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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    DS was bullied in Pre-primary....I told him to walk away and FOB/my DP/my mother told DS to fight back. Then I started getting reports from the teacher that my DS was the one fighting. So, I parked across from the school and watched my DS during recess/lunch. I saw him getting bullied, I saw him walking away, I saw the kids following him and continuing so then my DS would turn around and hurt them. The teacher would of course only see DS fighting and would punish him.

    I confronted the teacher and told DS to keep fighting back. Now that I know he was trying the right thing first, I dont mind him getting physical. I find the physical harm seems to hurt the child less than the emotional damage.

    DS is now in yr 2 and isnt being bullied much. Older kids might say something here or there, but its all part of sharing the school yard with so many varying ages. There are not enough teachers on duty to handle bullying at all.

    ETA: By fighting back, DS isnt starting massive brawls....no blackeyes or nut shots. He is doing kid stuff like shoving or punching their arm or kicking their leg.

    Oh London, your poor boy! My ds punched the other boy back on the arm the final time. It was enough to make the other boy not pick on him again but that's not to say it's right. In the end I guess ds will do what he feels is right at the time. I agree re not enough teachers and I guess if bullying isn't seen the teachers are reluctant to get involved because they didn't see it.

  2. #12
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    I think firstly we have to differentiate between bullying and just nasty behaviour. Bullying is repeated and targeted aggression intended to physically or mentally hurt someone. Nasty behaviour is more the one-off incidents. As someone who spent a large portion of their childhood being bullied it kind of irks me to hear the misuse of the word bully as I think it dilutes the power and affect real bullying can have.

    I think like any parenting approach it has to be tailored for the child. My DS is very tall and very solid but he is a very gentle boy with a lovely disposition. I've never heard him say or do anything to intentionally hurt someone, he would most likely be the victim. Right now I would recommend that if someone is not playing nicely with him to walk away and find something else or someone else to play with and maybe tell a teacher. He's learning karate at the moment which we hope will encourage mental and physical agility as well as self discipline.

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  4. #13
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    Busy-Bee is offline Offending people since before Del :D
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    I just wanted to add that what was my source of comfort when I was being bullied as a child was an unshakable belief in myself. I was raised to be confident and to believe that I was bright and clever. Whilst this helped me, the person who bullied me was brighter, more popular, bigger, stronger, wittier etc than me, it was my own brother.

  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    In the end I guess ds will do what he feels is right at the time.
    The thing about kids is they don't have a full grasp of the consequences of their actions so they need to be given a very solid foundation on which to act.

    The OP mentioned the bullying seems to be becoming more common, I disagree in that it has always happened but it is no longer accepted as part of growing up and something that you just deal with, we are more aware. What we do have is more avenues through which people can be bullied. Now it is not just on the playground or the phone or a note in the school bag, it is text messages, email, facebook and whatever other social media they access.

    I agree with Cazhaskids - encouraging kids not to suffer in silence, talk to an adult, and keep talking to an adult until you find one who will listen. Also being very clear about when to engage physically, what it means to act in self defence as opposed to pre empting violence and agression, or just lashing out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Bec~ View Post
    it was my own brother.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SpecialPatrolGroup View Post

    I agree with Cazhaskids - encouraging kids not to suffer in silence, talk to an adult, and keep talking to an adult until you find one who will listen. Also being very clear about when to engage physically, what it means to act in self defence as opposed to pre empting violence and agression, or just lashing out.
    I think this is key. I was bullied by a girl from late primary through to yr ten (when she left) and I didn't tell anyone. I was too embarrassed, too worried about the ramifications of "making a fuss".

    When I told her, many years later, mum was horrified that I hadn't gone to her.


 

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