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  1. #1
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    Default Going about discipline...

    Hi ladies,
    I'm hoping to get advice on how to have a structured discipline routine that works. My toddler is beginning to become defiant. Has even begun to hit in the height of frustration. Now, I'm not a smacker and don't believe that hitting the toddler will teach that hitting is not on.
    Ive tried time out but it is hard to be consistent as we have 2 homes already (here and dads) and 2 daycares as well. On top of the fact that until very recently there have been a lot of changes (separated 7 months ago, moved to my mums, started our current custody arrangement, I studied FT and the. Began work and moved houses in to a house with a housemate (who is wonderful and the toddler adores).

    Now that we are stable, I'm in steady work and we won't be moving for a long time, I want to get a serious routine down pat with not only eating meals but discipline.

    Im hoping someone may have some tips to share that the child understood and that worked.

    TIA xxx

  2. #2
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    Have you tried any parenting books? I've got copy of "Politically Incorrect Parenting", which has some good tips for discipline. I haven't tried them yet, but its based on reward systems.

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    Default Re: Going about discipline...

    I say watch Supernanny on thursday nights at 9.30pm. I think she teaches parents to persist and be consistent, and the folliw on from that, is that kids know what to expect when they do something wrong, so they think about the concequence before they misbehave.


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    Default Going about discipline...

    How old is he? I know with my DS ( just turned 2) time out would not work as he does not understand it!

    I find it's better to be consistent - get down to his level - say we don't hit people - throw things etc remove him and distract him onto doing something else , just be consistent and praise good behavior ( we have stamps when he shares/ puts his toys away/puts dishes in sink etc)

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    The basic thing to do is to have consequences for bad behaviour that are age appropriate (that's the thing that I find hard to work out) and also rewards (age appropriate again) for good behaviour. And consistency is the key. You won't necessary be able to achieve consistency between your house & your ex's, but at least at your house having the same set of rules as you had the day before and you'll have tomorrow matters.

    So, as you've said it's partly about expectations and routine too - eg "come on darling, it's time to clean your teeth, you know we always clean your teeth before you go to bed".

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    Default Re: Going about discipline...

    I have a 2 yr old step daughter and we have issues with behaviour every now and then due to the two different houses thing. It can be hard and you can't do anything about what happens when he's at your ex's but what we tell her is something like 'remember we always do... When ur at dads' or 'we never do... Here'. You don't want him to think that what dad does is wrong (well u might but that's for the chn to work out themselves) so u just make it clear that this is what happens at your house. Consistency is the most important thing. He'll learn what to expect and that will gradually change behavior. So if every time he hits/bites ect he gets sat down or taken away from what he is doing he'll start to connect the two things. It can take a long time to happen though. We only see my step daughter 2 days a fortnight but she knows the rules at our house though occasionally needs reminders so if you have him most of the time it will be easier for him to make the connection. Good luck.

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    Default Going about discipline...

    I think at 2 some kids still don't really understand, so sometimes distraction is still a good method.
    What ever method is used I think it's important to be consistent.


 

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