This is about my best friend who is getting divorced from her husband. It has turned really nasty and heavily involves the children.
I really just wanted to see if anyone has been through this before and ask how it turned out.
Long story short my best friend and her hubby have been having trouble for the last 3-4 years. He has moved out once 3 years ago and had his ‘me time’ (without kids) and then moved back in a few months later. A few months ago he wanted to move out again but still be together. He said he needed his space. She said no and wanted to separate permanently. He did move out. During this time of separation he found out that she was friendly with a male and had been talking to this male about their problems. She has actually started seeing this guy now and is going ahead with the divorce from her hubby (for those that think she has moved quickly, I agree, but that is what has happened and I don’t judge her for it). Her hubby is livid and is doing everything to make her life hell and getting the kids heavily involved.
Before they split she was full time mum for their 3 children (aged 11, 9 and almost 8). She has raised them 100% until this time as her hubby worked till dinner time 6 days a week and did not have a lot of time with the kids. He provided very well for them financially but that was all he provided (no other support physically, mentally, emotionally etc).
He is now focusing all his attention on the children and is practically brainwashing them, feeding them lies and pushing them away from her. I believe he is doing this as he knows this is how he can hurt her. I think her oldest child is lapping up the attention he is getting from his dad (that he has not had for the 1st 10 years of his life) and the younger two have always followed in what their older brother wants to do as they look up to him. He is also spending a lot of money on them. He lives in a penthouse on the harbor, has bought them a pedigree dog, flown them to the snow for a holiday and also the gold coast. On the other hand my friend has moved into her parents house as she cannot afford to pay rent anywhere. She really has no idea about their finances. He obviously has money wrapped up in his businesses somewhere but she doesn’t know how to access it (he has told centrelink that he is only earning $60K a year??. She knows that he was earning ALOT more than that when they were together). She has a solicitor and they are filing for court soon to sort out the custody arrangements with the children and the finances.
He has told all 3 kids that their mum was having an affair (she wasn’t while they were together). Her oldest calls her on the phone and is very negative and rude. She thinks he is reading from something written as he sounds just like his father with the inappropriate things he says to her. The other 2 are not allowed to talk on the phone OR she is told that they don’t want to talk to her. Her hubby is with-holding the kids from her when she is meant to have them. He does this by picking them up early from school or not taking them to school at all. He has hacked into her face book and emails. He has vandalized her clothes and personal items. He currently has the kids and she doesn’t know where they are (they are not at his apartment) and he won’t return her phone calls (it is meant to be her time with them). He has made false claims of physical abuse (claiming that my friend has abused the oldest child which as not happened). The list of nasty things he is doing is very long ………… It is so bad that I (and alot of other people) are concerned about the long term mental/emotional and social damage this guy is doing to his kids.
I guess my question is has anyone been in a similar situation and what was the outcome? When they go to court will the court see through his vindictive lies (about the kids and the money)? And will she get her fair share of custody (she is desperately missing her kids)? And how do you rebuild your relationship with your children once they have been through something like this?