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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    See I was a child in that type of family. I grew up with very little and was raised that you are thankful for what is given. I think my poor upbringing has strongly formed my opinions on this particular subject. So in the case you gave, if they are so low income they can't afford a bike, surely any toys/clothes/art stuff would be very appreciated?

    I don't mean to sound nasty but what happened to just appreciating what is given? I've gotten to the point I dread some social events now bc there is always cash being asked for at every turn...
    That's fair enough. I guess as my kids get older I get less hassled by the things people do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WineTime View Post
    Its tough when people don't agree with you, isn't it
    Not at all. I make a very good living arguing with people. It was your comment about laughing at the poem. I imagine in that case you'd make your feelings known given you felt the need to say it here. In the context of this thread, did it need to be said? I just found it rude. Nothing anyone else has said disagreeing with me was rude.
    Last edited by Sonja; 24-10-2012 at 19:13.

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  4. #43
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    Frankly, I'd be FAR more offended knowing that someone had just thrown out a gift or regifted something that I'd taken time, energy and thought into purchasing for their child because they either didn't want or didn't need the item.

    If someone asked for money (in a nice way) rather than gifts I'd appreciate if they said what the money was going towards such as swimming lessons, dancing lessons, football club membership or anything similar.

    If they didn't do that then I'd be reluctant to give cash and would probably give a present anyway. But if the parent said on the invitation "Please no presents, but should you REALLY want to give something a contribution to his/her swimming lessons would be very appreciated and is a gift that will continue to give for the rest of DS/DD's life!".

    I think a lot of people think that asking for money is gauche, but honestly for me the joy in giving a present is knowing that the person appreciates and can use a gift and is grateful when they remember being given it. If my gift is helping a child to learn a valuable skill or enjoy a hobby then I see that as far better than a toy that might be thrown away in a few months time .

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    I don't like it at all! Sorry! I think if a child has too much can't some older toys go to charity.

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    Yep, I would consider it rude, only because you're asking for money rather than asking for no gifts at all.

    I hate wishing well poems for the same reason. I don't mind the "please don't worry about presents, we already have enough" but I hate the "ones that mention the words CASH or MONEY" - I think they're awful. People will always give you something and not everyone is in a position to give cash.

    If you write "please no gifts, we have enough" people will get the idea and will probably give money or vouchers.. personally I wouldn't go to a 3 year old's birthday if it was asking for money... that's just me though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eko View Post

    If someone asked for money (in a nice way) rather than gifts I'd appreciate if they said what the money was going towards such as swimming lessons, dancing lessons, football club membership or anything similar.
    OP, I agree with the above that it'd be better if you put what it is they were saving towards. But I think that if it's something like lessons or after school type activities then sorry but I think that should be the parents responsibility to pay! And what happens the next term? Will the parent need to ask for another collection to fund that term as well? If you can't afford xyz then maybe not having a party to fund paying for xyz would be better.

    Infact the more I think about it the more I don't like the idea, especially for a young child's birthday.

    Personally my mum/XIL's always ask what my kids want and if they want money to choose something themselves. Lately they have been getting money which grandies think is great because then the kids tell them so happily what they bought with the money. But for all other friends and family, I think they should be able to have fun in choosing a gift for the child.

    If you really don't want loads of toys etc, I like PP's idea of donating towards a child related charity.

  9. #47
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    I certainly wouldn't be offended by an invitation that included a request for money, but I would consider it a little impolite.

    I appreciate that you don't want to own a mountain of toys and because of that, I would simply write, 'no gifts please' on the invite and hope that people respect your request.

    To receive a gift is a privilege. I think we are losing sight of this in accepting that the request for money is appropriate.

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    Default Birthday party invitations - do you think its rude re: gifts?

    I don't think it's rude at all.

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    Default Re: Birthday party invitations - do you think its rude re: gifts?

    I'm with the suggestion of "please no presents your presence is all we ask" if you don't want anything cluttering. And you might find people bring cards with cash.

    Though I'm also of the though it's not about what *you* want. It's fun for kids giving gifts and receiving at parties. Maybe suggest more "disposable" toys so you don't add to your mountain of clutter (I know your pain lol) so put on the invite "please come, no need to bring a gift, but if you really want to bring something *child* would love something crafty, like colouring books, stickers, play dough etc"

    Id maybe not be offended if I got an invite indicating a preference for cash but I'd not do it myself and I'd not give any cash.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub

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    While I get your reasoning, I just think nothing about gifts should ever be put on invites in general, especially kids party invites. You're being invited to a party, not a gift giving event, if that makes sense...?

    I always have hated invites that mention gifts and money... It seems déclassé to me.

    Also, kids like to open gifts, no matter what it is.

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