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  1. #1
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    and all that the Lorax left here in this mess was a small pile of rocks with the one word...UNLESS
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    Default How much has changed since the start of the start of last century?

    I came across a book in my ABC shop (on the bargain table) which relays rules for mothers which were actually published in the Ladies Homemaker Monthly, which was a journal of the early 1900's. Most famous adage was:

    You can judge a good woman by the respect and obedience she commands from her children.
    Makes me realise that while we all think we get judged a lot by others for our parenting, women over time have always been judged on their parenting, but now we're freer to discuss our difficulties and hopefully learn from them, not feel so alone if we are having difficulties and to get comfort and support from others.

    I'll enter the 19 tips for keeping a happy home here. Please note, these are quotes from the book which I bought as a joke but were really published. They are not my quotes, and definitely not how I feel

  2. #2
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    and all that the Lorax left here in this mess was a small pile of rocks with the one word...UNLESS
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    Default Rule #1 A child is born

    A woman never feels more beautiful, more blissfully radiant, than on the day she welcomes her bundle of joy. The minor discomfort of childbirth is Mother Nature's way of testing your maternal mettle, but you'll come out the victor when you greet your recent "tenant" of nine months with your best face forward. Rest assured, a dash of rouge and a freshly crimsoned pout will have you feeling right as rain once Mr. Stork has made his delivery.

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  4. #3
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    and all that the Lorax left here in this mess was a small pile of rocks with the one word...UNLESS
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    Default Rule #2 No More Tears

    Don't let crying, tantrums and general fussiness (from you or your child) drag your household into a chaotic quagmire. Babies are inherently happy cherubs who thrive on love and laughter. Before you resort to pacifiers and other coddling gimmicks to quell your child's cries, first ask yourself: How have my shortcomings caused my little angel distress? Like the world's best clairvoyants, an attentive mother is one who can anticipate a child's needs at every turn.

  5. #4
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    and all that the Lorax left here in this mess was a small pile of rocks with the one word...UNLESS
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    Default Rule #3 Bottoms Up!

    Think your better half can man the changing table? Don't hold your breath. Or on second, thought...do. Just as your wouldn't try to train an elephant to rollerskate, be aware that men lack the means and wherewithal to cope with the more unseemly and scatological aspects of child-rearing. Sadly, diaper-duty and potty training are your domain and shall likely remain thus until the earth no longer rotates on it's axis.
    Last edited by Mod-pegasus; 12-10-2012 at 23:26.

  6. #5
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    Default Rule #4 What lies beneath

    A child's success begins with a strong foundation, in the most literal sense of the word. Perfectly ironed knickers, starched shirts and spit-polished shoes won't hide a mother's shame if and when your young'un ventures out into the world sporting day-old unmentionable. Teach your child early and often to always wear clean underwear. In the event of an emergency, you can at least rest easy in the knowledge that little Timmy's briefs are unblemished.

  7. #6
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    Default Rule #5 Safety first!

    Curiosity killed the cat, but don't let it do the same to your sons and daughters! Instruct hem on using potentially dangerous household objects with caution, and have at the ready emergency telephone numbers for your local hospital, fire and poison control centres. As a general rule of "thumb", children should be discouraged from sticking theirs into exposed electrical outlets. Ditto for running with scissors or playing near abandoned mine shafts

  8. #7
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    Default Rule #6 The "buck" stops here

    Children who are never taught to save their pennies for a rainy day run the risk of growing up to be fiduciary failures content to live on the dole or, even worse, in your basement rumpus room for the rest of their adult lives. Once you explain to them that money doesn't grow on trees, they'll be far less tempted to tap their sacred piggy banks for that trivial toy purchase. After all, today's young investor is tomorrow's Wall Street whiz!

  9. #8
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    Default Rule #8 Have a lark!

    All work and no play can leave any mother elbow'deep in the doldrums. Stave off boredom and ennui by taking a little time out for yourself, whether that entails attending a bi-annual rotary club meeting or joining your lady friends for a fierce game of bridge while the kids are napping. You might pick up a new recipe or, better yet, a tantalizing morsel of town gossip!

  10. #9
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    Default Rule #9 Oh, behave!

    "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." When it comes to disciplining your children, truer words were never spoken. Don't bear the burden of doling out punishment alone when you can just as easily pass the buck to the man who had the luxury of avoiding the little demons all day. Besides, no phrase ever set a child on the straight and narrow quite like, "Just wait till your father comes home!"

  11. #10
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    Default Oops Rule # 7 didn't post...Accidents will happen!

    Like little trouble magnets, children's propensity for risking life and limb can drive you to want to ring their little necks! Prepare yourself for bumps, bruises, skinned knees, trips to the emergency room, and moments where you'll have to channel your inner Florence Nightingale. Always remember: When your medicine chest doesn't provide relief, a little nip of whiskey should do the trick...for you, if not for them!


 

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