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  1. #1
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    Default Newbie!

    Hi guys,

    Found this site and I thought it was awesome that there's such a group out there for folks wanting to do same sex parenting!

    I'm 28 and my partner is 27, we're both going through a second period of studying but will both be finished end of next year! (Though I'm majorly struggling with the lack of money and no life and just wanting to throw it in at this stage haha). We both really want a family and I had always thought that it would happen for me before I was 30, now I'm worried that it won't! If it was up to just me I'd be wanting to try sooner rather than later but she really wants to wait until after finishing study before we start looking and considering.

    More and more lately though I've started to become worried that I won't be able to have kids, or that my fertility is decreasing. I know it seems a bit insubstantial but it's something that really has me worried. Has anyone experienced this before? Did they do something about it? Is it something that you can really go to a doctor about and be tested or is there more to it than that?

    Woudl you also say that looking into sperm donors now is a bit premature? How long before you actually start the process should you start looking for someone? (we are really wanting to try the home insemination)

    Thanks for reading my rather worry wart post!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    Hey!

    I'll just tell you a little about my story as we have some similarities and some differences. My partner and I are a little bit younger than you and your partner (22 & 23) but things happened sort of in the same way. About 2 years into our relationship I found I couldn't stop thinking about babies! I told my DP that I wanted children and she said she did too! So bad!

    We had a few choices. AI at home with a known sperm donor, ai with a sperm donor we'd recruited online, iui at a clinic with a sperm donor, iui with anon frozen sperm. Each had their advantages and disadvantages.

    AI at home with a know sperm donor: Relatively cost effective. Don't have to pay for anything but sterile cups and syringes. Had to track own ovulation. Tensions could arise in the future with our known donor. Medical checks etc.

    AI with a recruited donor from online: Cost effective. Track own ovulations. Some genuine guys. Lots of creeps. Medical checks etc.

    IUI with known: Expensive. They do ovulation tracking. Gotta wait 6 months to use known sperm to rule out STD's etc.

    IUI with frozen donor sperm: Expensive. Expensive sperm! Medical checks. Complete legal security and peace of mind. They check fertility, track ovulation. Large selection of healthy donors with what we're looking for!

    We first thought we wanted AI at home but then we decided that a clinic was going to be best for us! It took six months of solid research for us to decide what we wanted to do so we booked to see a fertility specialist. We waited 3 months for that appointment and things went badly between a rude receptionist and incompetent workers. Obviously we changed clinics before even one IUI!

    So realistically, it took us like 10 months to arrive at this stage! I'd say when it comes to these things - follow your heart!

    Sorry for the long post.
    Last edited by ElementalDuty; 26-10-2012 at 16:03.

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    Hey,
    Iv been asked the same question recently by a friend and really wish somebody had given us some of the same advice! We had been together for a year when we decided to register for an anonymous sperm donor at our local reproduction clinic in Perth,we both knew we wanted children and thought that we should get started due to our ages (29 and 36)...2.5 years later and we are still waiting on the list!!! Fortunatly we found a family friend that was willing to donate, and we are currently 4 weeks pregnant after doing an at home insemination.We have still not even been contacted by the fertility clinic about our place on the list!! You and your partner are already in a committed relationship,you dont need to be ready right now-but take the appropriate steps to get started before you really get desperate....just another extremely frustrating thing about being in love with the same sex...you totally end up resenting the ease at which "straight people" can start their families!
    Good luck when the time comes.xx

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    Default been there done that…doing it again

    Hi,

    My partner and I recently (Jun 15th) endured a very unfortunate miscarriage at 12 weeks. It was our 3rd try via 'home insemination' using an 'anon' - 'but known' to us sperm donor. We are now about to try again after a few mths off on my next cycle, which is very very soon. all I can offer is - it is a very hard process to go through, wondering if 'this' cycle is the one - having two peoples emotions at play…but all it really relies upon is your own strength and love to help pull you through. I believe that this time it will work.. for some reason i truly believe we will have a blessing..our blessing…in our arms next year. My partner and I recently got married in NZ - as you know gay marriage is legal there!yay!!! we live in the northern territory, but travel to and from Melbourne for our 'donor' sperm. I wish you all luck, and hope to see you on the boards with some awesome positive baby news!!!


 

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