+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 29
  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    883
    Thanks
    94
    Thanked
    95
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default How to change the surname of my DD? Can't get consent from birth father....

    Hi there

    Im divorced from my DD's father (thank goodness) and both herself and I have his surname. We were married when she was born so he is on her birth certificate.

    Ive researched into changing her name legally to reflect my current partners surname (we will be getting married one day) and our baby who I am expecting now will have my partners surname.

    I know I cant change DD's surname legally without ex DH's consent (grrrrr) even though I have a court order for full custody and he has limited visitation.

    So, I have a friend who has hyphenated their childs surname but not changed it legally. She has used the hyphenated name for a long time and eventually dropped the original surname, and she is now known by her step dads surname (but not changed legally).
    For example: *this IS an example, not the childs name!*
    - original name Mary Smith
    - mum got remarried and hyphenated the name to Mary Smith- Jones
    - after a while, is now known as Mary Jones and has been for some time.

    I dont want to have to go to court or anything as the ex is a horrible person and I do not want to stir the pot legally (its a very long story). Its been over 6 years since he has seen DD which suits us fine as my partner now has been her Daddy since she was 2.

    Any ideas?

    Thanks

    HW
    Last edited by Hopefully Waiting; 17-10-2012 at 05:48.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1,342
    Thanks
    595
    Thanked
    395
    Reviews
    6
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    You cant change it legally as you know, but you can just call it an assumed name.
    So Mary Smith is her legal name, but she is known by Mary Brown. On a lot of school booking in forms that have a space for that too I noticed.
    Technically, you can be called anything you want, but changing it legally is an entirely different matter and Im pretty sure that all official things need to reflect the name on the birth cert. When your child grows up and wants to change it legally (if they do) then they have already met the criteria of having been known by that name for over a year.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,448
    Thanks
    199
    Thanked
    741
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default How to change the surname of my DD? Can't get consent from birth father....

    Myself and DF are currently going through this process since he has been the one to raise the girls with me and they call him Dad.

    As PP said she can go by an assumed name under common law. My DD's are known as my DF's surname and are enrolled in preschool under that name.

    However we have to have it changed legally to enroll them into primary school and for all formal documents.

    My solicitor has said it will be better if we are married but that isn't happening until March 2014 now as we also have a baby on the way.
    You can however change your surname to his prior to getting married, this was also suggested to us to help.

    My ex will not be able to contest (complicated story) but his "guardian" can although they would not bother. It still has to go through court.

    It would also work in your favour him not having seen her for 6 years.
    Bit of a ramble but HTH.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Point Cook
    Posts
    985
    Thanks
    136
    Thanked
    468
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Re: How to change the surname of my DD? Can't get consent from birth father....

    My ex-aunt just started using my uncle's surname for my cousin (child from a previous relationship). She used it for everything as she got older (driver's license, etc). It was only when she tried to get a passport that she discovered that it wasn't her 'legal' surname. But because every other bit of id had the assumed surname she ended up changing it by deed poll.

    Sent from my U8860 using BubHub

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Sautéed with bacon
    Posts
    6,070
    Thanks
    271
    Thanked
    2,695
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default How to change the surname of my DD? Can't get consent from birth father....

    You can change it without his permission. I've just been through the process.
    You need to apply to the federal magistrates court with an initiating application, an affidavit and lots and lots of evidence as to WHY it will be in the best interests of the child.
    If he hasn't seen her or 6 years you have a pretty good case.
    How old is she? Does she express her desire to change it?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    88
    Thanks
    54
    Thanked
    28
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    You can change it without his permission. I've just been through the process.
    You need to apply to the federal magistrates court with an initiating application, an affidavit and lots and lots of evidence as to WHY it will be in the best interests of the child.
    If he hasn't seen her or 6 years you have a pretty good case.
    How old is she? Does she express her desire to change it?
    Interesting, I didn't know this.

    Just wondering would she have more success with this if her DD was to have her surname (as opposed to the new hubby's)?

    At the risk of being a total PITA here and a little off topic, but have you considered keeping your maiden name and giving your children your name? Especially after the first experience... I'm surprised you still plan to change all your names again that's all.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Sautéed with bacon
    Posts
    6,070
    Thanks
    271
    Thanked
    2,695
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default How to change the surname of my DD? Can't get consent from birth father....

    Yes. The mothers surname will always make a more relevant case. A lot of judges will end up hyphenating the name. However if the father has played absolutely no role, and the new partner has been around for years and it is honestly affecting the child, a name change to the step fathers name would be considered.
    I used a lawyer for my case but it's possible just to do it on your own.
    You need to show that it is the best interest of the child. Not about any malice between you and the ex.
    A child psychologist may also be appointed to talk to the child.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    12,957
    Thanks
    590
    Thanked
    867
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Sorry to crash the thread, but I'm wondering if you still need permission from the father to change a surname even if you have sole custody/sole parental responsibility (final orders) I was under the impression you don't. I've been thinking about changing my kids names, well just dropping a name, they currently have my name and my ex's name (hyphenated) I want to drop his surname off the end and just have it as mine (he doesn't see them at all)
    Can I do this?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    694
    Thanks
    120
    Thanked
    116
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Re: How to change the surname of my DD? Can't get consent from birth father....

    My DP has his step dads name legally. His mother basically applied and they sent a permission slip type thing to DP BF and he didn't reply in the 28 day period so the courts allowed the name change. It also helped that he was known by his step dads name since he was 3 yrs old. All his school enrolments were in that name and his BF had nothing to do with him since he was 2

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    374
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked
    2
    Reviews
    0
    I'm interested in this too. My DD has my surname (her bio father has had little to do with her, although sees her about once every 2 months) and I now have another child with my current partner and we're getting married next year. I want to change DD's surname, so that we are all the same. Her dad isn't on the BC but there is a court order stating he is the father for child support purposes.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Separated - father at birth or not?
    By Pesca77 in forum Birth & Labour Questions
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 20-10-2012, 11:01
  2. Surname change for children
    By Kayteigh in forum Single Parents
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 24-09-2012, 08:23
  3. My Doctor tied my tubes without consent
    By WantToHelp in forum Conception issues & ttc
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 03-02-2012, 22:23

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Nice Pak Products
Australian Made and Owned. The Baby U Goat Milk Skincare range is enriched with soothing goats milk sourced from country, Victoria. Goat's milk has a pH level close to that of our own skin and contains natural sources of amino acids and vitamins.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Billington Street
For stationery as unique as you are! ♥ Handmade, custom designed stationery for all of life's celebrations
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!