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  1. #1
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    Default Please give your opinion if I did something wrong

    I gave birth 10 days ago after my waters breaking. I had to be induced as I was positive for gbs. Had an epidural and the labour only progressed to 7cm dilation. They did lots of test to see if baby was in distress and by the end his head was already swollen and they thought it would be too much stress for him so I had to have an emergency c section. I asked the doctor if it was because I opted for an epidural quite early on and she said no. After the op she came and said everything was really "tight" and they needed forceps to get him out. She always said I would need to have a caesarian if I fell pregnant again. I asked her the same question when Caesarian was being mentioned before op and she said no not always. So my first question is did I affect labour progressing by having an Epi? Btw I'm 26, first baby, and had no complications during pregnancy and have big hips but apparently that's irrelevant!
    So after the birth we both were fine , he didn't need any assistance and scored 9"s on his (sorry forgot the name agar? ) tests. He weighed 3.666kg.
    Had skin to skin I think an hr after op. I can't even remember but I think he did bf a bit. So this was a saturday night 6.00pm time of birth. Next 3 days I was in hospital most times I bf I had midwife there either assisting or observing. All said he was latching on fine and I was doing everything right.
    He was really unsettled but I was told and read day 2 and 3 is normal as they wait for your milk to come in. On the Tuesday I asked the question when I was to go home and they said I could go now. I chose to stay to that afternoon so full 72 hrs after birth.
    His lips were so dry and he had hardly any saliva. I also asked them to do a jaundice test as his eye whites started to turn yellow.
    After they said he's fine I was sent home. The next morning midwife came to visit and weighed him and he lost 18% of birth weight so we had to go back to hospital. Did test s and he had high sodium due to dehydration. 164 ( normal 135-145). He had to go to special care and placed on Iv drip. He was also given formula and I was expressing Breast milk. I was only expressing 20-30 ml. (when he was home that night I was offering him breast every 2 -3 hrs or whenever he cried).
    So hospital said my milk just must be taking longer, maybe because of c-section. I came home again on day 8. His sodium came down and when left hospital his weight was back to 3.550kg so he is fine.
    I'm now feeding him ebm and formula top ups . I'm also taking moltilium which I hope will increase my supply.
    No one indicated I did something wrong or admitted maybe they made a mistake. I asked why they didn't weigh him before we left but they said they don't weigh until day 4. Is that true?
    Sorry for the long post in just trying to deal with the fact I had a healthy baby which then became dehydrated as he wasn't getting anything. Even know he would suck on my Breast for half an hr. he wont breastfeed now. I've tried nipple shields, offering him before and after feeds. I'm praying that when I get more milk he will again. Do you think he will?
    Also at the 20 week scan was told he was a girl! What a surprise. So pretty much nothing went to plan. I feel like a failure as I couldn't even given birth to him naturally, now can't even feed him naturally. I eat healthy, weighed75kg before falling pregnancy so I had extra reserves to produce milk. Again I'd appreciate honest opinions and won't be offended by anything you say.
    Thank you

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    I'm not good at replying from my mobile but i just wanted to say that after my caesar it took 5 days for my milk to come in and only 3 after a vb. Apparently this is quite normal. Also at the hospital i go to it is routine to weigh bubs on day 3 or before they go home and they won't let you go home if bub has lost more than 10% of birth weight. Will jump on again later and write more.

  3. #3
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    Busy-Bee is offline Offending people since before Del :D
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    Excellent advice from Missie_Mack.
    I need to dash but jut wanted to reiterate, you did nothing wrong!

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    Everything missiemack said is totally correct.
    I also had a caesarean and my bubba lost too much weight, it just happens, in hospital we supplemented with formula. When I came home I had a lactation specialist come around and we introduced a lactation aid which was basically a tube that run from a bottle of formula and sat next to my nipple as bubba sucked.
    i took blessed thistle and fenugreek herbal supplements, drank fenugreek tea and made lactation cookies. At about week 5 I was able to go onto breast feeding alone ... No more formula. Bubba is now a beautiful 4 month old chubby baby. We enjoy breast feeding and all the early stress is now a distant memory.

    Life rarely goes to plan ... So relax ... As long as both you and your baby are currently healthy

    if you can breast feed fantastic, if it works out that you can't it doesn't matter ... Your baby will be happy with whatever happens as long as you give him lots and lots of love! At the end of the day it's the love that matters.

    hope it gets easier for you and that you cut yourself some slack.

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    Firstly - massive congrats!!!!

    You have done absolutely nothing wrong. Missie Mack has already given excellent advice.

    My situation 9 months ago was very similar but nobody at the time told me that my post partum haemmorage and emergency c-section could impact milk supply.

    This is not your fault, it is a series of events which have happened which were beyond your control.

    There is no such thing as failure in this scenario.

    FYI - I was also positive I was having a girl and now have a beautiful boy

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    Yes sometimes having an epi can cause things to slow down...sometimes it doesn't. I had one when I had my first and had no issues. Does that mean YOU did the wrong thing? No! What it means is that perhaps the medical establishment didn't give you enough information to make an informed decision. Also they do have a tendency to coerce those who are in a vulnerable positions, such as women in active labour. That's where THEY let you down.

    But all is not lost! You do better when you know better and now you have the opportunity to research these things for next time so you can go in there armed with knowledge!

    Meanwhile don't beat yourself up over it...it's really not your fault, the whole 'labour' thing has been made into a business so if it weren't an epidural it may have been something else...so don't worry about it. What's done is done.

    As for breastfeeding...I agree with the others on that one.

    Congratulations on the birth of your baby

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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    OP no you did nothing 'wrong'. You followed the directions of your care provider.

    I remember feeling like such a failure after my emergency cesarean. I remember feeling like I was a failure of a woman because I couldn't even birth right... And then I failed to breastfeed... And then I ended up with PND and felt like a weak little piece of crap... It was horrible and it took me a while to realise I did nothing wrong... I simply did the best I could and thats all any of us can do.

    16 months after my cesarean though I gave birth to my daughter naturally, she was on the biggish size and it was very healing for me... So you can always look into that in the future, you don't have to have a cesarean again if you don't want to.

    My milk came in on day 6 after my cesarean and my boy was starving!!! I couldn't handle it and I put him on the bottle at 11 days old... It is my biggest regret to this day. I really wish I had of gone to see a LC to get some help to continue breastfeeding.

    OP you have been through alot in the last 10 days. You have done nothing wrong. Try and be kind to yourself at the moment, adjusting to life with a baby is a big deal and it takes some getting used to.

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    You need to be proud of yourself , you have been through a tough time and you have had a beautiful baby , you have done nothing wrong, if you needed forceps and they said he was tight in there you must of needed a c section , it was probably going that way regardless of epi.I understand the trauma of a birth taken out of your hands. You did a great job you have to believe that.
    As far as breast feeding I would spend as much time in bed with him and let him be around your nipple , I would let him get used to it slowly by putting the nipple in his mouth . He may decide to latch on. He has been through trauma too and may need a little time cuddling and feeling safe with his mummy in bed.

    Good luck , you will get over the birth at some point . It took me a few years to come to terms that my first labour was a mass of intervention . Hope you get the breastfeeding experience you so hope , if not don't beat yourself up . You sound like a lovely mummy already xxx

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    Default Please give your opinion if I did something wrong

    Thank you for your replies. I have another appointment with another lactation consultant so will see how that goes.

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    Default Re: Please give your opinion if I did something wrong

    They should.have been monitoring how many wet nappies he'd had. If he was that dry, you could assume not many!

    Sent from my HTC Desire HD A9191 using BubHub

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