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  1. #1
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    Default Our little Sweet Pea is gone, now what

    Just fell so numb right now. Had a u/s yesterday at 6w6d after some light bleeding. To find out our little one had no hb, how could that happen there was one there at 5w3d. The ladies that did it was so quick not even 2 mins.
    Now i have till next thursday to is if i mc myself or have to have a d&c next friday.
    I am so lost right now, this is my 1st mc and dont know what to expect

  2. #2
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    I'm so sorry. I've never been through a mc but I couldn't read and not offer support. Big hugs xxx

  3. #3
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    I am really sorry for your loss too. I haven't been in your situation either but just wanted to say that I wish you you and your family all the best. Hugs.

  4. #4
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    Oh no I'm so sorry I hope your ok

  5. #5
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    I'm so sorry.

    I've been in a similar situation at 8.5 weeks. I had a heartbeat, but it was a slow one, and then at the next appointment it had stopped. I was given a week to see if I would miscarry and was told I would need a D&C otherwise.

    I didn't miscarry, so I was sent straight to the day surgery (attached to where my FS is) for the D&C.

    The procedure was straightforward. I went to sleep under GA, and woke up with very light bleeding. They warned I might continue to bleed, and told me to use sanitary pads, but I didn't bleed at all after that initial light one.

    I felt fine - a little sore, but nothing terrible.

    The hardest part, as you will know, was the emotional one. I struggled with attending the appointment at all, as I felt that there was a baby inside me and someone was going to take it away.

    At the hospital, when checking in, we asked to be put in a separate area for recovery, and for pre-surgery, as I have previously been in wards of women with c-sections/ babies, which would have been distressing. The hospital agreed, and I was glad to be in my own private space.

    The staff were great. Every time someone asked me what I was there for, I cried. On one occasion, a nurse held my hand and cried with me.

    It's an awful awful time, and I don't think there is anything that can make it better other than just time passing and moving forward. I saw a counsellor afterwards, which I think helps. Some people do something symbolic to mark that baby's life - even just lighting a candle at home. This was suggested to me, but I didn't do it. I'm not sure why - just didn't feel like something I wanted to do.

    I hope you have lots of support around. Be very gentle with yourself and allow yourself to cry. Also know that whatever you feel is okay, and if at times you forget for a while, or you feel happy, then don't feel bad about that. It's a cliche, but time heals. Look after yourself while you're healing.

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  7. #6
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    Sorry for your loss.

    I lost my first pregnancy at 6 weeks. It was confirmed that the pregnancy wasn't viable on a Friday and I miscarried naturally on the following Monday. It was quite painful for a few hours and then it was just like a period. I think it's probably a bit different for everyone but that was how it was for me.

    If you do miscarry naturally just make sure you get checked afterwards. I had a scan and BTs to make sure the hormones were dropping back to normal and nothing was left behind.

    It is such a horrible thing to go through so take some time out for yourself and give it time. I saw a counsellor and that really helped.

  8. #7
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    I am so sorry for your loss. I just had a mc at 9wks which was awful as we'd seen the HB twice at 6 & 7 wks.
    It was painful for two hours, til the clots finished passing. Then the bleeding was like a period.

    I agree get yourself checked over if you do mc naturally. I ended up with a D&C three days after as a clot was stuck in there.. long story short I ended up very sick. A week after the D&C I stopped bleeding.

    *hugs* Its such a sad time to have to go through.

  9. #8
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    Sorry for your loss. I know how you are feeling because I have just gone through the same thing yesterday myself and this is my second m/c, both times same thing occurred. We went for scan to be told that both times the hb was low and needed a follow up ultrasound the following week to confirm viability. Both times went back to find no heartbeat. Last time I went back 2 weeks later and nothing had changed from the first scan and I still hadn't miscarried naturally. I went to the hospital and was booked in the same day for a d&c. I had to go to the hospital last night to get an anti-D injection as my blood group is negative. I have an appointment Monday with the hospital and would like to have another d&C as I don't know when, how, where etc the miscarriage may happen. They told me if I start bleeding heavy to go straight in and get checked.

    Both times I was told it was pretty much up to me if I wanted to wait or have d&C. I struggle as I'm sure a lot of people do having my baby inside me knowing that it is not alive and emotionally needing to try and move on and felt I couldn't get on with my life knowing that it's still not over. Hence why I want to have a d&c this time too. Also my work doesn't know what is going on so that it makes it hard.

  10. #9
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. We found out on 2/10 that our little one had stopped growing at 7w3d and had no hb. I waited until Friday to miscarry naturally, had D&C on Friday. It was a huge relief when I woke up, knowing that terrible wait was over. Sad, of course, but free to grieve and process it more so now.I hope you have good support x

  11. #10
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    Thanks ladies, i have a awesome amount of support (husband and my parents).
    I started to m/c by myself on saturday with really bad (felt like labor pains) for around 2 hours of so. It have settled down now to a mild peroid pain now. It's a horrible thing to go through, one min your so happy and next your cry at a drop of a hat.
    Back to the hospital on thursday to make sure i have passed it all, fingers crossed i dont need a d&c.
    Thanks again for all your support xox


 

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