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  1. #31
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    Default Differences in 'abuse'.

    op it has nothing to do with strength, its how you fight. think police officers. should women not be police officers because they are smaller/weaker? an average woman does have the ability to cause harm against a male that would generally be deemed stronger than her.
    are self defense classes pointless then? because a man is stronger than a woman and a woman is kidding herself into believing she can fight off a man that is trying to rape her?
    Last edited by Jinxed; 27-10-2012 at 19:48.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Renesme View Post
    Men are so much more trapped then women are if they are in abusive relationships because they can't get help from anyone. They can't talk to their friends because imagine the teasing/bullying he'd receive?
    I would say trapped for different reasons, but def not more trapped. IMO men are trapped bc of the perceived embarrassment that a 'girl was beating him up'. His mates sniggering on what a 'wuss' he is Women are trapped from fear often. Fear of retribution. Fear of him running off with the kids. Fear for her life. I'm sure sadly there are men out there fearing for their life as well mind you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Renesme View Post
    Just out of curiousity then.. how do you feel about a woman who has been abused for YEARS by her husband and then turns around and eventually murders him? I would guess you would have no empathy for her? Lock her up and throw away the key?
    No I empathise for sure.

    A guy can only put up with so much. It would still hurt them to be punched and kicked all the time no matter how big or macho they are.
    Yes, but the way I see it is that they have the strength and the capabilities to stop the woman, whereas the woman rarely has the strength and the capabilities to stop the man. I've seen it with my 9 and 13 year old...she hits on him...and he is actually able to stop her, when he hits on her, she's cowering in the corner while he's laying into her. I have major issues with these two fighting (as you can tell) so seeing this happen in my house everyday....the feelings that run through me are different than what I know to be right as far as DV. I would hazard a guess if any of you were in the same situation you'd be fighting the same feelings?

    What about rape? Do you believe it is worse for a woman to be raped by a man or a man to be raped by a woman? Is it okay for a woman to rape a man?
    I can't really comment on this because I don't wish to be attacked, I had the same discussion with my dh recently and it didn't end well so I won't go there. Would rather just stick to physical abuse ATM as this is what I'm experiencing in my home with my children almost on a daily basis

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirby star View Post
    As long as the lad doesn't use undue force the law sees it as okay,
    It's like if a bloke breaks into your house and starts hitting you with his hands.you cant take to him til.he is severely hurt with a baseball bat (if you shoot an intruder in your home you can be done for using excessive force if the other party does not.have a.gun)

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    Yeh I know...but that's the problem I'm having. That the man is stronger therefore wouldn't it be equivalent to one person having a baseball bat and the other a twig?? That the discrepency I'm seeing.

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    Default Re: Differences in 'abuse'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Yeh I know...but that's the problem I'm having. That the man is stronger therefore wouldn't it be equivalent to one person having a baseball bat and the other a twig?? That the discrepency I'm seeing.
    The law doesn't see it that way however, being a female doesn't give you the right to attack someone, neither does being male.
    If you attack someone and they reasonably thump.you back you deserve it.



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    IMO..

    ...abuse is abuse is abuse.

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    Default Differences in 'abuse'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Yeh I know...but that's the problem I'm having. That the man is stronger therefore wouldn't it be equivalent to one person having a baseball bat and the other a twig?? That the discrepency I'm seeing.
    not really, anyone can use a weapon, not everyone knows how to fight. it isnt about strength, its about knowledge.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jinxed View Post
    op it has nothing to do with strength, its how you fight. think police officers. should women not be police officers because they are smaller/weaker? an average woman does have the ability to cause harm against a male than could generally be deemed stronger than her.
    are self defense classes pointless then? because a man is stronger than a woman and a woman is kidding herself into believing she can fight off a man that is trying to rape her?
    I don't know. I'm not talking about self defence...and for argument's sake, I keep bringing up my children...my 13 year old son being stronger and bigger than my 9 year old daughter...they BOTH do martial arts and have the same coloured belts, yet when she hits on him, he's able to deflect her hits and when he's hitting her she's cowering in the corner and he's standing over her. Clearly his size and strength are his advantage DESPITE her having had self defence classes.

    You're looking at the extremes I'm talking more in general here. My husband actually works for the police (civil) and although he has the tools to be able to restrain a man bigger and stronger than him, he still calls upon back up when he feels that it's beyond his capabilities.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jinxed View Post
    not really, anyone can use a weapon, not everyone knows how to fight. it isnt about strength, its about knowledge.
    That is true. I lift heavier weights than half the guys at my gym. For a girl I'm pretty strong. I suspect I could do some damage to my DH if I wanted.

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    Default Differences in 'abuse'.

    If a woman hits a man, she can't expect him to not hit her back.

    People hit out of anger, frustration, control etc
    Before hitting someone they don't spend 1/2 hour weighing up the pros and cons, who is stronger etc.

    If a woman hits a man and then complains when she is hit back well she's a self indulgent princess.


 
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