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  1. #1
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    Default The terrible 4's!?

    Advice needed re how to deal with my lovely 4 yr old ds's behavior whom in just the last few weeks is non compliant, have to tell him or ask him to do something repeatedly before he will do it, he is pushing and smacking me, poking his tongue out, favorite words is "no" and he hates everything all of a sudden . Someone please tell me they can relate and what how do you deal with it. I'm thinking taking away his favorite toys for a period of time may be the way to go or time out. I've heard of ignoring the behavior which I try hard to do but sometimes it's impossible. Ignoring this behavior could go 2 ways, either by the child stopping the behavior when realizing he won't get the attention or by it becoming worse knowing he can get away with it.
    Suggestions/advice please

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    OJandMe's Avatar
    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    Boys go through a testosterone surge at 4yrs old.

    Just be firm and consistent with your regular rules and give him lots of opportunities to do really outdoorsey things.

    Have you read 'Raising Boys' by Stephe Biddulf (sp??) it's very good and talks about the different developmental stages unique to boys.

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    I wish I Had advice but the closer my boy gets to 4 the less he listens, the more he does on purpose to get a rise out of me, it's frustrating because he's so "good" normally but he's getting attitude and back chatting a little. Like I ask him to pick something up he throws back "no YOU pick it up" and laughs.

    Not impressed.

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    I call it the fu#king fours and both my girl and boy have been/are going through it. Loads of boundary testing, plus they're getting exposed to kindy etc..

    Just keep your house rules in place - ie in our house, we keep our hands and feet to ourselves, we be kind etc... and try and ride through it.

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    My DD is the same. she just drives me incredibly insane! the worst part is the back answering. it really does my head in. a simple request to pick up toys or whatever gets her going.. and going and going like a broken record. and she doesn't even speak in a calm voice, she screeches and screams it out half the time. the other half of the time she's bossing around her 2 year old ds who she just smacks over the head with whatever toy she's holding. I feel like im constantly yelling! then start the ''i don't love you, i HATE you!!'' mantra she has when she's sulking. some nights i go to bed and my brain is fried.

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    Yep, I prefer the F-ing 4's...it really is a tough period. I do tend to get a bit Super Nanny and be super consistant with time-out at 4, ie 1 warning, then time-out for 4 minutes, particularly for disrespectful behaviour. I have no tolerance for hitting and that sort of thing gets no warning. I believe, whatever discipline method you choose consistency is absolutely the key, with very clear boundaries.

    I also get hyper-vigilant about finding and praising good behaviour, and have found rewards are a good start. My son thrives on praise, and likes to choose a reward that involves just us doing something together, like cooking a cake.

    Good luck!

  7. #7
    headoverfeet's Avatar
    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I've found 123 magic has really helped us with DS1 who is now 5 we have been using it with DS2 as well and will continue to do so as he heads from 3yrs to 4 yrs next month!

    Figuring out which consequences best suit your child is the key

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    My 4 year old dd has been acting a bit naughty lately too, poking out her tongue at me, not listening to me, tantrums etc must be the age!

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    yep I think it's definately an age thing now because since my original post my ds has gone back to being an angel

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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    I call it the fu#king fours and both my girl and boy have been/are going through it. Loads of boundary testing, plus they're getting exposed to kindy etc..

    Just keep your house rules in place - ie in our house, we keep our hands and feet to ourselves, we be kind etc... and try and ride through it.
    Love it !! I'm in the start of a fu#king four nightmare....


 

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