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  1. #131
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    I think a good role model is someone who knows what they want from life and makes choices that support their vision for who they are. A parent like this sets an example for their kids that says, "be the best YOU that you can, whatever that may be". So if someone's calling is to stay at home with their kids and they are brave enough to do this in the face of the judgment of others, I say good on them. They are setting an example of strength and being true to who they are.

    Similarly, someone who goes to work instead of staying home with their kids will be setting a great example if they approach their work feeling inspired and do the best job they can every day.

    It's when someone loses themself and their dreams that they cease to be a good role model. That can happen to bored SAHM's and disengaged employees equally.

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  3. #132
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    This topic always becomes heated.

    In my circumstance, I went back to work FT then dropped to 4 days a week when DS was 9 months old (he is now 4). The plan back then was that we would have baby # 2 and I could have some more time off with MAT leave then work part time until the children were in school.

    Then my husband got sick.

    For the last 2 years I have been the sole bread winner in my family. The 2nd child dream has gone out the window (I'm 40) and I'm slogging it away full time to ensure my family has a roof over our head and food on the table.

    To be honest, I am proud of myself that I am able to do this for my family and so relieved that I actually had the capacity to do this. I hate to think what would have happened if I had completely dropped out of the workforce for say 5+ years and then my husband got sick. Therefore, due to my own circumstances and what happened to me, I believe that women should always be in a position where they can financially support their family because you just never know what is around the corner.

    In saying that though, I would dearly love to only have to work part time and enjoy more time with my son.

  4. #133
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    Default Re: Stay at home mum vs career mum

    I choose to be a sahm because I want to be there to take my son to school, to pick him up and to give him as much time as I can. In our family he is an only child and I feel that if I went to work full time I would regret it when he is all grown up.

    We can't all be working mums and we can't all be sahm's... If everyone in this world was the same we would be in trouble!

  5. #134
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    I think there's a level of financial dependency even when somebody is a SAHP, especially if there are several young children in the family. Child care is really expensive, put three young ones in child care and it could easily cost a worker's wage. I see caring for young children as a financial move as well as the other factors.

    Like FearlessLeader, I don't quite understand the SAHP definition. I took 3 years off to care for DS and it was such a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things, he was so young and things do change. I couldn't imagine staying at home for the rest.of.my.life. It would drive me crazy and there is a level of danger where if you're home for many years and your husband *heaven forbid* got injured at work/passed away/ran off/etc.... it could cause major major problems. But then again I get bored in my holidays from work because DS is school aged and there's really not a lot to do.

  6. #135
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cdro View Post
    It's when someone loses themself and their dreams that they cease to be a good role model. That can happen to bored SAHM's and disengaged employees equally.
    See, I'm not sure about this. We do need garbos, people to scrub toilets etc. Not everybody can love their job, and nor should they. We need people to do the lousy jobs that nobody else wants to. I don't love my job (although it's slowly changing roles for the better) but I teach DS that in order to survive, I have to do things I don't want. I'm not "living my dream" but heck, we're all happy and I do believe I'm teaching him that not everything in life is just handed to us.

    My dad was a delivery driver for some time. He *hated* that job. He was treated like rubbish by his boss, yet he was the dad who rushed home from work to pick my brother and I up, to teach us languages, to help us with our homework, who taught me how to cook and handle finances.

    To say he (or I) was a bad role model because we didn't have our 'dream job' IMO is not correct. I hold the same opinion for bored SAHMs, I don't believe they are a bad role model just because they have to survive some drudgery while the kids are little.

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  8. #136
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    First of all I think this thread was just started to stir the pot a bit more after the baby bonus thread but anyway here goes.

    I think both types of mums are great. I think it's up to the family.. what they can afford/want to do. I love my job and I love my kids. I like the extra money so that I can take my kids on nice outings.. something I wouldn't be able to do much if I didn't work. I enjoy my time away from them and my time with them.. I work 3 days a week which gives me some "me" time even if it's while I'm at work.

    I applaud SAHM. I really do. Why? Because I think they do a fantastic job and I think if I was one I'd go mental. That's the way I am. Other mum's absolutely love being with the children all day every day and that's great.

    I don't see why it has to be a versus thing. I'm sick and tired of people being put down no matter what choice they make. Why can't people just be happy with the way other people parent? I mean at the end of the day as long as your child is happy, loved and has all their needs met what does it matter about everything else?

  9. #137
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    First of all I think this thread was just started to stir the pot a bit more after the baby bonus thread but anyway here goes.

    I think both types of mums are great. I think it's up to the family.. what they can afford/want to do. I love my job and I love my kids. I like the extra money so that I can take my kids on nice outings.. something I wouldn't be able to do much if I didn't work. I enjoy my time away from them and my time with them.. I work 3 days a week which gives me some "me" time even if it's while I'm at work.

    I applaud SAHM. I really do. Why? Because I think they do a fantastic job and I think if I was one I'd go mental. That's the way I am. Other mum's absolutely love being with the children all day every day and that's great.

    I don't see why it has to be a versus thing. I'm sick and tired of people being put down no matter what choice they make. Why can't people just be happy with the way other people parent? I mean at the end of the day as long as your child is happy, loved and has all their needs met what does it matter about everything else?

  10. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renesme View Post
    First of all I think this thread was just started to stir the pot a bit more after the baby bonus thread but anyway here goes.
    No it was started before that thread. It might look that way because they were both moved from another section.

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    the only issue is that people see it as a versus instead of an "either/or/bot" scenario.

    It's like saying "should you work for a company or start your own business"...both are totally valid choices.

    It's like "should you go to uni/tafe or straight into the workforce"...both valid choices with lots of options within them.

    I don't understand why people get their knickers all tied...what i see, on a large scale...is that everyone is doing the best they can for them and their families. Some women inspire their kids by working and supporting the family and some inspire them by staying at home...some inspire by juggling study and work/sahm.

    It's not a competition...it's life. And life is what happens while everyone is trying to plan for other things...embrace what you have chosen and move on.

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  13. #140
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    I am i SAHM and i like to think im good roll model for BOTH my ds and dd... ild much rather be there cook their food and watch them grow up then not be there and work. i have total respect to parents who work, because its your choice and i think everyone should respect others choices.

    i do feel sorry for the way you think of your mum. she sounds like a awesome mum. my mum did part time work, i never got home made cookies or cakes.


 

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