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  1. #21
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    Probably.

    when ex and I split, i considered having another baby with him because i wanted DS to have a sibling.

    If you are both on the same page, then I don't see why not...lots of people have babies in bad relationships or when single and i don't see this as any different.

    I would also look at counselling...but, if you are prepared to do it alone...i don't see why not.

  2. #22
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    Personally, I wouldn't.

    As a previous post mentioned (Lttleriv I think?) it's not so much about the 'having 2 parents in the same house' thing, that's neither here nor there. You've said yourself youre not in a good place. Choosing to get pregnant when you know you're not doing well emotionally is a pretty selfish thing. You have no idea how you might cope and being pregant is likely to exacerbate any emotional issues you're having, not to mention how you'll feel if your relationship ends during the pregnancy.

    A couple of people have also brought up the financial aspect which is very relevant too I feel. If you have this third child and split up will you be able to raise the child on just yours and your husbands money or will you be relying on some kind of govenmet payment to cover the costs? Because if you can both afford it it's one thing, but choosing the get pregnant again if you know for a fact you wont be able to afford it is pretty dodgy...

    Either work on fixing the relationship, or end the relationship and work on being 2 great single parents to the 2 kids you have would be my advice if I knew you in real life.

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  4. #23
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    I'd go for it. If when separated you're able to stay good friends, supportive and happily co-parent, and all of your children would be loved, wanted and looked after as best as possible, then I really don't see the problem.

    I actually find the idea that children shouldn't be brought into the world without a mother and father in a happy traditional relationship to be a little offensive...

  5. #24
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    Default Issues with DP but want another baby.

    Quote Originally Posted by Baburun View Post
    I'd go for it. If when separated you're able to stay good friends, supportive and happily co-parent, and all of your children would be loved, wanted and looked after as best as possible, then I really don't see the problem.

    I actually find the idea that children shouldn't be brought into the world without a mother and father in a happy traditional relationship to be a little offensive...
    The first part of what you said is very rare!

    I disagree with what the op suggests not because of any notions of traditional relationships but because the op acknowledges they are having problems and it would potentially be hard on her and the existing children to go through a break up while mum's attention, it's deliberately walking into a very hard situation and putting existing kids through that.

  6. #25
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    Default Issues with DP but want another baby.

    Quote Originally Posted by Baburun View Post

    I actually find the idea that children shouldn't be brought into the world without a mother and father in a happy traditional relationship to be a little offensive...
    I don't think people are saying kids shouldn't be brought into the world without a mother and father... People are against knowingly bringing a child into the middle of a crappy, deteriorating relationship. To me it wouldn't matter if that involved a dad and mum, two mums or two dads. It's wrong.

  7. #26
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    Default Issues with DP but want another baby.

    I have a child that came from a broken relationship. Seeing what can happen I would never willingly create a child that will have to deal with that situation.

    Having more kids might be important but giving them a good start in life is more important and bringing them into a failing relationship is a horribly selfish idea IMO.


 

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