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  1. #11
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    Why do people do it?

    Two words.

    Cognitive dissonance.

    For example, people who want to smoke, know it's harmful, but convince themselves they probably won't suffer any consequences. It's their way of coping with conflicting beliefs.

    "She wants a natural birth. I didn't get a natural birth. Natural birth is overrated anyway". That's the logic ******.

    In short, it's their stuff, not yours. <3 Don't carry their issues on your back.

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  3. #12
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    This!
    Quote Originally Posted by Leens View Post
    Why do people do it?

    Two words.

    Cognitive dissonance. <img src="images/smilies/wink.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Wink" smilieid="92" class="inlineimg"

    For example, people who want to smoke, know it's harmful, but convince themselves they probably won't suffer any consequences. It's their way of coping with conflicting beliefs.

    &quot;She wants a natural birth. I didn't get a natural birth. Natural birth is overrated anyway&quot;. That's the logic ******.

    In short, it's their stuff, not yours. &lt;3 <img src="images/smilies/hugs.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Hugs" smilieid="35" class="inlineimg" Don't carry their issues on your back.

  4. #13
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    Hi there i had natural births for both my dd's in birth centres, and they were both big babies 9pound and 10pound best most fulfilling experiences i have ever had you go with wat you feel is best for you and your body

  5. #14
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    Good luck I think a natural birth will be a wonderful experience for you! Just be open minded if things do go quite as planned but remember your body is designed for this. Many women get to birth without drugs and intervention but many women and babies that otherwise wouldn't have made it can be saved these days - even dogs and cats can end up needing intervention and even caesarians!

    i think your decision is great tho (and this is coming from someone who is planning an elective Caesar - I'm nowhere near as brave as you and I have some other issues) Go for it girl and ignore anyone who tells you that you can't do it!

  6. #15
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    Yes! The first few people outside my family that I told (work colleagues), let loose with the you're crazy-just have a caesarean-blah blah talk. I can't imagine why people think it's acceptable/respectful to make these comments - flip it around, and I'm telling women "they're crazy" to have a caesar and bam - imagine the reaction? It's strange that natural birth is such a hate magnet.
    So! I decided I needed only positive people and thoughts around me leading up to birth, and stopped telling anyone whom I couldn't trust to show me & my choices respect. Best decision I ever made.

  7. #16
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    I agree with all the previous posters! My DD was so sleepy for the first week I had to strip her naked to wake her enough just to feed. And everytime I thought to myself how guilty I would have felt if I had drugs, and be wondering if that's why she was so sleepy. My natural birth was the hardest thing I've ever done but also the most amazing experience ever and I would do it all the exact same again. To be honest I just kept my birth plan to myself unless people asked.

  8. #17
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    Default Re: Natural birth with no drugs

    I had DD at a birth centre and received so many negative comments from family/friends including about the pain relief situation. What got to me more was people telling me how there was no way I would cope being sent home within 24hrs! (we did great btw, no issues at all)

    After the negativity about the birth centre, I certainly didn't tell people we were planning a waterbirth. I don't think I could have handled them. In the end, DD was born in the water with zero pain relief - and do you know what? At 7mths old, I still get the odd person tell me I was $tupid for not having any drugs

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  9. #18
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    One of the midwives at my Dr's surgery told me I would be better off opting for an elective c sect after I admitted to her that there was a possibility of me needing one at my booking in appointment. I was so upset and I had no one there that day to support me (DP lives elsewhere and Mum was at work). I have been told since the age of 18 that would not have a choice, that I would need a c sect because of my health history, but I then found out that there was a possibility of me having a natural birth!!! I am going to be pushing a natural birth, with the possibility of gas and air, for as long as possible.

    I told the midwife that even if I was to require a c sect I wanted to go into labour naturally before they performed the op. She told me I was an idiot! I felt like I was 5 years old again and being told that I couldnt have that toy I wanted because it was too expensive...

    I luckily have an appointment with my OB tomorrow so I will be discussing this with him, as he is very pro natural!

  10. #19
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    Default Natural birth with no drugs

    Quote Originally Posted by march2013 View Post
    Just wondering if anyone has experienced the same thing as me.
    As soon as I tell people im going to a birth centre and no drugs available (unless you transfer to high risk)
    Ive found people try and tell you stories to scare you because youve opted for no drugs.

    wondered if this is a common thing people do...??.
    Sure have. When I told my friends I was having a natural birth with no drugs, they told me I was 'crazy and would be begging for drugs as soon as I got to hospital'. They also told me that a waterbirth was 'dangerous as the baby would drown'.
    Thank you o wise friends, who have never been pregnant or had a baby.

    After my natural, drug free waterbirth, with no tears or damage to my girly bits, my friends tell me I'm 'so lucky' and 'a freak of nature' and 'A one-off birth'.

  11. #20
    resonance is offline Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. -- Helen Keller.
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    Default How I tell people about my home birth plans

    I am only telling people about my home birth plans if I care about them knowing and they ask about the specifics. If random people ask, I tell them that I'm booked into the Mater (which is true, but only as a backup).

    It seems to me that women constantly feel like they're being judged for their own choices (such as elective c-section) and so when they hear about someone choosing an alternative (such as a natural home birth), they automatically go into defensive mode, which includes, ironically, judgement of the alternative choice.

    When I have told friends about my plans, I've explained that I'm choosing home birth because it is what feels right for me, and that I think everyone should do whatever makes them feel the most comfortable. That way, the other woman knows that I'm not judging their choice, and they don't feel the need to attack mine.


 

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