+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 23
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    490
    Thanks
    90
    Thanked
    244
    Reviews
    0

    Wink Did you want a big family before having children and then change your mind?

    Just curious as to how many people this hapoened to.
    I know when we had one we had said we wanted 4 or 5 and then we had our second and decided we were done but got a bonus third!
    I know my mum always wanted 4 too but stopped at 2 once the reality of children hit!
    I admire peiple with large families, and have a few friends with 4 or 5 in their family but I also know a lot more who said they wanted a big family until they started having children and realised just how much work it is every single day and realised they coukdn't stretch themselves far enough to have a large family (which is the same for me despite.me having someone recently imply that to not have the 4-5 children I originally wanted I obviously find my children a nuisance! She is pregnant with her first...I'm curious as to how this plays out for her!! haha)
    There are a thousand reasons we stopped when we did...the reality of day to day life with three, finances (I am a sahm but am studying now and we have sacrificed a lot but I know my DH feels a lot of pressure being the sole bread winner. It's not just as easy as making sacrifices), the difficulty of it all when everyone gets sick,how busy it is, the physical strain on my body (third pregnancy was so much harder than the first two and I wasn't a very fun mum which I wouldn't put my kids through again), the fact our kids aren't good sleepers and don't sleep until they are at least 2 which makes day to day life hard with other kids...hard to be fun, cool and calm when you've had three hours of broken sleep, and then the sibling arguments which just seem to get worse as they get older!
    If it was down to how much we love our kids alone then we'd have a dozen...they aren't a nuisance, we just looked at what we could cope with comfortably and realised that it wasn't the 4-5 like we originally thought!
    So who else has had the same experience?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,403
    Thanks
    93
    Thanked
    387
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I did the opposite, I wanted none in my 20's then two when we got married now we have DD (6months old) and I'd like 6 or 7!! I love it. The day after she was born I said to my mum I was ready to go again... should have seen her face!! :-)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    490
    Thanks
    90
    Thanked
    244
    Reviews
    0
    That was us too Ciaosmama! We wanted 2 and then Dd1 was born and we held off on ttc until she was 6 months old and wanted 4 or 5 but we were both ready to try again when DD1 was 2 days old!! Everyone kept saying 'just wait until she's more mobile etc. and you'll be glad you waited to try' but that feeling never came. Then DD2 came on the scene and we were more hesitant about no. 3 and by the time she was 12 months old we were done. Then DS surprised as a few months later but having one didn't make me change my mind...it was the reality of more than one that got is thinking
    Last edited by Wastingtime; 07-10-2012 at 08:03.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    21,654
    Thanks
    15,094
    Thanked
    11,266
    Reviews
    14
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 5/2/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 31/10/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 24/10/14Busiest Member of the Week
    Kinda... We wanted 6, took a break at 4 then had a few years before 5 and got a surprise 6.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to LoveLivesHere For This Useful Post:

    Wastingtime  (07-10-2012)

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    The New England
    Posts
    1,199
    Thanks
    448
    Thanked
    441
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Yes! I always saw myself as a mum with three kids. After DS I will be grateful if we survive two kids! They are such hard work, especially with the no sleeping. Though I would love twins.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Trio For This Useful Post:

    Wastingtime  (07-10-2012)

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    795
    Thanks
    109
    Thanked
    411
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I always wanted 4 children. We now have 3 and I and debating having number 4. I would LOVE to have another, it's more finances that concerns me

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Jarylee For This Useful Post:

    Wastingtime  (07-10-2012)

  10. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    438
    Thanks
    1,246
    Thanked
    245
    Reviews
    0
    Same as op here. Before I had kids I wanted 4 or 5 but now I have 1dd and another one due in December in pretty sure that will be it for us. Similar reasons to you, financial, lack of sleep etc.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Ashram For This Useful Post:

    Wastingtime  (07-10-2012)

  12. #8
    headoverfeet's Avatar
    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    18,954
    Thanks
    3,142
    Thanked
    4,892
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    I thought 4-5 would be nice pre kids, then we had 2 spirited boys children close in age a few years later we now have DD

    I feel like I am pushing myself and DF with 3 so there is no way I am planning #4 just yet. I have actually fallen pregnant twice this year once we terminated and just recently I have had a miscarriage (pregnancy while coming off the mirena due to hormonal issues) I'm getting the copper IUD put in when hubby is home next weekend.

    While we haven't eliminated the idea of #4 it won't be until DD is due to go to kindy at the earliest.

  13. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    8,806
    Thanks
    7,267
    Thanked
    9,720
    Reviews
    5
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by ciaomamma View Post
    I did the opposite, I wanted none in my 20's then two when we got married now we have DD (6months old) and I'd like 6 or 7!! I love it. The day after she was born I said to my mum I was ready to go again... should have seen her face!! :-)
    I had my first at 21 and swore if never do that again!

    fast forward 10 years, I'm now married to the love of my life and nursing my second DD! I haven't entirely ruled out one more... But also have two awesome step kids so I already have a much bigger family than I ever thought I would!

  14. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    1,880
    Thanks
    1,521
    Thanked
    972
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I always wanted at least 2, preferably 3 kids. Not anymore! My DD is 8 weeks old and I am totally happy with just her, for many reasons. Firstly my partner is 10 years my senior, already has an almost 15yr old DD and isn't really interested in any more. Secondly, neither of us earn a lot of money (which is not something that's likely to change and we are fiine with that) and for us to be able to do the things we want to do for the girls, having more kids would make that near impossible. For instance, we're saving up to take DSD to Japan next year for her 16th birthday - things like travel are important to us and wouldn't be possible if I had to be out of work for another large chunk of time and we had another person to pay for. Also we'd like to start thinking about buying some land at some point in the future.

    Thirdly....babies are exhausting! My daughter is the most amazing thing that ever has or will happen to me, but I really don't know if I could do this newborn thing again, especially with another kid in tow! She'd need to be in school at least and my partner will be 43 by then and I just don't think it'll happen! But of course, you never know


 

Similar Threads

  1. Surname change for children
    By Kayteigh in forum Single Parents
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 24-09-2012, 08:23
  2. Did your cycle length change after children or subsequent children?
    By headoverfeet in forum Conception & Fertility General Chat
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 16-04-2012, 13:21
  3. Worried about 'creepy' family member around my children
    By karter in forum Issues with Family Members
    Replies: 81
    Last Post: 15-04-2012, 21:33

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Bamboo Lulu
Unique, non-toxic wooden eco toys for babies. Water-based paints, saliva-resistant & baby safe. Super soft, prints & basics for baby, made from bamboo & organic cotton. Hypoallergenic - great for eczema relief. FREE gift with purchase. Code BUBHUB
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Tribalance
TriBalance is a physio, yoga & pilates studio in Brisbane's inner north, offering specialised women's health physiotherapy services. Weekly pregnancy yoga classes are scheduled at the studio on Thursdays 1- 2pm and Saturdays 1-2:15pm.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!