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  1. #21
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    Default How to change the surname of my DD? Can't get consent from birth father....

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopefully Waiting View Post
    I did see that in the guidelines but as I said in the first post we've been advised to let 'sleeping dogs lie'. If we apply to the court for ANYTHING we run the risk of the custody arrangement being changed. Its a really long complicated legal mess that I cant go into but I really appreciate your help. Thanks !
    Oh wow... That sounds tough. So sorry.
    Wishing you all the best.

  2. #22
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    Default How to change the surname of my DD? Can't get consent from birth father....

    Just be careful about the affect this can have on the child. It can be seen as an intentional move to alienate a child from their bio parent and replace them with the new man in mum's life. And every child has a right to know they are a part of their bio parent even if that parent doesn't have full custody.

    My hubby had divorced parents, the mum had full custody (dad had visitation in holidays) and one year his mum hyphenated hubby's name at school. He hated it. It screamed "I'm from a broken home" and hubby later came to resent the fact the mother was trying to force a new dad on him. The mother chose a new hubby, the kid didn't chose a new dad. To be honest the step dad would have been better off just trying to spend quality time with the hubby and forgetting about the name change.

  3. #23
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    Default How to change the surname of my DD? Can't get consent from birth father....

    I'm fairly sure not seeing your child for 6 years is intentionally alienating.
    Having their name changed doesn't mean you are taking rights away for them to know who their biological parent is.

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    Hopefully Waiting  (17-10-2012)

  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    Oh wow... That sounds tough. So sorry.
    Wishing you all the best.
    No problem, thanks for your information. I guess its a different situation in the first place, and then in QLD also.

  6. #25
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    Default How to change the surname of my DD? Can't get consent from birth father....

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Just be careful about the affect this can have on the child. It can be seen as an intentional move to alienate a child from their bio parent and replace them with the new man in mum's life. And every child has a right to know they are a part of their bio parent even if that parent doesn't have full custody.

    My hubby had divorced parents, the mum had full custody (dad had visitation in holidays) and one year his mum hyphenated hubby's name at school. He hated it. It screamed "I'm from a broken home" and hubby later came to resent the fact the mother was trying to force a new dad on him. The mother chose a new hubby, the kid didn't chose a new dad. To be honest the step dad would have been better off just trying to spend quality time with the hubby and forgetting about the name change.
    My brothers were desperate to take on my dad's name.

    Each case is different. If the child wants it, I don't see a problem with it.

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    Hopefully Waiting  (17-10-2012)

  8. #26
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    Default How to change the surname of my DD? Can't get consent from birth father....

    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    My brothers were desperate to take on my dad's name.

    Each case is different. If the child wants it, I don't see a problem with it.
    Most kids aren't mature enough to fully comprehend the implications and may resent things down the track. It's a decision that should not be put on a kids shoulders (unless the dad is 100% absent or is abusive). The parents chose to separate and move on, the kids didn't.

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    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    I say this without meaning to offend you. But it sounds like you want to change your DD's name because it's convenient for you and to "match" the rest of your family. Please correct me if I'm wrong though.
    Unfortunately unless it is truly affecting your child a court won't even consider it.
    You need to show that it is the best interest of the child and have this in writing and loads of evidence.
    A court psychologist will pick up in 5 minutes whether it's really an issue for your child.
    If the child still has contact with the bio dad it's a very high % rate that a judge orders just a hyphenated name.
    Partly, but it's only been a consideration since my DD would refer to herself as DD X (being my partners surname). She has my name anyway, refers to my partner as daddy which was her choice not ours, as he has been part of her life since before she can remember. I wouldn't go to court over it, just wanting to know if I could change it without bio fathers consent, as I'm pretty sure he doesn't give a damn what her name is and has never raised the fact I gave her my surname but I can bet my bottom dollar it suddenly would be if I raised the issue with him. My partners first wife lived her whole life under an assumed name, in fact their marriage certificate is signed with her assumed name. So we would probably just do that otherwise since thats what DD calls herself and yes I admit when it comes to school etc it is easier and given she calls my partner daddy it's much more preferable than explaining our very complicated blended family to every tom, **** and harry.

  10. #28
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    Default How to change the surname of my DD? Can't get consent from birth father....

    From what I can gather from op, the child is at least 8, and IMO old enough to decide her name!

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    Hopefully Waiting  (18-10-2012)

  12. #29
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    I wish more women would actually consider giving the children their surname.... Sorry OP a bit off-topic just sayin. It was a no-brainier for me. I live that he has my surname


 

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