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  1. #61
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    Default Re: Stay at home mum vs career mum

    I dont think anyone said that the op WILL feel differently did they?
    Sorry if i missed it?

    I said i *think* she will. Meaning its entirely my opinion as that was my experience.

    I dont think anyone really knows how they will feel as a mother or what its like until they become one. I dont think thats condescending but rather a fact of life.

    I never truly appreciated what my mum did for me until i became a mum myself. Now i understand. Its hard work!!

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  3. #62
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    Default Stay at home mum vs career mum

    I'd like a large combo too please, large coke (sorry challenge) and a choc top please!

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  5. #63
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    Default Re: Stay at home mum vs career mum

    Yeah I can see why people are offended.

    But I think you are thinking about this in the wrong way.

    As a friend (who's on here so hi sorry I'm gonna steal your thoughts) she'd prefer to be a sahm because she's limiting the number of people playing an influential role in her children's lives.

    You want to raise strong independent intelligent ambitious children - raise them with those values. Be an example for sure. I'm a sahm, my baby girl has my love attention and affection. Im teaching my son to bake and one day I'll teach my daughter.

    And some time between now and when my children are adults themselves they will see me study, reenter the work force, continue their careers.

    AND they'll see their DAD doing the same thing.

    And I'm a younger mummy, had jasper at 21 & katelyn 24, so I also do have time for a career. I want my kids to know right now they are priority one and at some point my career - whatever it may be in the future - will be most important. They are little for such a brief moment and I have SOOOOOOOO LONG to be Mrs. Professional educated woman. Right now I'm bakes cakes and plays play dough woman.

    But financially we are going to be better if I work Part time next year a day or so a week. But I'm dreading it. The only way I'll do it is if I can work with katelyn (I'm a qualified child carer)


    Anyhoooooooooo

    Yeah. They are not ! exclusive at all. You don't have to decide who you will be every day for the rest of your life when your 5 months pregnant.


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  7. #64
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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    I love my balance.

    Being a teacher, I'm just doing supply work while the kids are little... so that means if I'm behind with stuff at home, or the kids are sick or there's something else on.. I can say "Sorry I can't today"... it gives me the flexibility I need with a large young family, and also gives me satisfaction that I am bringing money into the house when I do work. I love my job, I love being in the classroom I love the kids I teach and being a small town I get to know all of them really well.

    And I also love being able to kick back and have weeks at home with my own little people making playdough and biscuits and sorting out the house hold stuff. Perfect for me.

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    For me it didn't really factor in what my parents did (that's not a derogatory comment to them, they did what worked for them), I chose to see how it went and make the decision as the time went along. I stayed home nearly 2 yrs with both my kids and well honestly it didn't work for me. I started to get depressed, I have health issues and somehow coped worse with it all when I was home. I enjoy having something outside my kids and it's only small but it uses my brain, gives me something to talk about and makes me enjoy my kids oh so much more now, I stopped enjoying being with them all the time.

    Doesn't make me love them any less and I have the utmost respect for those that SAHP, I had visions of being like that and I just couldn't. Whatever works for a family is the best for the family.

  9. #66
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    The offensive part of the OP is the "are stay at home mums setting the right example" part.

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  11. #67
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    Im a stay home mum and i absolutely love it. I fully intended to be back at work when DS turned 1 but he just turned 2 and i still dont want to go back. Instead we are working on bub number 2 so i dare say it will be a few years before i return.
    Thanlfully we are in a position where we can afford for me to stay home.
    One day when my children are older i want to return to work (law) part time but right now i want to be home with them. I want to be the one to pick them up when they fall, i dont want to miss all the firsts, and i dont want other to be major influences in my children.
    This works for us so we are happy.

    On a side note, i find it odd to see people writing they want to or have returned to work so they can have their own money / income. In our house DF may be the one in paid employment but its 'our income'.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    On a side note, i find it odd to see people writing they want to or have returned to work so they can have their own money / income. In our house DF may be the one in paid employment but its 'our income'.
    Might be odd to you but I've been a single mum in the past (and am aware of how easy it could happen again), not odd to me whatsoever It's "our" income as well, in fact DP has to prop me up significantly financially as he earns a higher income, but it's still important to me to contribute financially to the household income because of my past. I'm sorry you find it odd, but it's normal to me. And your situation doesn't strike me as odd either, just different.
    Last edited by Benji; 22-10-2012 at 13:36.

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    Default Stay at home mum vs career mum

    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    On a side note, i find it odd to see people writing they want to or have returned to work so they can have their own money / income. In our house DF may be the one in paid employment but its 'our income'.
    That's what it's like in our family. I am not presently the bread winner, DP is at the moment, however it's our money, even during the tough times.
    Last edited by LifeInShadesOfGrey; 22-10-2012 at 13:36.

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    Its impossible to answer 'are stay at home mums setting the right example?' as it would be to ask the same of working mums. Its not the staying home or the working that makes someone a good parent or ensures they set a good example.

    Life is about compromise. There are very few perfect decisions with absolutely no downside. So, sorry, its not a black and white issue of one choice good, other choice bad.

    And the boundaries are not always clear cut. How many hours a week must you work to be a working mum? 3hrs, 15, 40? What about a SAHM with their own business? What about a craft based business? How many things must they make and sell to be 'working'? What about a SAHM with investments such as shares or property? You can be a SAHM and still be financially independant.

    Don't limit yourself by thinking of the mum world as being working or SAHM. There's so much more to the options than that.

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