I feel lost. everyday I wake up im filled with nothing. the only thing that makes me smile is my DS smile. I havent been to the doctor to get any diagnose. I dont know weather im medically depressed or if im just unhappy with where my life is. dont get me wrong I love the fact I have a wonderful son and a somewhat fiance. here is my life.
my fiance is trying to quit drugs for the 150th time in our relationship (been together for 2 almost 3 years) he says he is trying but he sneaks out to mates places who smoke and I know he is smoking it. the smell is pretty hard to cover up. I keep beleiving every time he says he will quit and cut back and what not. Lies!!
I never ever want to end up with someone who does that stuff. we got together after a 1 night stand and falling pregnant and we grew to love each other before DS was born.
I serisouly love him and my son but why am I so empty?
nother reason why im so down is the fact that im definalty overweight im not talking about like I weigh 70kg. im badly overwieght I weight 120kg (gosh thats hard to admit) im trying to lose the weight but im a comfort eater. I also suffer with psryasis all over my arms and legs which means im fully clothed 24/7. which I hate when I have to.leave the house or find nice clothes that I have to cover up with a long sleave jacket.
another thing that gets me down is the fact me and my partner are never intermate! since we first meet each other the 1st time we had sex I fell pregnant. since then we only had sex 2 more times! I feel the urge and he dont want it. he feels the urge and I dont want it.
I just hate feeling like this. I try to talk to a friend about it and she always has troubles in her life so I dont get much say.
yes I only have 1 friend. try to make more but never happens.
im 25 why arnt I enjoying life! I enjoy my life when its just me and DS and he is happy but when he alseep I have time to.think and I just hate it.
does anyone think im medically depressed or should I just change my life?
(sorry for rambling on)
thank you for reading my twisted sad life.
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