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  1. #1
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    Default Spin Off* Large families out and about....

    The other thread got me thinking...It was suggest that a mum of 5 boys who were misbahaving should be doing internet shopping....

    So should a large family have to stay at home all the time, just in case one or more of the kids misbehaves.

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    There are 9 of us in our family so when we go out, there is a high likelihood of someone having a meltdown (usually me )

    I don't particularly care what other people think anymore. I've had the stares, the shocked faces the totally original "don't you own a TV" comment People with think whatever they want, especially those of them that are perfect

    I've seen families with one or two children have the same meltdowns whilst out shopping. Each to their own.

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  4. #3
    headoverfeet's Avatar
    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I think that poster fails to realise that internet shopping from your local supermarket doesn't include 'we will deliver it today' or that shock horror not every household in Australia has access to this service or that some families don't have the $8 it costs or the extra they charge for some of the items (especially fresh stuff) or that not everyone has help!

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    I would like a big family of my own so I might be in for a rude awakening in future years but this is my thought: no you shouldn't be made to feel like not going somewhere because of the large family, I love seeing a large family out and about... makes me smile and I always think 'how wonderful' however if you're going to be a nuisance (screaming obscenities) then ya stay home because my children don't need to be exposed to that.

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    I think this thread is ridiculous. Nowhere did it say that large families shouldn't go out incase their children misbehave.
    The mum in question was threatening to bash her children. 1 kid or 5 kids or 12 kids if you that stressed that you are at such breaking point that you are threatening to bash your kids because of their behaviour take a minute and breath.
    I have been at complete breaking point with my kids when out and known I would say something I would regret so I said nothing until I could control my emotions better.
    Seriously, this was not someone having a dig at a large family with misbehaving children...this was someone expressing concern about a mother threatening to bash her children.
    If you threaten to bash your child/ren when they are misbehaving because you can't cope then yes, seek help. Don't let your child live in fear of you because you are struggling.

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  10. #6
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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    I have days when I go out with all of them and regret it. and then I have days when I go out with all of them and just BEAM with how awesome they are, and how nice they are being to each other and how lovely it is to is to see O and J just spontaneously pair up with one of the little boys each and make it their responsibility to look after them the whole trip.

    I see parents with one or two kids and the kid is just throwing a mickey fit.

    I see teenagers out by themselves behaving in ways I feel are completely unwelcome.

    I see adults behaving in ways which should be kept at home..

    But life is such that you need to leave the house for things... the difference is, if a parent, teen or other adult is having a bad day and feels out of sorts, or is involved with something and just doesn't want to put it away and go out for a chore... they don't. Kids don't have that choice. If they are relaxed and involved with a game at home, if they are feeling tired, if they are out of sorts.. and a parent needs to go out, they have to go! I'd be peeved to at times if I was forced to go out places all the time when I didn't want to.

    I won't keep my kids at home all the time, and I won't apologise for them being ratty when they are out sometimes. They didn't want to come, they didn't have a choice, they're peeved, they're young and can't handle the frustration of that like an adult can....

    And I can't be more proud when we plan a family day out and they all rise to the plate and are just absolutely gorgeous and polite and well behaved and helpful and kind... and you know, it might be that day, it might be my kids on that day, my large family on that day, that helps another parent tip the scales in the favour of adding an extra ray of light to theirs.


    ETA: It was not the OP that was making those statements on the other thread.. it was the underlying discourse of the responses of another.

    No one NO ONE said that screaming that you're going to hurt your kids is okay... regardless of how many kids you have! But there was a running discourse that large families with a child/children who misbehave well it must come down to the Mum not being able to control them...

    Coz Mum's with with less than 3 have it together all the time apparently and their kids never play up in public.
    Last edited by OJandMe; 08-10-2012 at 10:16.

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    Thanks. I needed that.
    There only 7 of us most days, with rare 8 when dd1 is home. I have a child with aspergers and one with adhd and still manage to pop into the shop on the way home from school most days without a problem.
    I was just at the comments that we should have to internet shop.

  12. #8
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wastingtime View Post
    I have been at complete breaking point with my kids when out and known I would say something I would regret so I said nothing until I could control my emotions better.
    Do your children stand and wait nicely while you take a moment?

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    With all die respect anewme I think you need to go and re-read that thread. Nowhere did she say that people with large famies should't goout or that children shouldn't misbehave when they're out.
    I just went and re read the first couple of pages of that thread to try and see what you have read and I think you have read way too much in to it.
    If you are threatening to bash your kids when your out because you are stressed then perhaps avoid tje situation as much as possible and seek help on how to cope on your own.
    Honestly this thread.just makes me think you have a hang up about having a large family because what you are saying was said was not said at all.
    If a teacher/friend etc. told one one of your children they would bash them if theu didn't behave would you really just put it down to an off day?
    There is another thread on here about a teacher saying nasty things and scaring other children and we have all said remove the child from tje situation and notify the dept. of education. So according to bh it is not okay for anyone to speak to anyone like this, unless it's a parent to their child?? That's completely f!"+ed!

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    Headoverfeet no they don't and I never said anywhere that they do. But I am the adult and if I can't control what is going to come out of my mouth then I don't open it until I can.
    Amazing...the amount of anti-smacking/gentle discipline threads that have gone in in this place where parents claim they don't want their child learning through fear but everyone stands up for a woman who os threatening to BASH her children. The mind boggles....it really, really boggles.

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