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  1. #11
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    My mum was diagnosed with emphysema at 62. The specialist says it was from being exposed to her fathers second hand smoke for the first 4 years until he was kicked outside to smoke by nan. So no not unreasonable.

  2. #12
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    Personally? I think you are right to be concerned. When I was first attending ob appointments with my first child (18 years ago now) the ob asked me, "Do you smoke?" When I kept denying it, she said, "its just you smell REALLY strongly of smoke and I wanted to discuss the danger to your baby." I really DIDN'T smoke, it was actually my mother who smoked and her second hand smoke was ALL over me. My mom smoked in the house, in the car, around me when we were walking etc.
    The dr told me all the dangers, and then at my request wrote my mother a note on a prescription form regarding all the dangers.
    At first, my mom thought I was being rude about her smoking, and then when I handed her all the information, she changed her mind. She never smoked around me while pregnant again, and would warn me she was going out for a smoke so to stay away til she was done.
    She never allowed anyone to smoke around me, OR my kids after that either
    If you have a positive approach to it, hopefully your MIL will understand what you are saying.
    If you put it to her that you aren't pushing her to give up smoking (even if you secretly want her to!!) but that she change her smoking habits in order to help you keep your precious baby safe, she may be a bit more understanding. Especially if you DO give her the hand outs from the healthcare people.

  3. #13
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    Default Re: am i being unreasonable?

    my ex inlaws had smoking jackets. they wear them when they smoke outside and take them off and leave them outside. that was their compromise in our case. it worked quite well. even the house smelt better.

  4. #14
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    OMG thanks for asking this question OP. I have just been googling third hand smoke and it is seriously scary!! My MIL is a smoker as well and while she smokes outside her house positively reeks of smoke, she has even sent up clothes for the new bub and when I opened the envelope the smell of smoke was overwelming. Thank goodness she lives 2 states away but I think I will be showing my DH this information on third hand smoking as he will want to take the new baby and DS to visit his mum.

  5. #15
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    My 2 sisters and my brother in law all smoke and it concerns me that often my niece (daughter of one of the smoking sisters) is often outside running around while they're smoking out there. They hold their cigarettes up in the air when she comes close but I really don't think that would be any different to holding in her face if I can smell it from 10 metres away.
    They're so defensive when I mention their smoking regarding their own health, but I'm worried that they'll be as blasé about smoking in close proximity to my bub when she's born. I wish my parents would be a bit strict on them as we're usually all at mum and dads at the same time on weekends and I wish they'd make them go out the front to smoke so the rest of the family can stay out the back. I was diagnosed with asthma at 2 and missed so much school and even had to cancel my own birthday parties a few times because of it, and I don't want my little girl to go through the same so want to reduce her exposure to smoke as much as possible! Sorry this has just turned into my own vent lol!

  6. #16
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    No you're not being unreasonable at all. It's her right to smoke how ever much she wants, whenever she wants but it is YOUR choice who is around your baby.

  7. #17
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    When I was pregnant whenever we visited in-laws that smoked they'd all go outside. Sometimes I'd sit out there with them, other times not. It was actually my MIL (who smokes) that made it a rule. We'd let her know when we were coming so she could air out the house a few hours before. And if someone so much as pulled out their pack inside, she'd tell them to go outside!

    Obviously it's your MIL's choice. But I think it's personally completely acceptable to come up with a compromise. It's like any relationship - a two way street! I would suggest asking her to smoke outside. The weather is really nice these days so she should be fine with that. Washing hands and changing tops is a good idea as well.

  8. #18
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    Default Re: am i being unreasonable?

    I would feel exactly the same. I dont allow smoking around my child. Perfectly reasonable imo

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

  9. #19
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    Default am i being unreasonable?

    Totally reasonable. This topic really makes me cranky, if someone wants to smoke that's their choice but why put others at risk in the process?? It's rude, selfish and just plain wrong IMO.

    OP I would stay away from your MILs place and insist she not smoke when she visits the baby. The risks are well documented. If she chooses smoking over her grandchild then there's not much you an do about it. It might be worth starting to enforce the rule now while you're pregnant so it's understood and sorted before bub arrives.

  10. #20
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    Default Re: am i being unreasonable?

    i felt sad today when saw a woman smoking about 40cm away from her toddler that was standing in a trolly eating donuts. he got the smoke full on in his face and didnt seemed fussed. its not just newborns that i get upset about


 

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