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    Question Birthday party invitations - do you think its rude re: gifts?

    Would you consider it rude to include on a child's birthday invitation something to the effect of gifts aren't expected but if people did feel they wanted to give something then money to put towards an activity for the child would be appreciated?

    My kids already have more toys than they need. We have a small house and really struggle for space so just shudder at the thought of more toys to find storage for

    Personally I don't have a problem with someone suggesting gift ideas (infact I appreciate it!!) as I never know what to buy, and being a practical person on a budget I like to know I'm not wasting money - that my gift is needed / useful.

    What does everyone else think? And how would you word it on an invite?

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    Don't put it on the invite. I do find it offensive if people say 'give us money' (in any form) rather than gifts. I prefer to give gifts that I choose, usually after speaking to the person (or the parent) about what they like/dislike. If someone asks for present suggestions then say 'we are going to x and we'd love money to go towards the ticket cost'/etc. A new book, some playdough, a sticker sheet, a DVD, etc don't take up lots of room and yet can give the giver the chance to choose something!

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    I wouldnt find it rude. I sometimes prefer to give money in a card, especially if its for a child that I dont know well (like a school friend of DS) and have no idea what toys they do/dont have and what the are/arent into.

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    I wouldn't find it rude, but I wouldn't write it myself because I'd feel bad. I guess because I don't want there to be an assumption that a party = give me something. I love hosting parties and do them for my kids fun on the day, so to write anything about the presents is assuming people should give gifts and I don't want to give that impression, as I really just want the company on the day! I have been offended once when I was told on an invite "Johnny has so many toys he doesn't want, so this year we are telling people what to get him. He would like any starwars pack,and needs jeans in a size 6, target brand is ok" - so obviously it was personalised and each person had a different gift on their invite to bring. I ended up not going because I was slightly put out and don't know them very well, and that is a heck of an expensive present for a kid I don't really know!

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    Thing is, who really goes to a kids birthday party without a present for the child? I certainly wouldnt. Adult parties, sure.....but a kids party, you bring the kid either a gift or money. So I dont think its rude to expect that people will bring SOMETHING...people arent going to be surprised that they need to bring the child something for his birthday.
    DS got invited to Halloween party (school friend I dont know) then 2 days after I RSVP I got a txt from the mother saying it IS also the childs birthday....now I have to go to the shop and get a card and put some money in it....no way would I knowingly turn up to a kids birthday party without a gift/card with money.

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    Yeah I agree, and I wouldn't be offended if I got an invite like that (except in the case of being told exactly what to bring like above!). I just couldn't do it myself and said why in a long winded way haha

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    Default Re: Birthday party invitations - do you think its rude re: gifts?

    I wouldn't say offended is how I would feel... But kids parties shouldn't be about what YOU would like your child to receive... It's about the gift giver choosing a present and giving it.

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    Not rude at all to me. Id appreciate it!

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    I don't think it's exactly "rude", but TBH I would probably just say something to the effect of "no presents please, ____ would just like to celebrate his/her birthday by having fun with you!". You would probably still get people who would slip money into a card, in that case.

    ETA: "rude" isn't the right word, but IMO "presumptuous" describes it better.

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    Default Birthday party invitations - do you think its rude re: gifts?

    For DDs 1st birthday we just sent out email invitations and included a link to a fundraising page I set up through everyday hero. We said on the email that DD has been so lucky to have received many generous gifts since she arrived a year ago, so instead of a gift we encouraged a donation to the Starlight Foundation. We kept it all pretty casual and using the donation page meant people could choose whether or not to give money, and could either leave a message or do it anonymously.

    It was a good way to make guests feel like they did something good and we didn't end up with piles of unwanted toys!

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