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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wastingtime View Post
    Headoverfeet no they don't and I never said anywhere that they do. But I am the adult and if I can't control what is going to come out of my mouth then I don't open it until I can.
    Amazing...the amount of anti-smacking/gentle discipline threads that have gone in in this place where parents claim they don't want their child learning through fear but everyone stands up for a woman who os threatening to BASH her children. The mind boggles....it really, really boggles.
    Right on. I was struggling with this too

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wastingtime View Post
    With all die respect anewme I think you need to go and re-read that thread. Nowhere did she say that people with large famies should't goout or that children shouldn't misbehave when they're out.
    I just went and re read the first couple of pages of that thread to try and see what you have read and I think you have read way too much in to it.
    If you are threatening to bash your kids when your out because you are stressed then perhaps avoid tje situation as much as possible and seek help on how to cope on your own.
    Honestly this thread.just makes me think you have a hang up about having a large family because what you are saying was said was not said at all.
    If a teacher/friend etc. told one one of your children they would bash them if theu didn't behave would you really just put it down to an off day?
    There is another thread on here about a teacher saying nasty things and scaring other children and we have all said remove the child from tje situation and notify the dept. of education. So according to bh it is not okay for anyone to speak to anyone like this, unless it's a parent to their child?? That's completely f!"+ed!
    Your right it not ok to talk to your kids like that and i said many times it is wrong. I also understand we all have bad days and we sometimes say things we regret and don't mean in the heat of the moment.


    This thread was not about that, it was about other people opinions on large families being out and about when their kids play up.
    It was said by a poster (not the Op) that they should have stay home and shopped via the internet more than once.

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  5. #13
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wastingtime View Post
    Headoverfeet no they don't and I never said anywhere that they do. But I am the adult and if I can't control what is going to come out of my mouth then I don't open it until I can.
    Amazing...the amount of anti-smacking/gentle discipline threads that have gone in in this place where parents claim they don't want their child learning through fear but everyone stands up for a woman who os threatening to BASH her children. The mind boggles....it really, really boggles.
    Um, I was just curious to what your kids did when you took a moment because I frequently take a moment and to outsiders it could look like I am completely ignoring my children when in fact I am gathering strength I get frustrated with this take a moment line because frequently my children are actually about to break something or hurt someone and you can't take a moment, what do you do in that type of situation?

  6. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    Right on. I was struggling with this too
    From what I read, no one "stood up" for her. Every poster pretty much said that no one should speak to their children in that way. Ever. Most posters however could "sympathise" with the "mother" and agreed that in the OP's five minute snap shot of that woman's day, that we should not be so quick to judge.

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    Anewme sje suggested the mother use online shopping because she was threatnimg to bash jer children...not because a large family was out socialising with the world. That's why this thread is ridiculous. She didn't say 'if you have a large family stay home' and I really have no idea how you managed to get that from what was said.
    Headoverfeet if the thread was about a mother ignoring her children I would've been all over it defending the mother and suggesting she wasn't calm enough to deal with it properly. Trust me, with three kids less than 4 years apart and me doing grocery shopping in store with three of them on my own the whole time there have been plenty of moments where I looked like the feral mother who didn't discipline my children. Threatning to bash them...not a disciplinary tool I think should be defended.
    As for dangerous situations...this is my youngest. High maintenance, dangerous child. Remove, put somewhere safe and walk away until composed.
    I also have a child who spent her whole 2nd year of life dealing with roid rage (we didn't doscover that until she was 3). I dealt with her having anywhere from 1-3 3 hour tantrums each and every day, I had a baby to look after as well and a husband working 80+ hours a week so I was on my own. Broken sleep, non stop tantrums and wild behaviour and I was at the end of my tether many times. I even took her to my gp one day...just walked in. She'd been having a hige meltdown for hours and hours and wouldn't stop. I walked in, close to tears,put her down on tje floor and said 'I don't have an appointment but she has been like this for hours and I don't know what is wrong.' I sat and copped the filthiest looks from an old lady who obviously thought I was a bad mother why my screaming banshee of a child lay on the floor hitting and kicking my legs and stripped herself naked in a screaming rage of fury. I won't say I never lost it that year...I did. There were times I locked myself in the bedroom and rang my husband, or a friend, and said 'just talk to me so I don't kill her' but never would I or have I threatened to bash my child when at the end of my tether.
    So don't assume I have easy children, or lots of help, or don't know what it is like. I do. I had first steps parenting come and try and help me with DD1 (no techniques help roid rage thouhh) she was so bad and I was so lost but.I will never excuse a parent for threatning to bash their children. Having your children live in fear of you is not okay. There are no excuses.

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  10. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wastingtime View Post
    Anewme sje suggested the mother use online shopping because she was threatnimg to bash jer children...not because a large family was out socialising with the world. That's why this thread is ridiculous. She didn't say 'if you have a large family stay home' and I really have no idea how you managed to get that from what was said.
    Maybe i am more sensitive to it as I deal with it. You would be amazed at at random people say to mum of large families. Most of them negative...
    things like....
    Don't you have a tv
    Can't you keep you legs closed
    Can't you keep it in your pants
    Did your mother tell you about birth control
    I bet you wish you husband wore a condom
    Your crazy is one I get nearly every week.
    And a whole lot more...

    PLEASE stop telling me that my thread is ridiculous...

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  12. #17
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    anewme, with all due respect, if those comments are making you so sensitive that you are getting upset about things on the internet that weren't even said then I suggest you look at finding ways to not let these comments upset you so much.
    I am not being sarcastic, or rude...I am being very genuine. I am not one to stand up for the pp in question in the other thread but she simply did not say what you have taken from it.She didn't even say the kids were misbehaving.
    Love and enjoy your family and find a way to not let those comments you do get drag you down so much. I have plenty of friends with large families and they cop all the comments too but they don't let it get to them. 1,2,3 or 10 kids. Strangers seem to love making comments to others about their family dynamics.

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  14. #18
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    oh and my apologies for saying your thread is ridiculous. I have been in bed swith gastro since Thurs and I'm a cranky biatch now due to lack of food, a life etc.

  15. #19
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wastingtime View Post
    oh and my apologies for saying your thread is ridiculous. I have been in bed swith gastro since Thurs and I'm a cranky biatch now due to lack of food, a life etc.
    Maybe you should've taken a breath before posting Imagine if that mum had just had the week you had and then had to drag 5 children to the shops for supplies because her husband didn't do it while she was sick in bed?

    Everyone has bad moments/days and IMO that's ok! That's the point im trying to make :handshake:

  16. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wastingtime View Post
    oh and my apologies for saying your thread is ridiculous. I have been in bed swith gastro since Thurs and I'm a cranky biatch now due to lack of food, a life etc.
    I hope you feel better soon.
    I am not upset, it just annoyed me. I just thought it would make a good discussion topic as there seems to be some people that felt the same way as i did.
    .

    Anyhow i thought i would add in the comment i got on Sunday at church. I was told that it was so nice to see a teenager who was so caring to his siblings. That is clear to see that ds3 (5 mths) loves all his brother and sisters and how much they all love him, that it must be so nice to be loved like that by so many people. It just melted my heart.


 

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