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  1. #31
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    I hope your mum doesn't realise just how little respect you clearly have for the years of work she did for you. Having friends over after school & home baked goodies to share. Wow, what a terrible example she set. Caring for and loving her children. Sacrificing so many things over the years for you and your sibling/s. I hope my children are not so ungrateful when they are grown as it would probably break my heart to have them feel I wasted my time and set a poor example for them.

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    But this is 2012, not 1985. The child support agency didn't even exist back then and the majority of single parent families had little contact with the non custodial parent, if any at all.
    I *think* what BEP is trying to say is 'why resent your mum for not being there, but not your dad?'... whether they were separated or not, whether he maintained contact or not... she could still be disappointed with him not being able to be there.

    Yeah?

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  5. #33
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    Default Re: Stay at home mum vs career mum

    Im a sahm and like a pp said i think my time and love are the best things i can do for my DD. I teach her in many different ways and i also worked full time in a career for many years before i had her. Earning money isnt the be all and also isnt what true happiness is all about.

    Dont forget that if both parents are in full time work this usually means a child is in the care of others while i believe prior to school age especially its important for them to have this time with a parent (particularly their mother ) rather than with a child carer. Just my opinion and what works for us!

    Also your theory is flawed and ill tell you why.

    My mum was a sahm and continued to b so even after my Dad left us. She ended up working a few small cleaning jobs while i was at school a few hours a week ( i was the youngest) so certainly set no role model in being a career driven woman

    Im happy as a sahm and feel like its my calling and have no desire or ambition to return to the work force where as both my sisters are extremely career driven.

    One is the CEO of a multi million dollar company!

    I think you will feel different once ur bubs is here and may even have a whole new appreciation for what your mum did!

    All the best

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

  6. #34
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    In your world, who spends time with all these children/manages all these homes/cooks all these meals/does all these school runs/teaches all these children (at least 'til age 6). Why is outsourcing it to a paid employee (childcare/cleaner/cook) to be more respected than a mum doing it herself?
    I don't get it.

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  8. #35
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    Default Re: Stay at home mum vs career mum

    Quote Originally Posted by BornToBe View Post
    In your world, who spends time with all these children/manages all these homes/cooks all these meals/does all these school runs/teaches all these children (at least 'til age 6). Why is outsourcing it to a paid employee (childcare/cleaner/cook) to be more respected than a mum doing it herself?
    I don't get it.
    This always baffles me too.

    Only difference is they are being paid for it.

    Its sad that money is the main focus of somebodys worth

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  10. #36
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    I think a lot of people have this romantic notion in their head of what motherhood will be like before their baby arrives. I did. Wait until you have bub, you might be begging to get back to work, you might look at him/her and realise you're not ready to be separated at 6 months.

    I work and have a 'job'. I have no interest in a career, my job is just a job. When DS tells me that he doesn't want to go to school today, I tell him "I don't want to go to work either, but we have to do things we don't want to to go places in life. I need to work to pay for your food/toys/housing and you have to go to school to learn and be a big boy". So I do believe I'm setting a good example for him by teaching him that sometimes yeah, we do have to do boring stuff that we don't want to in order to live. In saying that, this doesn't mean that I think that SAHPs *aren't* teaching their children this, this is just one of the good points of being a working parent (just as there are good points about being a SAHP ).

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  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Littlemissellie View Post
    This always baffles me too.

    Only difference is they are being paid for it.

    Its sad that money is the main focus of somebodys worth

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub
    I guess for many people though, money is power. Being a SAHP would not even be open for judgment if it was independent paid work. The fact is, being a SAHP means you give up power and control in your life. You rely on your partners unwavering loyalty. But if the partner does leave and decide to only pay the minimum child support or not keep you in your current lifestyle then you are screwed.

    Myself, I need to have my own independence and not depend on anyone and be so openly vulnerable.

    But like a PP said and I agree 100%... It comes down to the parent whether they're a good role model or not, not their employment status. I know there are SAHM's that are bad role models just as there's working dads who are bad role models,

  13. #38
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    I think you will understand a great deal more when your child is born . You will feel a love and a protection towards that child you have never felt for any human , you will feel a responsibility too to care and teach and feed and be the best you can be. Only then will you reflect back on your own mother with mothers eyes and a mothers heart. . That's when you will find your own answer.

    I'm a stay at home mum of 3 , one with autism. I do a good job and I'm proud of myself. It's unpaid of course!! Ha ha I worked for 15 years prior and I was good at that too... Maybe one day ill go back to work but it never gave me the pride I feel at the end of the day that my sahm role does .

    I was not offended by your post , I think lack of parental experience has given you a one sided view . This will become even when you start to parent.

    Congratulations on your daughter and I hope you give yourself time to make the right choice for your family xxx

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  15. #39
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    I dont think the OP can get out of this just because they're youngvor not a parent yet. I was a lot younger than 23 when I learned to appreciate what both my mum and my dad did for me.

    Either she's extremely immature or is just **** stirring.

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  17. #40
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    I feel its impotant to have some sort of job/work experience in some field up your sleeve (as a sahm)..incase you have to go back to work...

    as for role model for a child I don't think it really matters on if you have a career or stay at home..

    I chose to work part time as I enjoy it..

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