Hi OP I KNOW how you feel but my urge to have the big family still won. Not having the 4 or 5 to you is definitely not because your children are a hassle or anything but I think you made a decision lisitioning with your head and your heart. My head was trying to say stop but my heart kept saying **** up!!!
We will have 4 children come February and I always say if we were smart we would have stopped at 2. I love al my children but I'm lucky my circumstances make it a little easier to manage.