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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by justthe3ofus View Post
    I'm just really surprised at the way my attitudes to motherhood have changed since actually becoming a mother
    I agree with this, I always thought I knew what it would be like to be a mum, I used to babysit neighbourhood kids and had much younger siblings I looked after. How wrong I was!!! I really have to bite my tongue when someone (without kids) airs their opinion on parenting or motherhood, because I used to be that person, saying I wouldn't do things a certain way or would only do things a certain way and now I figure whatever works and whatever makes my family happy!
    I love huggies commercials but they make me cry I have huggies moments with my kids, and I will look back on them and remember them as the best moments of being a mum, but my life is not a huggies commercial that's for sure.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maybelline View Post
    Take your time... your daughter is only very young..the first year I was all over the place..then I guess it just clicks..the real work/fun etc starts around 2yrs (I feel) ..then you find yourself again..
    I don't think you need to apologise! This is beautifully said, the first few years are so "all consuming" that I think as mums we look forward to a break (even if its just to go to the toilet in peace let alone leave the house to work etc!).
    I get what you are saying.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by CuddlesAwait View Post
    This! hahaha - loved the huggies commercial part! I always knew it would be hard work. I always knew I'd have to get up to feed DD at night, I knew there would be good days and bad days, but nothing prepared me for the reality.

    DD has silent reflux and has struggled with feeding and sleeping since birth. I did manage to breastfeed for 3 months, but it was the most uncomfortable, annoying experience - I HATED it.

    I had no idea it would be so hard to get a baby to fall asleep - that I was not prepared for. I know, I know, how naive and uneducated and clueless I was here, but I had no idea how much of a struggle it would be and how it still torments me every time DD only takes a cat nap or won't drink much of her bottle, I can't seem to get past it each time it happens, I get frustrated that yet again, no day or night has been perfect for us since DD was born. There's always a reason to be disillusioned by motherhood as it just hits home how ill prepared I actually was to be a mum.

    I've never really had any hobbies or interests, which never mattered as I spent all of my time with my husband, friends and family and that was my hobby and my life. Yes I still catch up with all of these people, but I'm lacking something to keep me sane - something outside of DD.

    We will have another child, but only because DD isn't likely to have cousins in the state we live in, and I grew up without cousins and hated it, so we want to give DD a brother or sister. I know it will be hard and draining, but I hope it's only a few years of pain for long term gain.

    My pregnancy and labour weren't really that bad, but I will be dreading those first 6-7 months possibly more of a new bub as I don't enjoy being a mum as much as I thought I would.

    I too love my DD with all of my heart and wouldn't have life any other way, but each day is a struggle. DH earns enough that I don't have to go back to work, but I do want to so that I can get a break from DD. I don't like having to hand control over her feeding and sleeping routines in the day to anyone else even though I trust my parents 100%, but going back to work is going to be just as hard.

    Don't worry you aren't alone in your feelings at all! We can just all watch TV and cringe at those horrible huggies, formula and panadol commercials, and know that there are many other mums sitting there cringing too!

    <img src="images/smilies/wave.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Wave" smilieid="41" class="inlineimg" <img src="images/smilies/hugs.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Hugs" smilieid="35" class="inlineimg"
    I could have written this. It's so good to know there are others who didn't enjoy BF...

  4. #24
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    This sh!t is hard!! No one ever tells you just how hard it is going to be!
    Thank you, reading this thread has made me realise I too am not alone.

    I did start to enjoy my DD at about 8 months old, things are still hard some days and she is almost 3! I also wasnt going to have another child but changed my mind, I went into my second pregnancy with a totally different mind set. I prepared myself for hell, I expected to not enjoy it. What surprised me is that the second time round for me has been a lot more enjoyable and I think it's a result of not having unrealistic expectations of baby bliss.

  5. #25
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    Thanks so much everyone for your input, I've loved reading your replies!

    Just to clarify, I do love being a mum. It's not that I'm not enjoying it. It's just so different to what I thought it would be!!! I'm not the mother I expected myself to be, and that is what I have found surprising. After so many years of thinking about motherhood in a certain way, it's just a lot to get your head around when it actually happens and it's nothing like you imagined. Like I said, I love it! I'm just surprised that I don't want to give up my entire life for it like I thought I would.

    It's so great to hear that so many of you with traumatic births went back for another and had a much more positive experience. I too had that 'blind faith' in my caregivers and they failed me miserably. If we do change our minds and head back for another I definitely know now I can do it 'my way'.


 

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