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  1. #1
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    Default Pos trigger *sex* nephew inapropriate with ds

    Mods please move if in wrong area.

    I have a 2 y 4 month old ds & and 4 1/2 year old nephew,

    As ds is toilet training i often have him running around with no pants,
    A few weeks ago i over heard my son say 'something penis' while on the swing with my ds, i investigated and found my nephew with his pants down and i *think* touching ds,

    I later that day caught my nephew kissing ds, i have *no* issue with kissing but he was full in grabbing ds's face and making out with it.

    Today they were playing in the toy room, it was to quiet so i went and checked, my nephew had shut the door and was laying on top of ds making out with him again.


    I am now concerned but don't know how to raise this without p!ssing my sister off,

    How would you deal with this? What would you say?
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    Oh God...um yeh if it were me, I'd be concerned.

    How do you raise it? I really don't know. Perhaps say that you're finding this really difficult to bring up with her as you don't want to upset her and then just tell her what you saw. Don't pull it apart or give your opinion as to why or any of that, just tell her that this is what you saw and that it has you concerned. Just be honest.

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    Default Re: Pos trigger *sex* nephew inapropriate with ds

    I'd probably supervise them more closely if you are concerned. Talk about boundaries with your son. Insist on pants on if you are worried.

    I have a 4 year old son who lays on his baby sister, both kids open-mouth-kiss each other, I'm often telling jasper to pack his penis away or stop touching it. (NOT all that the same moment but most days lol)

    Now I do tell him not to lay on his sister because I don't want him to hurt her. I do discourage them kissing on the month because it's a bit germy.

    It's not remotely sexual but I do gently set some boundaries.

    Id personally observe the behaviour from a "4 year old perspective" rather than an adults.

    Good luck.

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  4. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Boobycino For This Useful Post:

    FearlessLeader  (22-10-2012),misskittyfantastico  (21-10-2012),Mom2TwoDSs  (22-10-2012)

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    I think you need to check out the age appropriate sexual experimentation for children of this age. Then see whether or not its considered within the range. I would also be having a discussion with your sister. Not blaming or finger pointing but maybe more general "I saw the boys....". Then work with her to agree on how you are going to handle it.

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    OMG certainly needs some talking to be done here.

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    Default Re: Pos trigger *sex* nephew inapropriate with ds

    Quote Originally Posted by BbBbBh View Post
    I think you need to check out the age appropriate sexual experimentation for children of this age. Then see whether or not its considered within the range. I would also be having a discussion with your sister. Not blaming or finger pointing but maybe more general "I saw the boys....". Then work with her to agree on how you are going to handle it.
    I would say it *is* age appropriate behaviour,
    I've been keeping a closer eye and insist ds has pants on at all times,

    I just am not sure how to address it with my sister as i know it is something all kids do but its not okay iykwim

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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    We've had our fair share of penis touching in this house let me tell you.

    Usually I just go "Oi, that's his penis, leave it alone, you've got your own."

    Or "hey, that's his personal private bit"

    But we've also had lots of penis accidents with balls and falls and accidental kicks or elbows and stuff... which I always use to say "And that's why I tell you not to touch other people's private spaces, it's a very sensitive area and get's hurt easily"

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    Default Re: Pos trigger *sex* nephew inapropriate with ds

    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    Don't you say something at the time? ie. 'it isn't nice to touch other peoples private parts' or 'cousins don't kiss on the cheek'. Until someone sees it happening and has something to say about it, he probably doesn't know better. Doesn't have to be a ranty type of discussion, just a simple statement. I am sure he will get it quickly enough... meanwhile it is probably best to start the discussions with your son about not letting others touch his bits etc and I would just casually mention to your sister that this happened you said x and are talking to your DS about y, just incase she wanted to do the same.
    I said to my nephew, no more kissing like that and also you don't touch ds like that.

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    Default Re: Pos trigger *sex* nephew inapropriate with ds

    Yup I'd just redirect them. With my kids - it's a bit different I guess because they are both mine so I know what going on and I can comfortably tell my older child what's not appropriate without stepping on anyone else's toes.

    And omg penis injuries. Penis in CD/DVD holes. penis jammed in toy box. Worst was penis in a pram toy clip. He cried so much. My poor baby. (I allowed myself a giggle when I ran to get the ice pack)

    But yeah I tell jasper often penis stays in his pants, and nobody is to touch him and he's not to touch anyone else.

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    Default Pos trigger *sex* nephew inapropriate with ds

    I think his Mum would appreciate you telling her. In some rare cases sexual behaviors from young children could point towards something sinister they have experienced. If he has been abused in some way this is a possible indicator. This is not to say you should start suggesting this or suspect something, it's just something to keep in mind and a reason why it is important to tell her so that she has a conversation with him.


 

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