sd moved in with us 2 months ago as her mum moved to sydney. she had been mucking up prior to this..running away, truancy etc. she is 13.
over the holidays i find out she has been using pot and possibly other drugs. i found this out through her fb as i gained access to it. upon finding this out and dh not really stepping up i put my foot down and said she has to go as i have a duty of care to my own 3 kids and also my job as a family day carer. he took it on himself to contact her mum abotu organising when to take her there to live. that weekend she took off again and didn't turn up from 2 days. all i had was her fb info asking people for pot and telling others how high she is and drunk. dh found her on the sunday at a friends house and took her that day to live in sydney. not even a week there and she already ran off from her mum at the shops. then constantly disobeyed her mum by having friends over at the apartment during the day ( they were living with other people who owned the apartment) when asked not to. by saturday she took off not telling her mum where she was and turned her phone off. however she rings dh and tells him to pick her up from sydney because she hates it there. he alomost went then and there. mind you him and i have been fighting for a few days on a different issue. he didn't end up going that day but did the next day. rang me whil ei was at a party with our 3 kids and tell me he is on his way to sydney to get her, take her to his parents house , come back here, look for a place to live and will move out with her. no discussion at all. so we;ve been fighting even more since then. he thinks nothing is wrong with that arrangement at allhe doens' teven plan on parenting her properly still though, and said he can't stop her hanging out with her friends when she wants to or going out at night. says he'll see our kids all the time then go back to his new place. our 4 yr old is already affected by what is going on with everything. he thinks the world of dh and i kow it will kill him to not have him here. and even worse if it's to live with sd. we can't even afford it, at all.
her mother is willing to take her on still and is very angry at dh for picking sd up. it wasn't even discussed with her. he basically went, picked her up from the friends house she was staying at and left. no clothes,nothing.
meanwhile she is missing more school at his parents house while he chooses what he wants to do. i've given him the option of making her see the term out in sydney and prove to him she wants to change. not jsut words, but staying at school, not getting suspended, getting off drugs, seeing a counsellor, and not running away. but he won't do it. instead he'd prefer to screw our family up and move out