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  1. #1
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    Default The other girls....

    Deleted for privacy reasons.
    Last edited by Chillies; 30-10-2012 at 13:22.

  2. #2
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    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
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    One word.

    Therapy.

    I don't mean that in a nasty way! You clearly need to work through this and haven't gotten over it as you told him you have. That tells me only one thing... You need counseling. Both for yourself and for him. Preferably as a couple.

    It's understandable that you'd be hurt. But just trying to push it to the back of your mind won't fix the problem.

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    Chillies  (22-10-2012)

  4. #3
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    Default The other girls....

    Deleted for privacy reasons.
    Last edited by Chillies; 30-10-2012 at 13:23.

  5. #4
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    My gosh! You sound exactly like me when I first started seeing DP!

    Not sure if my story will help but this is what happened in my situation.

    Met DP in 1999....he was a bit of a bad boy and man that was sooooo attractive to me! He had made it clear that he was interested in me but was going on a trip later in the year so he didnt want to get serious. So I tried to distance myself and fell hard.

    Anyway....he went around on his trip (9 months) came back and said that he wanted to see me again. Great! I thought. We werent living together at the time but I was pretty much at his house all the time. We would have great fun together and I would miss him like mad when I was apart. He always kept a little distance bewteen us....like he didnt want to get too close... and I guess that made me want him more. One thing he was, was always honest. If he went out he would tell me everything that happened. Every girl that would hit on him, he girl that he took home where she slept in his bed but they didnt do anything...all this sort of stuff and I would be gutted every time he told me.

    He never made any promises and said that he wanted to have a relationship but wanted to take it slow but said that he would always tell me the truth and I could decide what I wanted to do with that.

    I was so torn...torn between telling him to shove it and just wanting to be with him as I could see us together forever IYKWIM.

    It was a horrible time....being so in love and always feeling like I was being stabbed in the heart. This went on for about a year and I had some serious depression. I couldnt tell him how I felt as he said he didnt want the pressure and any friends I told always said to dump him. Whenever I had a drink it made it worse. I would become so depressed and angry and all these feelings would well up and just spill out. It got to the point where DP said that I had to stop drinking and I knew I had to as well.

    It just hurt so much that these girls would be all over him and he would chat to them and stuff and I knew I could trust him not to do anything but it still cut deep. And always in the back of my mind I would always think...is he really not doing anything? What if he gets drunk enough?

    There was this one girl at his work that would always be all over him. Offering to suck his d1ck, and try to kiss him and stuff. And he said he always pushed her away.

    I ended up having to seek counselling and went on anti depressants. Probably did it for a year.

    So what ended up fixing it? Counselling helped but also when he finally committed to me. He had a motor bike accident and was out of action for about 3 months so temporarily moved in with him and looked after him.

    For him that was the sign that I was the one...that when he was so incapacitated that I still wanted him, wanted to be with him. That it proved that I loved him no matter what.

    See back in his past he had girlfriends cheat on him and he also had another bad accident where the girlfriend left him 'cause she couldnt deal with it. So he though the he was never going to get hurt again so would never let anyone get close.

    So he put me through the wringer to prove that I was going to stick around.

    I dont know if any of this relates to you but I would highly recommend getting some counselling....talk it all out to a stranger and get your thoughts organised. They can then give you some next steps like maybe couple counselling, etc.

    We have been together now for 13 years with 3 kids. We talk about that time now and he never realised that he hurt me so much by testing me.

    It seems to me that you probably dont trust him and he hasnt given you any legitimate signs to show that he wouldnt do anything. Can you chat to him about it? Without alcohol in the mix? Just tell him deep down how you feel and he also needs to open up and tell you how he feels as well.

    I hope it all works out for you

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    Chillies  (22-10-2012)

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    Default The other girls....

    Deleted for privacy reasons.
    Last edited by Chillies; 30-10-2012 at 13:24.


 

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