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  1. #1
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    Default Labour with toddler in room - anyone have any experience?

    So i am 10weeks of having my 2nd little man but i am having some problems with what will happen with DS1 whilst i am in labour.

    He will be 15months when bub is born and we only have my mum here to help with him when i am in labour.

    Problem is my mum is a drinker so can't drive to us at night if i go into labour at night, she can look after him during the day but starts drinking at 5pm and i am not sure how comfortable i am her looking after him at night. Don't get me wrong her life her choice if she is happy thats all that matters but she does get to the sluring unable to talk state pretty much every night.

    Anyway so this means we may have to take DS1 to the delivery suite with us. I am going to sunnybank private in brisbane, i'm not even sure if we can take him in, if anyone knows please let me know.

    But other than that has anyone had a toddler in the room while labouring? The other half will have to look after him but i could imagine it would be so hard to contain them and keep them out of medical equipement. Then during the pushing stages what do u do with him?

    We might just have to have DH look after him and i labour alone but then Dh misses the birth of his son and i'm not sure the hospital will let me labour alone either? Especially if i am going to have an epidural?

    I feel in such a pickel and ratger anxious about it. My obgyn said i will know whats going on more now its number 2 but i certainly don't feel that way.

    Anyone else been in a similar situation?
    Thanks

  2. #2
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Can you hire a doula or student doula? Personally I would not want to have a toddler attend a hospital birth as you said with all the equipment around my DS1 attended DS2's birth at home but he was in a child friendly environment so a bit different. If your going to have him with you I would highly reccomend having him his own carer with a doula or student doula around you would have someone each.

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    BubbleGuppy  (28-09-2012)

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    do you know anyone else who can help? What about a friendly neighbour? Most people would be thrilled to help out, even if it means being interrupted in the middle of the night. When I went into labour in Perth we were new and didn't really know many people. DH's colleague agreed to look after the others, which she did for most of the night.

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    BubbleGuppy  (28-09-2012)

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    I highly doubt they would let your little one in the birthing suite.. there is alot going on and he would need someone's pair of eyes on him at all times. What if you end up having a c/section? In theatre there are ALOT of people in the room at the same time as well. There is no reason y the hospital wouldn't let you birth alone, many women do it, who don't have partners or have partners working away etc... i'd ask a friend to be on standby (even if it's in the middle of the night) ready to look after him for the night to be honest.. less stressful for everybody.

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    BubbleGuppy  (28-09-2012)

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    Thanks ladies,
    Honestly i don't want him there. I know my focus will be on worrying about him and what he is doing rather than giving birth. He is a very active toddler and i have enough trouble controling him at home i couldn't even begin to imagine the tantrums with all that cool electronic equipment that mummy wont let him play with.

    As for someone else looking after him i wish there was. I haven't been away from him more than a few hours since he was born and so far only my mum, dh And me have looked after him. No strangers. Not only does he struggle when with someone he doesn't know having someone i don't know very well look after him is a tough one for me too. I would be so worried about him.

    I think our best option is have dh take him and i labour alone until he can get there and hope bub comes during the day or very early evening so my mum can take ds and dh gets to attend the birth and get back to DS before my mum has had too much!

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    Do you have dial-an-angel in Bris? They do last minute (including nighttime) babysitting. Is that something you'd consider? Perhaps you could have someone mind him a couple of times over the next few weeks to get him used to the idea.

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    BubbleGuppy  (28-09-2012)

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    My toddler was at my hospital birth, it was fine. But I think you need an extra person to be there to take him out if there are any problems or if he's restless etc. maybe your mum could come with you to the hospital if it's at night and she's been drinking?

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    BubbleGuppy  (28-09-2012)

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    Could you labour alone whilst your dh stayed with your ds and then have the midwife call them in when you are just about to give birth? All the best i hope it all works out.

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    BubbleGuppy  (28-09-2012)

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    My toddler also attended my hospital birth and it was fine. In fact I loved having her there. The biggest issue was stopping her from climbing in the bath with me (I had a water birth).
    The midwife brought in a big basket of toys and books and also wheeled in a cot. The staff were totally supportive of her being there.

    Could you labour at home for as long as you can?

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    BubbleGuppy  (28-09-2012)

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    I wouldn't do it. He could find it wery scary to see you in so much pain.
    If stay home for as long as I could, then take him to your mums on the way if you had to head to hospital while it wasn't day time.
    Or I'd hire a babysitter. I'd do everything I could to make sure he wasn't there.

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