I had an uncomfortable conversation with my mum today and just feel bad about it now. Not really expecting any advice, just wanted to get it off my chest and out of my head...
I work in a family business with my Parents. I'm expecting my first baby early next year and plan to be a SAHM. My DH is fine with this and this is a much wanted baby that we tried for years for, so you can imagine my excitement and enthusiasm.
I've made it clear at work that when I leave at the end of the year I won't be coming back, I often get lumped with the jobs know one else wants or things other people don't get done. I've explained that I won't be on call to help out, my baby comes first, but I don't know if they're really listening and getting what I'm saying. I've offered to train someone else before I leave but I keep hearing "we'll manage" but then I worry they won't and will be relying on me.
Anyway today at work Mum says to me "after your baby is born you can come in one day a week and I'll stay home with the baby", I just laughed it off and was like "I don't think so, that's not the plan" and hoped shed let it go but she didn't and said it like 4 more times about all the things she would get to do when she stayed home with the baby.
I didn't want to be rude but that's not my plan. My mum and I have a strained relationship and although she did her best she wasn't the best mum to me and I have a lot of issues because of things that happened growing up. My philosophy of parenthood is basically do the opposite of my mum, so although she will be welcome in the child's life as a grandparent I have no intentions of letting her raise my child.
So anyway I got annoyed and said in no uncertain terms that's not going to happen, I won't be leaving baby with her or anyone else, I'll be staying home and looking after baby myself. Then it was just awkward and she looked upset and now as usual I feel guilty but also frustrated. Ugh!! Anyway I feel a bit better just having written it down.