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  1. #11
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    Default Undercover: would you stay or go?

    Quote Originally Posted by ML12 View Post
    Thanks for the replies. Basically how I felt anyway.

    He is staying with his parents for the time being, I quite like our place as the rent is cheap and it's very nice but I won't stay here being in such close proximity to his family. I don't know if he would stay there or move back here once I left, I don't really care either. Just a matter of finding a new place!
    Good on you, all the best xx

  2. #12
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    Firstly, big hugs to you for being brave enough to talk about this horrible situation

    i have never been in a situation like yours so I can only give you my honest opinion.

    It sounds to me that this relationship is not worth trying to fix or to rescue. Your DP is not treating you in a way that a loving DP should. He is behaving like a teenager and not a responsible father. I think you have been more than flexible and caring towards him with nothing in return.

    its time to start a new life without DP. You deserve a whole lot more in life and your DS deserves a happy Mum and a happy home.

    At the end of the day it is your choice to make. Just know that there are lots of hubbers thinking of you!

  3. #13
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    Default Undercover: would you stay or go?

    You seem strong and capable and I think you've already made your decision. I hope you draw on your obvious inner strength and go through with it. Best of luck
    Hugs

  4. #14
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    Default Undercover: would you stay or go?

    Quote Originally Posted by ML12 View Post
    Thanks for the replies. Basically how I felt anyway.

    He is staying with his parents for the time being, I quite like our place as the rent is cheap and it's very nice but I won't stay here being in such close proximity to his family. I don't know if he would stay there or move back here once I left, I don't really care either. Just a matter of finding a new place!
    Just wanted to offer some big hugs.

    I agree with the others - it really does sound like you already know what you want.

    Read your OP every time you doubt yourself and regain that courage!

    All the best.

  5. #15
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    He sounds like he's got issues. For a start he's very possessive of you, he's extremely insecure hence the 3rd degrees and incessant questions about the status of your relationship. He is also abusive by putting you down and immature I must say. I'm not trying to bash on him but just telling you how I see him from what you've mentioned.
    You only have two options, some serious counseling, or you leave. If you leave I suggest getting your family's help as from what you've mentioned he has an unrational attachment to his son (does not know how to express the feelings and is very controlling possessive of him too) I would be afraid of his reaction to the separation.
    on the other hand I must tell you about DH and I. We met when he was barely 20yr old and living at home, I had been on my own for years and had my own place. When we moved in together he had never paid a bill cooked dinner or did a load o washing. At one point a couple of years later I was supporting us both, he lost his job quit uni and would just sit at home doing nothing! While I worked and took care of the house and cooked, it got so bad I really thought he was depressed like your partner he was not nice to me and became insecure... I tried to be patient but it all got to be too much, I packed my bag and told him I was going on a holiday and that when I came back if he didn't have a job and a different attitude we'd have to separate. When I came back I was convinced it was over but gave him some time to prove himself (he had a job and seemed more happy) anyway we are now married and have DD, he has a very good job and a career, he's very loving and helps out when I need him, he's a wonderful husband. I'm telling you this because sometimes boys need a good kick in the behind to grow up and become men.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ciaomamma For This Useful Post:

    ML12  (18-10-2012),~ElectricPink~  (27-10-2012)

  7. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by babycart View Post
    Read your OP every time you doubt yourself and regain that courage!
    Yes, do this. Good luck! It really sounds like you will be overwhelmingly better off!

  8. #17
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    Default Undercover: would you stay or go?

    OP I'm so sorry you have had such a rough time!! From your post there don't seem to be any reasons to try and work things out! I think you will be so much better off and happier on your own!! I wish you all the best and hope things get so much better for you!!!

  9. #18
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    Default Re: Undercover: would you stay or go?

    I know you think you'll be miserable either way, but you won't. If you leave him things will be hard, but only for a short time. He is emotionally abusing you & it's not good for your son to be around that. Would you be happy for your son to treat his partner like this? He isn't supporting you financially, emotionally or helping with your son; partners are supposed to enhance your life and happiness, not bring you down.

    Get out, you deserve better!

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

  10. #19
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    Ummm... Why are you still there?

  11. #20
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    Default Undercover: would you stay or go?

    Yes I would leave!!

    Financial abuse and emotional abuse would be no way tolerated!

    I would try and forgive or work it out with DH for anything else but NOT those 2 things.

    Last edited by waterlily; 18-10-2012 at 12:35.


 

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