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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    I dont know for sure, but I am 99% sure that you cant get anything if his name isnt on the birth certificate.
    Sorry. I hope you can find another way to make ends meet

    This isn't true. She can. A DNA test will be ordered to make sure he is the father and then it's his choice whether he wants to make his name on the birth certificate or not. Either way he still has to pay.


    To the OP - How certain are you that he would follow through on his threats? To be perfectly honest if I thought for a second that there was a chance my ex would kill my kids I'd rather not have him in my or their life. Please remember also that the more a man sees his kids the less child support they have to pay. So you need to consider that he might push the issue of visitation which he will get (supervised at first obviously and if he can prove he's mentally stable and once the child has formed a relationship with him he will be provided unsupervised access).

    Just ask yourself.. is the extra money you'd get from child support worth it? Have you considered applying to go into a community/government house? My bestfriend did this while she was studying and she had 2 kids and lived quite comfortably and she also received no child support.

    Please don't take this as me saying you shouldn't apply for child support. I think you have every right to receive something from the *******. I'm just telling you to think about the consequences of forcing an obviously bitter man into paying child support. If there's no chance that he'll follow through on his threat then go for your life!

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  3. #12
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    I agree with some of the PP....he doesnt sound like the sort of person I would want to keep in (forced) contact with, let alone start harassing him to do something he clearly does not want to do (pay for or have any sort of responsibility for the child). I would be steering clear of him and trying to find ANY other solution that doesnt include involving a man who has threatened mine and my daughters life.
    Hugs again OP, Im sure its tough

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    I would try and make ends meet somehow else. The minute he is acknowledged as the father and paying child support will be the minute he can legally apply for custody and push for visitation etc.

    Heaps of kids don't get to go to dancing/gymnastics even when they're living in a 2 parent-income family because of financial. Perhaps just choose one activity instead of the two? Or look at less expensive activities - dancing has always seemed like the biggest rip off money-wise to me....

    TBH I don't it think its fair for the father to have never been involved (his choice or your choice) for the last 5 years and then be sued for child support for a child that he has never seen and by the sounds of it you wouldn't let him see either.....

    If you want the child support then you have to accept the other ramifications that will come with legally naming him as the father that come with custody etc.

    My aunt went the court-ordered DNA test route to claim child support even though she had no intention of involving the father in her child's life and now regrets it as she has to get permission to take her son interstate to visit her sister and has to share custody etc.....
    Last edited by wannawannabe; 20-10-2012 at 16:03.

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    Default Re: need help re suing for child support with no name on birth certificate

    In this case I would let sleeping dogs lie.

    Why would u want to involve someone like that in your life all for the sake of some money.

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    Don't involve him, don't acknowledge him as the father. He said those dispicable things to you from the start and has never made any effort so **** him. If I were you I'd drop uni for a semester and work.... Can you get a Christmas casual job somewhere? Is session over soon? Drop DD activities temporarily and take her to the park instead or on play dates etc.

    Its tough but just remember its not forever -it's great you're studying towards something that will take you places work wise. But seriously, I would stay right away from the sperm donor and his disgusting and selfish attitude. It's not worth the misery it will cause you.

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    Default need help re suing for child support with no name on birth certificate

    Quote Originally Posted by charlottesmama View Post
    why do they do this?
    can a father seriously not care whether his child eats or has clothing or a roof over their head?
    how can they fight to not take care of their own flesh and blood i dont understand?
    Yes unfortunately.
    I know how hard it is as I've been there myself but I seriously think you need to just let it go.
    It's bullsh!t and unfair but probably not worth the sh!tfight.
    I claimed exemption and haven't received anything for 3 years. I just had to deal with the situation.
    Fortunately I've since repartnered and my fiancé has taken the girls on as his own and helps with all financial needs.

    I really hope you can some how sort it out.

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    There is some really odd advice in this thread.

    Child support is not based on a birth certificate. There are several ways of establishing parentage. The CSA, to my knowledge, woud be very unlikely to discourage you from persuing child support. Centrelink compel you to seek child support. It is up to him to prove he is not the father, not the other way round. My child's father left the country when I was 6weeks pregnant and still has to pay child support. I did need to go to court and have parentage testing but legal aid did it all.

    Child support is in no way related to access to your child. If he has no interest in being a father and has been threatening towards you he should not have access to your child. If he makes any threats you report them and make sure he doesn't knw where you are. Many men get very angry about child support because it is a constant reminder that they are being a bad father. They get over it as they get used to it.

    Child support is only back dated to when you apply for it.

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  13. #18
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    I don't get the whole "it's up to the father to prove he's not". It should be both parties.. and they split the bill. Child support IS linked to access too by the way. Child support can go down depending on how much time is spent with the father.

    The father will have rights to see the child whether that be supervised access or not.

  14. #19
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    Of course they shouldn't split the bill! What happens is that if he is the father, and denies it, he pays for the test. If he isn't the father, she pays. Women usually know who then father of their child is. Why should a woman pay for a test to prove she isn't a liar??

    Child support is not linked access; paying it, or not paying it, does not give a parent any more parental responsibility than they already have. It makes no difference whatsoever to whether they have access. How much CS they pay does vary, but much less than you would think. If access is supervised or not is also nothing to do with financial arrangements. And CS is payable by both parents, not just fathers. So women may end up paying men, if they earn more, depending on where the children spend their time.

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    I think the CS-access thing was in regards to if the father starts paying CS and decides he wants to be nasty and pay less, he can push for more visitation to drop the CS rate.
    And yep it did make quite abit of difference to my CS when the access % was changed (CSA entered it wrong!), and my ex is on much less than $100k.


 

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