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  1. #1
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    Default When and how to teach "stranger danger"?

    (I'll preface this by saying I'm exhausted and my brain is not workig very well at the moment, hence the below)

    Yesterday, I tried to teach my 4yo about stranger danger, as he has been going into the garden without me (when I'm breastfeeding) and I am worried he might go outside the gate.

    He understands why he can't go on the road, but I wanted him to understand why he needs to be wary if anybody approaches him, or he is tempted to wander outside.

    I told him that he needs to stay inside the yard, and not to go with any strangers. He asked me why. I said that somebody might take him. He asked who might take him. I stupidly said a bad person might take him. He is already anxious and this put him on edge and he kept asking who these bad people are and what bad people do to little boys.

    Obviously, I effed up the stranger danger talk, but I do need to address it again at some stage, so what do other people do? He doesn't go to school until 2014, so maybe it's a conversation you have before school rather than at 4? I'm really rubbish at these dialogues.

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    No ideas here, but just subbing because I have the exact same issue as you. I have no idea how to teach them this stuff without scaring the *** out of them.

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    Subbing.
    DS (5) is such a social butterfly and is always striking up conversations with strangers whether it be at the park or the pool. On a recent camping trip he was allowed to walk by himself from the camp kitchen to the camp site to bring me things and take things back. I was watching him and he chatted to every person who he walked past. I told him that he shouldn't talk to people he doesn't know without me or his Dad present and he said to me "but they wanted to talk to me". He's such a happy, chatty little boy and I don't want to dampen his outlook on the world.

    (MsM - See you tomorrow at the pool?)

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    I think I usually say stuff like "don't talk to strangers unless you're with mum, and definitely don't go with anyone without asking me first. Strangers might look at you and think you are so great that they might want to take you home with them instead, but then we'd never see each other again and that would be so very sad, and you never know if they'd be a nice stranger or a mean stranger".

    Also make sure you never say 'he' or 'the bad man', ask them what they think a mean stranger would look like, then point out that a mean stranger could be a man or a lady, ugly or pretty, they could also pretend to be nice but really are mean. I also did scenarios of things like "if a nice lady says her puppy has run away and can you come with me to help find him", you yell NO really loud and run to me or a teacher etc, "if a man parks next to you in a car and says he's just bought this really awesome toy would you like to come look at it", "if someone says hey little dude your mum said it's ok if you come and play games at my house", "if someone says 'I am a policeman so you have to come with me and I'll keep you safe".
    Lots of scenarios like that I find to be really helpful.

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    Default When and how to teach "stranger danger"?

    DS is only 2 so does not properly understand strangers but I'm going to do what my sister did, he is also very sociable so we encourage him to pay the coffee lady, ask the waiter for a drink please, say hello to cute old ladies that say hello to him in the street etc because as a police friend once told her you need to get your kids used to strangers ( as they are always around) so if a weirdo comes along they will learn to recognize that they may be a bit off? I hope that makes sense!
    Oh and always if they get lost or need help and can't find me to go and find another mummy with kids and she will help him ( or obviously a policeman )
    When he understands a bit better I'll go over not being allowed to walk away/get in cars/ etc and that a grown up will never ask a child for help ( help find my dog etc) so if they do to just ignore them and come and find me or ask another mummy for help

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    Default Re: When and how to teach "stranger danger"?

    I have been talking to my almost 3yr old DS about this. We tell him that he is not to go with anyone unless he checks with Mummy or Daddy first. Even people he knows. When he asks why I explain that I need to know where he is because it's my job to keep him safe and in case I need to tell him something like it's dinnertime (figured that is an easy thing for him to understand atm)

    We also tell him that a stranger is somebody he doesn't know and even if they tell him their name he shouldn't talk to them without mummy or daddy with him because just knowing someone's name doesn't mean you know if they are good or bad.

    He's quite good at telling people now that he can't talk to strangers without mummy or Daddy but he hasn't quite grasped the concept in practice e.g. he will still talk to people without checking with me.

    He is only 1 month off being 3 though so I'm teaching it to him gradually and I don't want him to think the world is full of scary people either so I choose my words carefully.

    Sent from my GT-I9300T using BubHub

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    Subbing. Also trying to find the line between stranger danger and totally freaking my son out.

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    I also forgot to add that I never put my kids first names on things that are visible to the public, for eg, hat, bags, drink bottles. Then someone could easily look at their name and say "hey Billy, mum said to come with me, it's ok we're not strangers, how else would I know your name?".
    So for eg their drink bottles that sit in the outside pocket of their bags I write *Initial. Surname*.
    This was actually recommended to us by the principal at a school orientation.

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    Default Re: When and how to teach "stranger danger"?

    CMF my son doesn't have his name on things, other than last name on his drink bottle when he is at playgroup but he is constantly telling people "Hello, my name's ..... .... ...." I don't want to discourage him because he is so proud that he knows his whole name and how to introduce himself but I have really tried to teach him that even if they know your name/you know theirs they could still be bad.

    Sent from my GT-I9300T using BubHub

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    Default When and how to teach "stranger danger"?

    Subbing - I need to start raising this with my 3 year old.


 

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