triggers fight or flight. your daughter is choosing to flee, but she CAN fight.
    Last edited by Jinxed; 27-10-2012 at 19:54.

  3. #43
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,517
    Thanks
    432
    Thanked
    3,246
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Re: Differences in 'abuse'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Yes and I agree,...as I said in my disclaimer but if you read further in the case of the two children in my home that I'm having trouble with...there IS grey area and it's this grey area I'd like to discuss.
    Also, consider the impact your reaction is having on your song? He can clearly see the discrepency in your reaction, so wouldnt you be worried youre teaching him its not as serious if hes being abused?

    Sent from my HUAWEI-U8850 using BubHub

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Jennaisme For This Useful Post:

    BlissedOut  (27-10-2012)

  5. #44
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Toowoomba
    Posts
    8,747
    Thanks
    2,851
    Thanked
    1,440
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Kirby star View Post
    The law doesn't see it that way however, being a female doesn't give you the right to attack someone, neither does being male.
    If you attack someone and they reasonably thump.you back you deserve it.



    Sent from my MB526 using BubHub
    Ok then how would you suggest I deal with my children? When my 9 year old hits my 13 year old and he hits her back...ok she deserves it? But when she hit him (yes it's wrong) She hit him...yeh it probably hurt too, but his response is to stand over her while cowers in the corner while he lays into her. I'm actually tearing up thinking about the fear my 9 year old little girl feels when he's doing this.

    Does she deserve this? Just because she hit him first?

    Do you see my dilema?

    ETA - I'm literally in fear too, while this is happening...because I can see a potential for him to REALLY hurt her...whereas her pititful punches did virtually nothing to him. I have to restain him from hitting her. And yes he is punished more severly than she is...would this be wrong?
    Last edited by Deserama; 27-10-2012 at 19:55.

  6. #45
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    2,612
    Thanks
    2,724
    Thanked
    864
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by FiveInTheBed View Post
    IMO..

    ...abuse is abuse is abuse.

    I agree with this. My reaction is the same no matter who hits who in my house. While my older child is faster, my younger child is stronger.

    I don't want to reinforce to my children, by my reaction, that the consequences will be greater for one of the children.

    Otherwise the message they hear may be one at the end of the day is not the correct message. My correct message is that hitting is hitting no matter who does it!

  7. #46
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,848
    Thanks
    6,201
    Thanked
    16,895
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    I think what D is asking (and correct me I'm wrong? lol) is it ok for her older, bigger son to hit his sister back when she hits him?

  8. #47
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Toowoomba
    Posts
    8,747
    Thanks
    2,851
    Thanked
    1,440
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    Also, consider the impact your reaction is having on your song? He can clearly see the discrepency in your reaction, so wouldnt you be worried youre teaching him its not as serious if hes being abused?

    Sent from my HUAWEI-U8850 using BubHub
    Ok then how would you suggest I deal with my children? When my 9 year old hits my 13 year old and he hits her back...ok she deserves it? But when she hit him (yes it's wrong) She hit him...yeh it probably hurt too, but his response is to stand over her while cowers in the corner while he lays into her. I'm actually tearing up thinking about the fear my 9 year old little girl feels when he's doing this.

    Does she deserve this? Just because she hit him first?

    Do you see my dilema?

    ETA - I'm literally in fear too, while this is happening...because I can see a potential for him to REALLY hurt her...whereas her pititful punches did virtually nothing to him. I have to restain him from hitting her. And yes he is punished more severly than she is...would this be wrong?

  9. #48
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    2,612
    Thanks
    2,724
    Thanked
    864
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Ok then how would you suggest I deal with my children? When my 9 year old hits my 13 year old and he hits her back...ok she deserves it? But when she hit him (yes it's wrong) She hit him...yeh it probably hurt too, but his response is to stand over her while cowers in the corner while he lays into her. I'm actually tearing up thinking about the fear my 9 year old little girl feels when he's doing this.

    Does she deserve this? Just because she hit him first?

    Do you see my dilema?

    ETA - I'm literally in fear too, while this is happening...because I can see a potential for him to REALLY hurt her...whereas her pititful punches did virtually nothing to him. I have to restain him from hitting her. And yes he is punished more severly than she is...would this be wrong?
    Of course she does not deserve it. But the consequences should be the same for BOTH if they are hitting. They should both be shown that neither behaviour is right.

  10. #49
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Toowoomba
    Posts
    8,747
    Thanks
    2,851
    Thanked
    1,440
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I think what D is asking (and correct me I'm wrong? lol) is it ok for her older, bigger son to hit his sister back when she hits him?
    Yeh...not just hit her even...but lay into her with bigger punches than she could even muster!

  11. #50
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,517
    Thanks
    432
    Thanked
    3,246
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Re: Differences in 'abuse'.

    For some reason it wouldn‘t let me quote, Dilirium.

    Even a nine year old understands cause and effect. She knows that if she hits her brother, she‘ll get hit back. Just like her brother knows if he hits his sister back, his mum will come down harder on him than her.

    Sent from my HUAWEI-U8850 using BubHub


 
Closed Thread
Page 5 of 16 FirstFirst ... 3456715 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Cycle of abuse.. **trigger warning** child abuse
    By Ishtyban in forum General Chat
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 05-09-2012, 07:53
  2. Differences in babies 38-42 weeks
    By mummyJ in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 13-08-2012, 20:01
  3. Cycle Differences
    By Jaebyrd in forum IVF
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 05-04-2012, 11:29

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Pyjamas.com.au
With so many gorgeous brands and styles for every season, our pyjamas, nighties, robes, sleepsuits and sleeping bags are lovely for lights out and perfect for lazy days. Get 10% off first order using code bubhub. Be quick offer ends 31/12/16.
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Little Rugby NSW
Catch, weave, chase, run, but most of all have FUN! Little Rugby runs a NSW network of fun, safe and non-contact footy classes for BOYS and GIRLS aged 2yrs – 7th birthday.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!