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  1. #21
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    My DD has to walk down very dark streets to get to her tram after work and then later if she misses the last connecting tram she has to walk the 5 km from the city home a few nights a week. I must admit to worrying often about her.

    In regards to teaching our sons, Of course we can make a effort to teach them. I taught and will continue to teach/discuss this with my 3. We talk about respecting women. My boys know there is NEVER a reason for hitting a woman. They have been taught No ALWAYS means No and that if you unsure than it No, If they are drunk than it's always No. There is plenty to discuss with your sons just as there is with your daughters.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by darla87 View Post
    It has to start with teaching out sons to respect women. Treat all women as you would your mother or sister. That rape is akin to murder in my eyes, and men who do this aren't "real men".
    I think that the majority of people do, but there will always be men who commit these crimes, and they may even come from families where their parents did in fact try to instill good moral values. I lived just off Chapel St when I was in my 20's and used to walk to work in the seedy nightclub area around that vicinity at 5am every Saturday and Sunday morning. I had several uncomfortable moments with men, but on one occasion I was actually grabbed from behind and groped. I managed to break free and screamed at him to 'eff off' and he did, but he could just as easily not have and there was no one around to have helped me. Women should be able to walk anywhere they want without being bothered by anyone, but that just isn't the reality of the world we live in.

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  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    Can I suggest everyone follow their state's police force and/or local area command on facebook? They often post about things like attempted abductions that don't make the news.

    I have had my drink spiked while alone in London, I was very fortunate that the acquaintance I was with was willing to take me to his place to stay.
    How do I do that? Do I just like Victoria Police or can you drill down to a more local branch?

    I think back in horror as to the amount of times I walked the 20mins home from the city, not always on the main roads and never really conscious of being on my own and being vulnerable. I'm not that old but the difference in safety these days is of real concern.

  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuppet View Post
    I was assaulted on a bus in England. A full bus. I was young, and scared and embarrassed. And travelling alone. I'll never forget his smug, taunting smile. And he was so much bigger than me. Physically intimidating. It was a 12hr coach trip and I was sick as a dog and huddled up against the window.

    To this day I freeze slightly when a man I don't know sits next to me on a train/bus.

    I think its a very complicated issue as people offend for so many different reasons.

    But one thing I would like to see change - I would like to see violence against women become unacceptable in pron. Some main****** pron follows themes of r.ape or violence and shows women resisting, then enjoying it. I would love for this to disappear. I don't care if its just 'fantasy'. The idea of men getting turned on by 'fantasy' violence against women scares me. Violence shouldn't be depicted as s.exy.

    The other thing is people think that if its busy, you're safe. Not true. Other people being around won't protect you automatically. Fight. Make a scene. Draw the attention of bystanders. That can help if you're being harrassed or threatened with kidnap. I wish I had done that. And if you are a bystander - don't ignore pleas for help, or someone in distress. Call the police. Don't assume someone else will do so or has done.
    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    Yes likewise - I was horrified that a recent 'erotic liturature' (AKA badly written story about sexual violence) was so popular, with women! Seriously disturbing.
    Snap, you just reminded me about the recent phenomonen of this particular book series that is very popular right now, no way in hell will i read it if it condones rape culture.
    Last edited by Veve; 28-09-2012 at 17:42.

  6. #25
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Quote Originally Posted by ICanDream View Post
    How do I do that? Do I just like Victoria Police or can you drill down to a more local branch?

    I think back in horror as to the amount of times I walked the 20mins home from the city, not always on the main roads and never really conscious of being on my own and being vulnerable. I'm not that old but the difference in safety these days is of real concern.
    Every area has a different local area command. I like NSW police and the LAC I live in. If you google "Victorian Local Area Commands" you should be able to find where your suburb/town etc fits and almost all of them have Facebook pages.

  7. #26
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witchypoo View Post
    How do you teach 'don't rape' to males? Every male in our society knows that it is against the law and morally repulsive. That is no secret. It is widely known and the man who committed the crime mentioned knew it, but he acted anyway. Unfortunately there have always been and always will be people who commit terrible crimes. I get the whole 'victim blaming ' thing, but at the end of the day I can't control what other people are going to do, I can only minimise the risk to myself by avoiding certain situations that are more dangerous than others. The world isn't fair.
    You don't teach them by telling women to be more careful!!! The people who commit these crimes do so because they feel they are entitled to these women, you teach them by activly challenging rape culture, by teaching them that women are equals in all areas of life.

    You know most violence against women occures within relationships, What are we meant to do teach our daughters to always be careful? To not wear certain clothing or act a certain way around her partner unless she wants xyz?
    Last edited by Veve; 28-09-2012 at 17:43.

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    I def agree with pp's that we need to also shift the focus onto the actions of men. We always trot out the statistic that 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted - unless one guy is really busy then that's a hell of a lot of men assaulting women! So why don't we ever hear the stat that 1 in 8 (or whatever) males will be perpetrators of sexual assault?!

    Yes women must have a sense of personal responsibility and safety but boys must be taught that it's never okay to use their physical strength to intimidate a woman, to respect women etc. We are incredibly vulnerable to men and they must never abuse that, physically or sexually.

    If you are a woman in Victoria, the leading cause of non natural death is intimate partner violence. we CAN start this education in childhood.
    Last edited by Veve; 28-09-2012 at 17:44.

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  11. #28
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witchypoo View Post
    Unfortunately there have always been and always will be people who commit terrible crimes.
    And I refuse to believe there will always be men who commit these crimes! Men are not poor helpless creatures incapable of changing their beliefs our sons are not preprogrammed to rape and abuse women!

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    We are kind of talking about 2 different categories of people here. The type of scum that abudcts, rapes and murders is not someone who was every going to be 'educated' out of their behaviour. That type of person is a sociopathic freak who could, would not and did not care about the consequences of their behaviour. People who kill other people for sh!ts and giggles are not normal and there is no way to 'educate' the behaviour out of them. Ivan Milat would not have refrained from becoming a serial killer if he had been 'educated' better. He was a sicko who enjoyed the game of catch and kill.

    I agree that we can educated better to help prevent violence in relationships and low level violence though. Although often the perpetrators of those crimes come from houses where that behaviour has been modeled for them from a very early age in their own houses and other close environments, namely by the people that we are hoping would be educating them otherwise. I think that women need to be taught self respect and that it's not right and that being hit once is being hit too often and that at that point they should leave, no 2nd chances.

  13. #30
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    Funny enough my youngest 2 DD's and i were watching the documentary 'women,war and weddings' this morning. Sadly my ds werent home and we only got to see half of it but it was great to open the dialogue of how some men saw women as property and that in some cultures they aren't allowed to leave there house without the husbands/father/brothers etc permission. They show these poor girls in prison for that simple act of leaving the house. They show stove burning victims and most importantly they show young me/teenagers that believe wholeheartedly that this was the right way to think. It also showed what progression that had been made. They showed one of the first women lecturer in a local uni and they showed women who had gone on to tv who had been threatened to be beheaded by their own family. anyhow I am off topic here.

    I wanted men can taught to see woman have no rights just as they can be taught that women are to be respected.


 

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