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  1. #1
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    Default Should I be concerned?

    Wanting some honest opinions please.
    I have been with my husband for 10 yrs (married for nearly 3). We have a 19mth old little boy who is the absolute joy of my life
    My Husband has always been jealous and insecure often accusing me of deceiving him or cheating etc, wanting to look at phone bills and at times quite paranoid. Of course I am
    not perfect, not in any way but I've never cheated or betrayed him in any way yet this has been the cause of much friction but I've put it down to issues stemming from nothing to do with me.
    Recently he won an all expenses paid trip to Las Vegas for a week and decided to use holiday time to stay for an extra week. He was a little bit strange on the phone for a couple of the days and also wrote me an email asking me to come clean about cheating on him a couple of years ago?!? I figured he was a long way from home and that was making him act weirdly and didn't bite.
    Today a message chimed through on his iPhone from Facebook and he was cooking so I read it out to him, there was also a friend request from a pretty girl and when I read her name out he says he'd never heard of her yet when I clicked on her profile there was Las Vegas photos everywhere so obviously he does know her? I didn't say much about it until our son went to bed and then after dinner I asked if he was going to tell me who she is and why did he lie about knowing her? He blew up immediately and started shouting at me to leave it and to shut the f$&k up. To me it seems like he is defensive but I could be reading more into something very innocent I just don't know why he said he'd never heard of her? Sorry for the long post, I just want some impartial opinions, am I being silly or should I be concerned? I'm not a jealous or suspicious person at all but something in my stomach is telling me all is not ok.

  2. #2
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    Default Should I be concerned?

    I'm not sure whether he is being deceitful or not. All I wanted to say is that gut instincts are there for a reason...
    Good luck to you and I hope things are clearer for you soon. X

  3. #3
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    No you're not being silly.

    I'm not saying there's definetly something going on but betweem him being suspicious of you and then choosing to get you to 'come clean' while he was over in vegas, which seems to me, like he wants to feel justified...about what? Then some girl he lied about. If it's all innocent, why the need to lie, why is he being so secretive..."Just leave it" isn't something that someone says that is innocent.

    As I said, not saying definite but from where I sit, these would be some serious signs for me to want to get to the bottom of, without the name calling and swearing and diverting.

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  5. #4
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    Oh and when he starts telling you you're paranoid or that YOU'VE got some problem...that's a sign too.

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    Default Re: Should I be concerned?

    A long time ago, before my DH. .. I was acting just like your husband. I was cheating on my bf (which I'm not proud of) and constantly accused him of doing it to me as subconsciously I was guilty. I really hope this isn't the case for you!! I would be prying more in to this las Vegas woman for sure...

    Sent from my GT-I9305 using BubHub

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  9. #6
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    Usually it has been said the one who is doing all the accusing is actually the one doing the cheating. I hope he hasn't been, but he sounds suss to me. Why blow up in your face about it?

    I hope he hasn't been, and you can work it out. Maybe create a ''fake '' profile and befriend her and suss her out that way.

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    Default Should I be concerned?

    I agree with the other posters: hubby accusing you could be his guilty mind talking.

    I've been to Vegas and it really is an exciting and naughty place... To the point of being overwhelming. I don't know why anyone in a relationship (especially a man) would go to Vegas without their partner, that's just asking for trouble.

    Just a side note, when I travelled through Europe I used Internet cafes. Then when I got home I received all these weird friend requests from European sounding people. I gathered there was some type of virus on the computers I used and the friend requests were 'phishing' attempts to hack my account. I just deleted the requests. I don't think that's the case with your hubby (las Vegas photos + being angry = something's up).

    If I were you I'd talk to him about it when he's calm. Actually before I do that I'd do some information gathering. Also known as snooping. I don't approve of snooping unless there are suspicions the hubby is being shady. And I believe your husband is. You have to look after yourself, especially with the risk of STD's etc.

    Good luck
    Last edited by VicPark; 22-10-2012 at 06:21.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bub4shell View Post
    Wanting some honest opinions please.
    I have been with my husband for 10 yrs (married for nearly 3). We have a 19mth old little boy who is the absolute joy of my life
    My Husband has always been jealous and insecure often accusing me of deceiving him or cheating etc, wanting to look at phone bills and at times quite paranoid. Of course I am
    not perfect, not in any way but I've never cheated or betrayed him in any way yet this has been the cause of much friction but I've put it down to issues stemming from nothing to do with me.
    Recently he won an all expenses paid trip to Las Vegas for a week and decided to use holiday time to stay for an extra week. He was a little bit strange on the phone for a couple of the days and also wrote me an email asking me to come clean about cheating on him a couple of years ago?!? I figured he was a long way from home and that was making him act weirdly and didn't bite.
    Today a message chimed through on his iPhone from Facebook and he was cooking so I read it out to him, there was also a friend request from a pretty girl and when I read her name out he says he'd never heard of her yet when I clicked on her profile there was Las Vegas photos everywhere so obviously he does know her? I didn't say much about it until our son went to bed and then after dinner I asked if he was going to tell me who she is and why did he lie about knowing her? He blew up immediately and started shouting at me to leave it and to shut the f$&k up. To me it seems like he is defensive but I could be reading more into something very innocent I just don't know why he said he'd never heard of her? Sorry for the long post, I just want some impartial opinions, am I being silly or should I be concerned? I'm not a jealous or suspicious person at all but something in my stomach is telling me all is not ok.
    Sorry hon but to me it sounds like he may have cheated on you and is feeling guilty. The fact that he wanted you to come clean about cheating on him at the time he was in Las Vegas tells me he wanted you to have cheated on him to justify him cheating on you. If he is getting defensive there is something seriously wrong.

    Please don't sleep with him until you're sure he hasn't cheated on you. As PP said he could have picked up an STD.

    I hope I'm wrong hon
    Last edited by Renesme; 22-10-2012 at 06:07.

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  15. #9
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    He sounds very suss.
    Sorry you are going through this.

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    I would think he was cheating and possibly has been for some time.

    When people are cheating, they get paranoid and often accuse their partner to try and deflect the guilt.

    I wish i had some good advice for you...maybe start with relationships Australia and get some couple counselling?

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