*Note- I have chosen to have my diary like other sections of BH, mainly for me to post in and others to read along with at will. I would absolutely love for you to post your questions and other posts in a new thread. This is mostly to keep things as organised as possible for me... I need this organisation to survive
Well, here I am. Sitting on my tiny bottom (I'm not joking, I have no bum!) with my laptop resting on my stomach (so *that's* where my fat goes.. I should send my body a memo that it's doing it all wrong- doesn't it know that women like to have a big booty and an itty bitty waist?)
The odds seem to be stacked against me at the moment. Trying to turn your life around is not a decision to be taken lightly, and for me, I know when I've tried to do it in the past, I've needed other areas of my life to be in relative order. Last week I would have cried from the rooftops that I am ready to take on the world. The world can change in a few days. I am struggling to find care for my boys, and have been on a roller-coaster of people accepting this job and then taking back their offer. It's mentally exhausting to know that no one wants to spend time with your children, and it's really hard to accept because they are the two sweetest little souls you will ever meet.
Anyway- ahem. I digress. My point is that I'm annoyed this is happening because I NEED the clear head and focus to succeed, so the sooner I can find a solution for that problem, the better I will be.
My Zumba DVD's arrived on Monday! I was oh so excited to see my lovely delivery lady at the door, and my boys were excited because they thought someone had sent me a birthday present (them having just had their 4th birthday a few days before.) so they couldn't wait for me to open it up and see what was inside.
B has immediately taken a liking to the toning sticks, and he was proudly showing them off to DP when he got home from work last night lol.
I cleared all the new toys and games off the lounge room floor and put on the first DVD, which is like a 'walk-through' of the steps. (Pfft- walkthrough! You should have seen me huffing and puffing at the walkthrough!)
Of course the boys tried to make life hard and were standing in front of me, beside me and behind me... of course I might have samba'd onto a little foot once or twice- oops!
After about 45 minutes of that though L started sending through the complaints- 'I no want to watch this any more!'.. apparently a jiggly belly is no rival for Lightning McQueen. Who would have thought?
This morning I got up at 5am and put on my Zumba and did a 45 min 'workout'. Thankfully no one was filming me.. although maybe they should have been, I would love to win the major prize on Funniest Home Videos. I just know they would caption it something that they deemed funny, and yet would make me want to sink into the ground 'hippo dances zumba' or 'watch the jiggle' or something else highly inappropriate.
So this morning I started back on the porridge with a tsp of honey and a pinch of mixed spices. (I didn't have any straight cinnamon and it was actually nice like that!)
Morning tea was a carmens meusli bar, and lunch I have a salad and an apple ready and waiting.
Of course, as soon as I got the message come through on my phone today that tomorrow will have to be the last day of organised care for my boys I immediately thought 'Oh god, give me chocolate now!' and thankfully I didn't have any nearby!
I need to learn to shake off these immediate thoughts and to stop punishing and rewarding myself with food. It's an unhealthy habit and it never makes me feel better once the food has all gone.
Looking forward to seeing the change in 8 weeks.