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  1. #1
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    Default When Men commit Violence against Women

    When a lone female is snatched in a random attack and brutalised by a sick and twisted human being, her life taken from her, we are shaken to the core and ask 'why' and 'how can this happen?'. And rightly so.

    Unfortunately, violence against women is not uncommon, and I'd hazard a guess that there are several women on this forum who have been in situations that could potentially have had devastating consequences, and I want to open a dialogue about this, as I think it's very important to discuss. Incidences get reported to the police but don't necessarily make it to the news.

    Myself, I was attacked by a male, in my early 20's, while walking home drunk from a night out - I was not 25m from home. I was lucky an somehow slipped out of his grip, got to my feet and ran for my building and he ran off in the opposite direction, thank god. Later, the police told me a similar attack had occured earlier in the evening on the same street.

    I also had my drink spiked in a busy club, but thankfully two of my male friends got my legless self home safely and deposited me safely insidie my front door into the safe hands of my flatmate. In the above instance I had also been with two of my guy friends but we had stopped for kebabs and I decided to keep walking as my unit block was only two short blocks from the kebab stand - they told me to wait but I didn't. I felt safe being so close to home.

    This is exactly how these dangerous men start out - they start by approaching women, and build up to physical contact/ trying to knock them over/ grabbing them then running off..... gradually gaining confidence. This is why I believe this other woman who claimed this same man tried to grab her off her bike months back. This is a very serious incident and I wonder what the police did after this (should they have put more cameras up in the area? Made the incident public so other women might come forward with similar incidences? Or did they simply file a report, with no further attempt to find this guy?). Does anyone know what the police do in situations like this? I never followed up after my incident, and have no idea if the offender re-offended. The police spent the night outside my unit on the street but as far as I know that was it.

    I'm sure this type of thing happens all too often. We know drink spiking is quite common.

    Should we make these types of incidences more public so more people who may not have come forward with similar dodgy experiences might then come forward? Should police keep it quiet but install more surveilance cameras in the general area?

    We always hear about advice for women - 'don't walk alone'... 'don't do this or that'. But seriously, oportunistic attacks can occur anywhere. A woman might just as easily be walking 20m from a doorway of a restaurant/club to her car and be grabbed. Another woman was riding her bike (during the day on a main road??). My situation was entirely preventable, but it's not always so preventable. If a sick bas*ard is intent on grabbing a woman he will do so, somehow.

    Thoughts? Stories? Do you think it's important to open a dialogue and encourage women to make bigger voices when they have been in a dodgy situation no matter whether nothing eventuated from the experience and take these things more seriously?
    Last edited by Veve; 28-09-2012 at 17:37.

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  3. #2
    headoverfeet's Avatar
    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I think it's important to raise our sons to respect women which is not easy in todays society. We teach 'be safe' to females, we should be teaching 'don't rape' to males. Then there is the issue of victim blaming

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    I also think the public should be made aware of attempted abductions or drink spiking in the area. I personally never walk alone anywhere at night.

    And so effing wrong, that we as women, have to feel scared on guard when walking down the street.
    Last edited by Veve; 28-09-2012 at 17:37.

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    Its hard with the not walking alone....I have to walk about 200m to my car after work in a busy nightlife area. It's well lit and a road I've walked a million times (lived here for 20 years). But last night I was just that teensy bit scared.

    I used to live less than 300m from a major bus station and had no choice but to walk alone when coming back from work at 11pm.
    Last edited by Veve; 28-09-2012 at 17:38.

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    I'm a big believer in reporting things to the police - even things which may seem insignificant. It takes small, pieces of information all put together to solve, catch predators. I would not hesitate to report anything to the police, that's what they are there for.

    Women should not feel that an incident doesn't warrant reporting 'because nothing really happened'. If you felt threatened then that's enough to report.

    This is how police build profiles and ultimately catch people hopefully before something horrible happens, but at least they have a head start when something terrible does occur.
    Last edited by babyla; 28-09-2012 at 10:49.

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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I also think the public should be made aware of attempted abductions or drink spiking in the area. I personally never walk alone anywhere at night.
    And so effing wrong, that we as women, have to feel scared on guard when walking down the street.
    Yes, I think so too. It makes you realise that even on (seemingly) busy roads like this, we can never be sure of our safety. Heck, Ted Bundy broke into women's homes, even a frat house, to attack women.

    Personally, I feel the only way to tackle this is to not ignore early signs that a guy might be potentially dangerous (attempted grabbing; cruelty to animals; flashing; harassment...?)
    Last edited by Veve; 28-09-2012 at 17:38.

  10. #7
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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    When I was younger I was a 'party animal'... There was one time I was left in the city by myself (my friends left me and took my bag with them) and somehow I got into a cab and got home. I have no recollection of the night, no idea how I got home but I am pretty sure a good samaritan helped me out... Thank god I have grown out of that crap though, there is no way I would go wandering off like I used to these days...
    Last edited by Veve; 28-09-2012 at 17:38.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    Yes, I think so too. It makes you realise that even on (seemingly) busy roads like this, we can never be sure of our safety. Heck, Ted Bundy broke into women's homes, even a frat house, to attack women.

    Personally, I feel the only way to tackle this is to not ignore early signs that a guy might be potentially dangerous (attempted grabbing; cruelty to animals; flashing; harassment...?)
    Could not agree more. These are the signal, warning signs that someone has the potential to commit violence. That's why it's so important for people to report.

    It also allows police to give warnings for areas. Thereby giving women and men a heads up to making informed choices.

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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Can I suggest everyone follow their state's police force and/or local area command on facebook? They often post about things like attempted abductions that don't make the news.

    I have had my drink spiked while alone in London, I was very fortunate that the acquaintance I was with was willing to take me to his place to stay.

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    I think all of these are great points. Also perhaps our daughters (and sons, they can be attacked too if they are being mugged) need to be taught self defence as teenagers, maybe in Physical Education at school? If somebody grabbed me I wouldn't have the first clue as to what to do, other than scream and thrash about or go for the balls, but i know there are some very effective techniques to get out of a persons grip. Hmm, maybe i need to take some self defence classes!

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